2008: The Year of the Reprieve

I'm not willing to say this was the year "change" and "hope" swept in to save us (or at least make us feel better), so I will dub the past 12 months "The Year of the Reprieve."
• We endured a grueling political campaign season full of pandering, race-baiting, name-calling and empty rhetoric until Nov. 4 put the presidential race to bed, pacifying partisans on both sides of the aisle.
• Speaking of which, half of us shook in our boots at the prospect of Vice President Sarah Palin. Now that possibility is extinguished, that same faction looks forward to worrying in 2009 about Vice President Joe Biden.
• We struggled to pay the mortgage until the federal government decided they'd help pay to lower our rates.
• We paid upward of $3 per gallon for gasoline until the price of crude fell out with the rest of the global economy.
• We worried if our respective banks would go out of business until Hank Paulson and the Treasury Department propped them up long enough for the credit markets to thaw a little.
• We worried that the Beijing Summer Olympics would end in a mess of protests, pollution and Communist subversion. Thanks, Michael Phelps, for reminding the world that America is Numero Uno, never minding the fact the Chinese won more gold medals.
• We worried about the health of America's finances until the government passed countless bailouts, rescue packages and other economic goodies for Big Business (though some of us are still quite worried, and with good reason).
• We secretly wondered if a new Cold War with Russia was brewing after the struggle in Georgia until bigger news stories made the issue slowly disappear.
• We all fretted about al-Qaida and other Muslim extremists would gain more ground in Pakistan and Afghanistan until our political leadership decided to start the Afghanistan surge early.
• A few of us expected Hillary Clinton to turn into the Incredible Hulk after losing the primary election, rampaging through most the major cities until she got enough super-delegates (remember them?) to throw the Democratic primary into complete chaos. Instead, Barack Obama helped pay down her campaign debt and found a plum position for her at the State Department.

Here's to all the problems we're carrying over into the new year and all the myriad ways we'll try (and sometimes fail) to fix them.

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Dear People of Los Angeles

I recently learned of a change in a custodial agreement made in your fair city.
Jamie Spears, father of former pop princess and current burnout Britney Spears, is now to be paid $75 an hour to handle her affairs.
Ladies and gentleman, I will gladly enlist the help of two colleagues. Together, you will have a trio of trouble-shooters who feel no familial attachment to Ms. Spears. Additionally, we'd gladly split a $50-an-hour salary.
On top of this, we will see to it Ms. Spears never produces another comeback album for music critics to waste time panning and people with no taste to waste their money on.
Sure, this may cause a problem for the music industry, but we can always take brief vacations in which Ms. Spears is assured to raise enough hell to sell enough tabloids and magazines at grocery and retailer checkout lanes to more than make up for it.
In lieu of a $1,200 monthly payment to maintain an office, how about $600 to lease and fuel two mid-range vehicles to keep tabs on Ms. Spears?
I'm not good with math, but I have to imagine this scenario would be cheaper than the $16,000 being shelled out by you good people to corral and promote a washed-up pop star who would do well to find the phone number of a producer willing to make Ms. Spears center square on a new incarnation of "Hollywood Squares."
I await your response, Los Angeles.

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Cinema Paradiso

For at least the past eight years, I've tried my best to keep track of the films I've seen thus far in my life with a spreadsheet ranking them according to various rationales, litmuses, etc. Over time the list has been revised, amended and edited hundreds of times.

Earlier this week I realized I had not touched the list in almost a year, mostly due to the fact I had not seen more than six new films in theater in the same period of time. Now that I've seen the list fall into such antiquity, I have no choice but to try and update it.

Therein lies my problem. I don't know where to start, and I'm rediscovering the problems I had with it the last time my thoughts dwelled on it. For example:

• Can I really decide whether "Dr. Strangelove" is better than "Lawrence of Arabia"?
• Does a Wes Anderson film truly belong in my top five?
• Am I comfortable enough to admit that "The Godfather" is much better than "The Godfather Part II" despite popular wisdom suggesting otherwise?
• Is it wrong to have "Schindler's List" and "The Producers" next to each other?
• How do I decide between half a dozen great Coen Brothers film, and how does one reconcile that their only Best Picture winner ("No Country For Old Men") may not even rank among my top five Coen flicks?

It's gotten so bad that I've listed the director of each film next to the title so I can go through the rankings and create a new list: My Favorite Films, by director. What have I learned from this exercise?

• Steven Spielberg has made A LOT of movies better than "The Lost World."
• "Blues Brothers 2000" shouldn't have been made.
• Stanley Kubrick could have died before making "Eyes Wide Shut" and seem a helluva lot cooler.
• Quentin Tarantino isn't nearly as prolific as most college-age males are led to believe.
• Frank Darabont and M. Night Shyamalan are in career free-fall, having peaked in the 1990s and stooping as low as being most notable these days for cameos on "Entourage."

This is my hell. For the next few weeks (or months, who knows?), I'll be pondering in my free time whether "Silent Hill" is truly one of the worst films I've ever seen, or if I'm just quietly lamenting the reality that I haven't seen a film by a French director that I truly liked since "Delicatessen" (and even that one loses points over time because it was directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet, who was responsible for another of my least-liked films, "Amelie").

So say a short prayer for all the titles muddling through the middle of my list, left to chance whether they meteorically rise or fall: "Labyrinth," "Scarface," "Gross Pointe Blank" and "Million Dollar Baby." They can use all the help they can get.

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You Play To Win The Game

For those of you interested in Powerball, hold onto your freaking hats... the winds of change are blowing in lottery land.
Starting Jan. 4, 2009, more white-ball numbers will be added to "make the jackpots bigger," while at the same time some red-ball integers will be going away "to create more winners."
The Powerball Powers That Be say this will result in more than 3.5 million more winning tickets each year at the same level of sales.
Bigger jackpots and more winners... Sounds awesome, right?
The starting jackpot is getting a $5-million bump from $15 million to $20 million... so when you inevitably take the lump-sum payment right away, you'll be left with maybe $70,000 more after taxes come next year.... that's enough to pay a good accountant to handle your finances, or a bad lawyer to sift through all the lawsuits you'll be getting from people who claim they're owed a share of your winnings.

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Enjoy (if you can)

Courtesy of Al Crancer, who sent this cartoon to the Sentinel offices with what I'm sure were good intentions.

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Holiday cheer

A quick thanks to whichever member of the Aurora Police Department decided it would be nice to play Christmas music over the radio after 9:15 tonight. Quite honestly, I would be OK if they stopped airing emergency alerts altogether and put on some nice holiday songs from now until Jan. 1, 2009.

Any chance the criminals in Aurora could take a few weeks off to enjoy the holidays while the police scanner gets turned into a yuletide jukebox? That's my Christmas wish — sort of an indirect way of asking for peace on Earth and goodwill toward men.

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Michelle Obama and The Bomb

There are two* things on my nerves as of late:

1. The sound of the AMBER Alert. This sounds eerily like the nuclear bomb siren on Sid Meier's Civilization II, except now it emanates from television sets, the stereo in my car and anywhere else with a screen and a speaker. It's my own little red scare every so often, even though I know if there was an impending nuclear attack, there'd probably be precious little time to be occupied with worrying as the missiles head toward their eventual targets. We'll meet again / don't know where, don't know when...


2. "First Lady-elect." I know a lot of you took a long, hard look at your ballot to see where to mark your vote for Michelle Obama, but alas, she was not an official candidate during the 2008 elections. It's even a bit tenuous to suggest the first lady is anything more than an unofficial ambassador for the country, even though an entire branch of the Executive Office of the President is devoted to helping the spouse of the president play host to all sorts of foreign leaders and dignitaries. Still, no first lady has ever been elected to that post. Nothing is officially expected or demanded of the first lady in our Constitution. Admire her (and question her fashion choices) as much as you will, but for now can she just be "Michelle" and let us do away with the ridiculous (and wrong) "First Lady-elect"?

* - There are only two I care to share with you at this present time, on this blog. Dare I say, the number of things bothering me right now is far too high to expound upon without taking a few days off to detail them properly. Ain't I a cheerful fella?

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The land of Freedumb

The United States of America is no more; until things change, we're the land of Freedumb.

We're not so much a society of civilized beings as we are packs of hyper-sensitive balls of raging self-interest when news like Friday's comes down the wire: A worker is trampled to death by a throng of angery and eager Wal-Mart shoppers as the store opens for day-after-Thanksgiving deals in New York state.

Can we please now do away with the phrase "doorbuster deals"? Some people are starting to take it literally, but such is life in the land of Freedumb.

According to the story, other workers at the Wal-Mart were also stepped upon as they attempted to rescue Jdimytai Damour, a 34-year-old from Queens. People continued shopping. One can only thank one's respective deity that there were no Tickle-Me Elmo's or other must-have gift to fight to the death over, lest the death toll rise higher in suburbia.

When the store was closed to sort everything out, people screamed and cried out against the move. In the land of Freedumb, your sacrifice of standing in line for hours in the dark and cold entitles you to great deals, whatever the circumstances. It's surprising there weren't roving death squads in the line itself, eliminating potential competition for the last few Guitar Hero games. Of course I'm exaggerating, but not much.

Kimberly Cribbs, quoted in the story, had the best one-word explanation of the people involved with this affair: "SAVAGES."

Now capitalism is great. To paraphrase Winston Churchill, it's the worst economic system devised by man, except for all the others... But have the past few months taught us nothing about the effects of uncontrolled economic action by human beings? At the top, the executives will loosen some rules and flaunt the others in the name of revenue generation. At the bottom, the people who couldn't spend about $130 for the Nintendo Wii Fit kit before Thanksgiving are more than happy to wait in line for hours and kill for the chance of putting the discounted $100 version in their shopping carts and making a mad dash to the checkout lanes. How far away are we from all-out warfare in the name of Black Friday? Maybe people would be more orderly and well-behaved if half the store was booby-trapped to dissuade the chaotic, shove-a-stranger behavior that has evolved during the past few decades.

Let this sordid tale serve as reminder that things are not as bad as they can or should be. This isn't a scene out of "The Grapes of Wrath" or some other Depression-era story of people scrapping for food and work. And Rose of Sharon need not breastfeed any starving man as 2008 comes to a close -- all the major fast-food chains are beefing up their value menus to win the business of the credit-strapped masses. Even local barbecue joint Smokey Jackson's can afford to give away free Thanksgiving dinners to all comers -- not just the homeless, jobless or hopeless, but also the gumption-less. Makes me wonder why I spent hours brining and roasting a turkey when Smokey could have done the work for me.

And so help me God, I will be inconsolable if I start hearing about foreclosures surging between January and March as a result of people getting maxed out for the holidays. I'm not suggesting everyone take Christmas off, but if that new GPS unit plays a part in your SUV being repossessed, here's hoping that it works just as well as you walk to and from the bus stop.

Welcome to the land of Freedumb, population 305 million and growing.

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Forget "Dream Ticket" -- Meet the "Dream Team"

So, Democrats: Still smarting that you didn't get an Obama/Clinton or Clinton/Obama ticket to run this fall? I didn't think so.
Hillary Clinton supporters: Are you still worried about the kind of people Barack Obama is surrounding himself with in and around the White House?
Not only are Dems on the cusp of getting Hillary into the administration with a possible appointment as Secretary of State, but they're get a host of Democratic heavyweights at key posts in the Obama administration.

• Attorney General Eric Holder: That's right, the guy who was working behind the scenes when Janet Reno was running the show during the Clinton administration (and I should note, the Monica/Ken Starr/Zippergate era of the second term).


• Secretary of Health and Human Services Tom Daschle: A former US senator for the better part of two decades (and Senate Majority Leader for most of 2001 through 2003). He lost his Senate seat in 2004 by only 4,500 votes after the South Dakota Republicans threw everything they had at unseating him.


• Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano: While not official as of this writing, this Western governor of a border state is expected to take the reins from Michael Chertoff and the Bushies. She's been named one of the five best governors in the United States by Time magazine, and is constantly rumored to be a contender to send John McCain back to one of his seven 10 who-knows-how-many homes when his Senate seat comes up for election.


• Secretary of State Hillary Clinton: This is the biggie, if it happens -- and all signs point to 'yes' at this point. I still wonder if she could swallow the fact she'd be serving at the pleasure of the man who kept her from winning the White House, but there could easily be something more complex going on than most would think. Is this the price Obama pays for Hillary not wrestling the nomination away from Obama with every trick in the book? Is the Obama administration just a third term for the Clintons? It wouldn't surprise me given the number of Clintonistas getting jobs from Obama.

So who else gets a shot at being a Washington insider? Based upon what we've seen thus far, here are a few of my guesses:

• Secretary of Defense: I have to think there are two big names for this post who would sail through confirmation hearing: (1) Retired Gen. and former presidential candidate Wesley Clark, and (2) US Senator Chuck Hagel, who likely could land somewhere else on the Cabinet as a big-name Republican in a Democratic-controlled Washington. Also in the mix is retired Gen. Anthony Zinni should Clark or Hagel not want/be offered the job.


• Secretary of Energy: I'm sure there are plenty of people here in Colorado who will be quick to suggest Gov. Bill Ritter because he can't finish a sentence without using the phrase "new energy economy." These people should shut their mouths and start practicing their best "Ahhnold" accents, because it's not crazy to think outgoing Calif. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger could lend his star power to an already star-studded Obama Cabinet. Don't expect New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson to be able to swallow his pride enough to do the same job he had in the Clinton administration after being snubbed for Vice President (and Secretary of State, most likely).


• Secretary of Veterans Affairs: A man who is eminently qualified (he's done the job before) and not currently working in Washington is former US Senator Max Cleland. A darkhouse candidate would be US Rep. Ike Skelton of Missouri, a Truman Democrat who has been representing Missouri's 4th District quite capably for the past 31 years. But I doubt there's any reason for him to leave his chairmanship of the House Committee on Armed Services.


• Secretary of the Treasury: William Ayers.... JUST KIDDING! I don't buy the talk of Warren Buffett for this post for one minute, as eye-catching as those headlines would be. I think the safest pick Obama could make would be former Fed Chairman Paul Volcker. Don't rule out former Harvard President Larry Summers, who's already on the inside as part of Obama's transition team dealing with economics.

So who gets left out? Probably Colin Powell, who looks like he's going to be edged out for another possible go as Secretary of State thanks to Hillary and Richardson. Add John Edwards to this list, for obvious reasons. Unless some super-special post covering climate change is created, expect Al Gore to continue with his current day job(s).

Who's left who needs/deserves a job but no logical choices come to mind?

• US Sen. Claire McCaskill was a vocal supporter of Obama, and a newly elected Democrat governor in Missouri could replace her with another solid Dem (like Robin Carnahan, daughter of Jean and the late Mel Carnahan) should McCaskill get a federal job. I've heard some people say she's in line to replace Howard Dean as party chair for the Democrats, but I don't buy it. But anything's possible; I'll say Secretary of Transportation given her Senate Commerce subcommittee experience.
  
  
• Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius has somehow managed to win over enough moderate Republicans to be in office as long as she has, but she worked as hard as anyone to get Barack Obama elected (even though John McCain won her state with a double-digit margin). Maybe she ends up heading the Secretary of Education?


• "Sweet" Caroline Kennedy helped deliver Joe Biden to the vice presidency; does she, then, get a nice government post delivered to her? Is her next job the stepping stone to eventually replacing her uncle in the US Senate from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts?
  

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WWLD?

I've seen one too many articles, electoral cartoons and other noise this morning about how Abraham Lincoln would be heartened by the election of Barack Obama. I won't go as far as to say that Lincoln didn't care about black people, but the ideal of him as the Great Emancipator is not one earned by his intentions. Take note of this Lincoln quotation:

"My paramount object in this struggle is to save the Union, and is not to either to save or to destroy slavery. If I could save the Union without freeing any slave I would do it, and if I could save it by freeing all the slaves I would do it; and if I could save it by freeing some and leaving others alone I would also so that. What I do about slavery, and the colored race, I do because I believe it helps to save the Union. I shall do less whenever I shall believe what I am doing hurts the cause, and I shall do more whenever I shall believe doing more will help the cause."

Just like John McCain, Lincoln was more concerned with winning a war than losing a political victory (i.e. the emanicipation of the slaves). And don't make me go into detailing just how much good the Emanicipation Proclamation did for those in bondage throughout the Confederacy (Hint: Not much).

I'll expound on this at some later date, but for now I will try to drown out the Obama-Lincoln talk with this cartoon from Pat Bagley of the Salt Lake Tribune of Obama fist-bumping Uncle Sam:

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Thanks to be given

For all the name-calling, smearing, race-baiting and ageism the 2008 presidential campaign has produced on behalf of the major-party candidates, there is one bit of truth I read today in an Associated Press story by Ted Anthony that just astounds me:

"In a country accustomed to low voter turnout, apathy has not been a problem this year."

Until now, I had not known an election year where there was a shortage of pundits decrying the lack of interest in the election, on any level, by any group of people (usually young adults).

My only worry is that the historic nature of this presidential campaign is the motivating force for this increased interest, and that future campaigns will not live up to this level of political engagement for the average American. But if there is one thing I am hopeful for in this electoral season, it is that I am mistaken in this regard — that the metaphoric wave of a surge we've seen, in the everyman's desire to be informed and active in the political process, will not break on the shores of Nov. 5, but rather continue on for days, weeks, months and years to come.

So to everyone who voted early and took their civic duty seriously, thank you.
To everyone who will be making to the polls on Nov. 4 to exercise their rights, irrespective of their political leanings, thank you

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Electoral Vote Projection: Oct. 31, 2008

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In case you missed it, here's the pre-taped portion of Barack Obama's big commercial that played on NBC, CBS and Fox Wednesday night. Each ended with a live segment from a rally in Florida (although the Fox version was not truly live, as they waited until after the conclusion of Game 5 of the World Series to broadcast the ad).

I think this ad did more good for the Obama campaign than bad.

The negatives? It's another opportunity for John McCain to label Obama as an untested, camera-ready celebrity who's flaunting campaign finance rules by dropping millions of dollars on an informercial with less than a week before Election Day.

Do these negatives actually stick though? McCain has yet to really tie the massive fundraising figures Obama has received to any nefarious subjects; he's gone down the ACORN fraud route but hasn't hit it home as much as most of his conservative constituents would hope he would.

The positives? Obama deflects part of the "celebrity" knock against him by highlighting the stories of average Americans (dare I say, the proverbial Joe the Plumber?). At the same time, Obama can claim he's not so "unknown" and mysterious when he bought a self-aggrandizing 30-minute commercial spot on three of the four major broadcast networks.

For all the Obama devotees who have grown weary of hearing the words "Ayers," "socialist" and "untested" over the past few weeks, I think the commercial was a reminder of what they saw and heard at the DNC at Invesco Field.... at the 2004 DNC during the keynote address. They rediscovered Obama the Communicator, the Obama they fell in love with weeks, months and years ago.

This election is no longer John McCain versus Barack Obama. This election is between Barack Obama winning a majority and Barack Obama winning a mandate for his much-heralded "change."

Let's wax a little economic, shall we? When publicly-traded companies release earnings reports and other economic data each quarter, the short-term fate of their respective stocks rests solely in the hands of the expectations of The Street. If you beat expectations, it's payday because everyone backs up the truck (as Jim Cramer would say) and goes straight to TRIPLE BUY. If you only meet or miss those same expectations, you are adrift as an organization and investors lose confidence faster than a Kansas City Chiefs quarterback.

What does it all mean? It means that unless Barack Obama doesn't win in something close to an Electoral College landslide, he's Barack Obama, the guy half the country hated. If he scores uncontested victories in states like Virginia, North Carolina, Colorado, Missouri, Ohio and Montana, he's Barack Obama the Unifier -- a true man of the majority with the backing of a decidedly Democrat Congress that can do what it wants, when it wants to whomever it wants to. Drill, baby, drill? Only if it's on teeth as part of an Obama-approved healthcare reform package.

Of course, this is assuming Obama plays by "the rules" -- rules that say your political swagger is dictated by your margin of victory. These rules were officially broken in 2004 when George W. Bush decided that beating John Kerry by about 30-something electoral votes. Honestly, you could make the case that when the President of the United States is a half-black guy raised by his grandparents who is widely believed (among certain circles) to be an Arab Muslim, the very fact he was able to get elected in a nation where racism still runs rampant and unashamed (within certain circles) is reason to act like you've got political capital to last you through your lifetime.

But those rules, as I said, are broken and left in shambles for Obama to either piece together and repair -- or to walk all over, just as Bush did. If the rules still applied, the Democratic surge in Congress would have brought an end to the military surge in Iraq along with the rest of the American military occupation of a nation at war not only with itself but also its occupier. Of course, we committed more lives and resources toward Iraq despite a broad slate of new congressmen and congresswomen elected mostly on the promise of bringing an end to the war in Iraq and the reining-in of Generalissimo Bush and Imperator Cheney.

Obviously Obama is not content to just win. This campaign is not going to "run the clock out" on John McCain and Sarah Palin -- I won't call it bloodlust, but they are definitely hungry for the complete and utter humiliation of the Republican ticket at the polls -- red states, blue states and all places in between. Need any evidence of this? After not saying a word about Sarah Palin when asked directly about her qualifications during one of the three presidential elections, the Obama campaign came out with the following ad:



John McCain willingly climbed into the campaign coffin and layed down when he chose Sarah Palin despite her inexperience, without regard for her questionable travel expenses, her husband's secessionist views, her underage daughter's pregnancy and her decidedly non-maverick political beliefs -- the question now is how many nails Obama and Biden can find and hammer into the lid of that coffin between now and Nov. 4.

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Mike Singletary for President?

I think John McCain could go out, deliver this exact speech and even up his standing in the polls... Maybe even ditch Sarah Palin, put Singletary on the ticket and win in a landslide.

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Electoral Vote Projection: Oct. 28, 2008

With one week to go, here's how I think it all goes down. Colorado will give Obama either 270 or 271 electoral votes (depending on how Maine and Nebraska pan out), clinching the victory before even hitting Pacific Time.

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Check us out

Check out the new and improved AuroraSentinel.com today!

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Live Blog: Final Presidential Debate

• Why is each candidate's economic plan best?
— McCain invokes the ailing Nancy Reagan and says America is justifiably angry — but he "won't repeat" the specifics of his plan except for his $300-billion mortgage rescue plan. Uses the phrase "homeowners first." 'Country' must feel slighted.
— Obama says the bailout was a "first step" and says taxpayers should get their money back. Says there's no relief for the middle class, then talks about stopping outsourcing, his tax cut plan and dipping into IRAs. Says a homeowner rescue is needed... just not McCain's version. Then expounds on education, energy and healthcare as "long-term" issues on the economy — a bit of a reach.
— McCain counters saying Obama's tax plan prevents/makes it harder for people to own/operate small businesses.
— Obama says both candidates want tax cuts — just that he wants to cut for the middle class, McCain wants to cut for the rich. Haven't we heard this before? At least we get a new character in this election: "Joe the Plumber." Is he related to Joe Six-Pack?
— McCain claims Obama's plan is wealth redistribution. Isn't that what government is at its most basic level?

• How do the candidates respond to report that says they add to the deficit, not decrease it?
— Obama says getting money back on bailout is key. "Adjustments" to the budget? Cut insurance company subsidies (a "giveaway"). Doesn't get any more specific on cuts, but says that America must "invest" in energy and healthcare to save later (Ed: No one wants to admit you have to spend money to make money, including Sen. Obama).
— McCain shifts back to the homeownership issue — by that, we mean his most-basic talking points: Home values help boost jobs. We need nuclear power. Stop sending money to countries that don't like us. Energy independence. The "hatchet" spending freeze first, then "the scalpel" Obama prefers. The specific cuts McCain actually mentions: Tariffs on sugar cane-based ethanol, the marketing assistance program, and sweetheart deals to jet builders.
— Obama says spending freeze is irresponsible and that focusing on earmarks alone "won't solve the problem." B. Hussein's history lesson: Clinton created a surplus, W. doubled the deficit, McCain will bring more of the same.

• Can either of them balance the budget in four years?
— McCain SCORES!!!!! "If you want to run against President Bush, you should have run four years ago." Great line, but it's far too little, too late. McCain says "the hatchet and the scalpel" both work. Says he fights against all sorts of spending. How many times will we hear McCain say "fight," "fighter" or "fighting" tonight? The sky's the limit.
— Obama tries to prove he's a maverick by sticking up for tort reform and charter schools and clean coal againt the Dem leadership. Says it's easy to confuse McCain and Bush on spending and finance.
— McCain goes to a subtle playing of the POW card early: "I've got the scars to prove it." True, he wasn't talking about a torture camp, but it's hard to deny the imagery it produces.

• The nasty campaign rhetoric: Will you denounce it?
— McCain says if they had townhall meetings, things wouldn't have gotten so bad. Some "regret," lots of unacceptable words, and then takes Obama to task for not denouncing Congressman John Lewis. "Very unfair, totally inappropriate." Vows for a "truthful" campaign (Ed: Better late than never, I guess). Calls Obama a liar for not accepting matching funds/public campaign financing.
— Obama says "100 percent" of McCain's ads are negative — I don't buy it, but I do buy the notion that McCain and Palin are subtly race-baiting. "Three weeks" of nasty campaigning by McCain is better than "four more years" of Bush-esque policies from McCain. Obama says he looks forward to debating the issues, not the name-calling and guilt-by-association games.
— McCain says Obama's attack ads on McCain's healthcare and immigration policies are untrue, and that his "unprecedented" spending is a fault.
— Obama essentially says Palin is complicit by not stopping the rabid rally attendees. Obama says some things Lewis said were over the line, but not all of it. Blames McCain for the cynicism among Americans when it comes to the political game.
— McCain is "proud" of his rally attendees, even if they threaten to assassinate Sen. Obama. Also, most of them are veterans and beyond reproach, "great citizens."
— Obama says issues must be king to end two wars, the financial crisis and every other issue facing the American people.
— McCain says ACORN is destroying "the fabric of democracy."
— Obama addresses the Ayers connection directly. I don't see how McCain continues to harp on this now — but I think he can win a lot of votes with the ACORN scandal if he tones down his rhetoric. Then Obama tries to deflect the blame from ACORN to the people they hired to register voters — I don't know if this will help, but it's the best he's got, I think. But if he can keep talking about who he does trust (Luger, Biden, etc.), it might hold up.
— McCain keeps saying "all the facts" need to come out on Ayers and ACORN, but that his campaign will focus on finances and our children.

• Why is your VP a better possible president than your opponent's VP?
— Obama says Biden's foreign policy experience is king, he fights for working families and remembers where he comes from. "The little guy." Biden "shares ... core values" with Obama. He really doesn't say a single word about Palin.
— McCain says Palin is "a role model to women and reformers." Tax cutter, took on the good ole boys, "cronyism." Why won't he say "maverick"?
— Obama is asked if Palin is qualified... he won't touch that question with a 50-foot pole (or a Bridge to Nowhere, if I say so myself).
— McCain acknowledges he thinks Biden is qualified, but wrong. That's a lot easier to say than "Sarah Palin doesn't belong anywhere near the White House, let alone a campaign for the White House."

• Energy and Climate Control Change (Thanks, Sen. McCain)
— McCain says we can ween ourselves of Middle Eastern and Venezuelan oil... and that nuclear is perfectly fine — our Navy servicemembers use it to move their ships that carry the planes that Obama says are used for "air-raiding villages and killing civilians." (OK, he didn't say all that right then and there, but he wanted to).
— Obama concurs with McCain's estimate without saying he agrees, but says we have to stop borrowing money from China. OK.... But boost domestic production on lands already owned and "look at" offshore drilling.... BUT WHAT REALLY MATTERS: solar, wind, biodiesel, etc.
— Obama thinks free trade is nice, but it hurts when China plays games with its currency and South Korea beats the pants off us on auto exports one on one.
— McCain calls out Obama on saying he'll consider offshore drilling when we all know he'd rather drink a barrel of crude than give any concessions to the "Drill, Baby, Drill" crowd. Also says free trade creates jobs — he's right, but those jobs are probably in Colombia, not America.
— Obama says free trade must be balanced with protecting foreign workers who get slaughtered by corporate-linked hit squads when they try to organize in Latin America. Also, only helps out Big Auto in Detroit if they're moving toward cleaner, fuel-efficient vehicles to aid in the quest for energy independence and new jobs.
— McCain juxtaposes Obama's dislike of ultra-free-trade agreements and the "no preconditions" diplomacy plan. I don't know if anyone buys it.

• Health Care: What to do?
— Obama says the woes of the current system on everyday Americans will break your heart — and that he won't do anything except try to lower the cost or allow average Americans to buy into a federal pool. Cheaper drugs, less bureaucracy, better chronic illness management and prevention — maybe he does have a plan to fix health care after all.
— McCain agrees the cost is a major problem. Walk-in clinics, fight obesity with physical education and nutrition, gym incentives and his REFUNDABLE $5,000 TAX CREDIT. Essentially tells people to move to Canada or England if they like Obama's single-payer plan.
— Obama says healthcare will become too expensive for most employers under McCain's plan, and then they'll be left with the REFUNDABLE $5,000 TAX CREDIT (and it'll be taxed, too). I'm somewhat surprised McCain hasn't flip-flopped on this yet, because he's losing on it.
— McCain now says Joe the Plumber is rich. I honestly don't know where this is coming from. Congratulations, Joe. Can I bum a $20 off you?
— Both McCain and Obama both smile WAY too much while the other is talking. They respectively look like a high school debater just itching to say something after hearing their opponent fumble an issue. It's smug and slightly arrogant. Ralph Nader and Bob Barr would never do something like that.

• Would either candidate nominate a judge who disagreed with them on abortion?
— McCain said he'd never impose a litmus test, and that he voted for people he didn't totally agree with because they were qualified... and then said Obama voted for Justice Breyer... ummm, errrrr.... (Here's a hint: Obama never had a chance to vote on Justice Breyer. Breyer was appointed in 1994; Obama joined the Senate in 2004).
— Obama acknowledges his stance on abortion rights but doesn't say much about judicial philosophies. He also doesn't take McCain to task on the Breyer vote/non-vote.
— McCain harkens the "Obama voted 'Present' 8 million times in the Illinois statehouse" line. Also says Obama voted against saving the lives of babies of failed abortions.
— Obama says the bill wasn't about saving lives, but undermining Roe v. Wade. Obama may have gone too far into talking about abortion for someone who, by all acounts, could coast to an easy victory. He suggests there's common ground between pro-rights and anti-rights groups — I don't buy it, and I generally think there's always some small bit of common ground between all groups: Israelis and Palestinians, Republicans and Democrats, Hatfields and McCoys.

• FINAL QUESTION: Lots of education spending, lots of education failure — how do we fix it?
— Obama says education is key to economics and national security. How to fix it? Money AND reform. Early-childhood education investments is the starting point. Recruit more teachers, especially math and science, and give them incentives to do well. Make college affordable to produce smarter workers who will innovate.... but PARENTS must work harder.
— McCain says it's "the civil rights issue of the 21st Century." (Sorry, gays who want to get married... but you weren't banking on McCain now, were you?). Charter schools and firing bad teachers will save us. "The school of your choice" and educational "competition" will produce better education, and not "throwing money" at the problem — yet we will somehow "reward" good teachers (With lollipops, I assume).
— Obama says local control is a great tradition, but the federal government must "step up" in funding. Says Bush tried it but didn't give any money with No Child Left Behind (Accountability without rewards — essentially what McCain just said). Obama likes charter schools, he says... interesting. And Obama hates bad teachers... and the idea that vouchers will save us.
— McCain says Obama ignores the success of D.C.-area school vouchers program. McCain says US education is "a system that cries out for accountability." Obviously he doesn't know about No Child Left Behind — but he knows about vouchers, and he says they work.
— Obama says they don't.... it's charter schools that work.

• CLOSING STATEMENTS
— McCain says "America needs a new direction" and that he will differ from the past eight years of the Bush administration, he will take on his own party... He still hasn't said "maverick." Why no "maverick"? I'm starting to lose faith in the idea that he's a "maverick." Says Americans must "trust" the best candidate with their tax dollars. The "Country First" line gets in there, and he invokes his family as reason to vote for him.
— Obama says Washington hasn't been able to reform to prevent the financial crisis we're in. I heard the phrase "fundamental differences" one 1,000 times too many in these debates. He actually asks for people's votes and vows to work tirelessly every day.

• QUICK ANALYSIS
McCain won the debate, but Obama already won the election, even if a couple thousand "Joe the Plumbers" decide to vote for McCain because of tonight. McCain can win thousands of votes and a few states between now and November 4 if he focuses on ACORN and keeps saying that Obama wants to run against President Bush and not Senator McCain.... but it's too little, too late based on my thinking.

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No mention of "flouridation"

The newest attack ad against John McCain -- this time from the League of Conservation Voters -- has a Strangelovean feel to it. It bashes the GOP presidential hopeful for wanting to renegotiate the Colorado River compact to bring more H2O to Arizona and California.

The end of the ad accuses McCain of trying to "take our precious bodily fluids water." This isn't the first time a public official has been involved in a water-stealing scandal.

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"Let's go and get drunk"

School's out forever at least through Tuesday at Grandview High School.

Plenty of students made it out to see the SUV that scored them at least one more day of weekend before classes resume/the building being deemed safe.

My two favorite quotes from the night?

"Let's go home and get drunk." (Ed's note: Wonderfully cliche)

"F**k this, I'm dropping out. I don't feel safe here anymore." (Ed's note: Judging by the size of the homes, the two-mile radius around Grandview High School is still probably the safest part of Aurora, if it really is part of Aurora. I was "welcomed" to the city three times on my way back from Liverpool and Smoky Hill all the way to Alameda and Buckley.)

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Liquidity

Aurora Water's Wemlinger Water Treatment Plant recently won the Excellence in Water Treatment Award from the American Water Works Association.

What does that mean? According to the site, it means they completed the"four phases of the Partnership for Safe Water program." If I knew more about what that meant, I'd let you know. All I know is that my water tastes OK and it hasn't made me sick recently — and this award isn't for clean water, but for the process used to clean it. Maybe I'm splitting hairs here, but it's late and I'm talking about the American Water Works Association — I could just as easily be rambling about toxic chemicals in Chinese chocolate, or how everything "The Onion" prints eventually comes true, or why Scipio Africanus > Hannibal Barca.

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What They're Saying

Aside from Kimbo Slice losing to some kid no one's ever heard of (thanks in large part to the referee interfering), and the latest "SNL" sketc... er, Tiny Fey Love Fest, you should note the Dow Jones Industrial Average lost 800 points today, then somehow regained ground to finish only 300-some points down for the day. I blame it on people waiting for the Dow to hit 9,000 points before they start buying again; in reality, the reasons are myriad and far more complex for any human being to truly understand.

But the brewing political news is the Obama campaign's Keating Five offensive on John McCain:

At the same time, McCain outright called Obama a liar today.
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This should make for a wonderful debate Tuesday night. My best efforts will go into bringing (or attempting to bring) a live blog of the second presidential debate to you, the Sliced Bread reader, in coherent and slightly amusing fashion.

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Better than the original, and vice versa

Nice example of a cover song being better than the original: Rod Stewart's "Handbags and Gladrags" redone by Stereophonics. Experience for yourself:





Of note: The Stereophonics version, as some of you may know, is the theme song for the British version of "The Office." Unfortunately for NBC, the original is still the best when it comes to the TV comedy (but I have to imagine they're laughing all the way to the bank.)

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Live-blogging the VP debate

UPDATE: Looks like people are calling it a tie. Some people say a tie is really a win for Sarah Palin based on the lowered expectations. I'm starting to think the McCain campaign pulled the wool over our eyes by making her look like an idiot in the Katie Couric interviews, only to emerge as semi-coherent during the debate. Now she can go back into her no-questions-please comfort zone from here to November. Joe Biden never got too rough on her, as some pondered. All the TV pundits I heard today suggested undecided voters and registered independents favored Biden over Palin based on the debate, but how that translates into how much they like John McCain or Barack Obama, respectively, remains to be seen in my mind.

8:30: Biden says America's been "dug into a very deep hole" and that Obama-Biden measures progress based on everyday folks, not CEOs.

8:29: Palin says the debate lets her speak straight to the American people, unfiltered and free to the mainstream media's bias.

8:28: Palin says we should work for "the greater good." Add that to the bailout bill, and some folks will start think we're turning into a Leninist state.

8:27: Biden questions judgement, not motives.

8:26: Palin says her biggest regret was not cutting taxes more.

8:25: Biden says he had to change his view on judges based on partisanship... that gives the GOP plenty of ammunition to say Obama/Biden supports "activist judges."

8:22: John McCain something something maverick. Alaska something maverick.

8:19: Sarah Palin says her executive experience and connection to "the heartland of America" will help her be a good vice president — but her ability to quote Ronald Reagan might be her best asset when it comes to winning votes.

8:15: Palin as VP would lead on energy and government reform. Biden as VP would be the cracking whip on Capitol Hill and an adviser.

8:12: Palin just tried to score the memorable line of the night: "Say it ain't so, Joe, there you go again." How long do you think she was waiting to spring that one on the world?

8:07: Palin says "John McCain knows how to win a war." I hope she's not referring to Vietnam.

8:04: Palin invokes John Kerry's flip-flop on the authorization of force in Iraq in attack on Biden.

7:55: Palin acts surprised to hear Biden is a supporter of Israel, and she was just *tickled pink* about that development.

7:54: To both trained and untrained ears, Palin is doing hundreds of times better than her interviews with Katie Couric.

7:51: Half of the e-mails sent out by the McCain campaign to our newsroom during the vice presidential debate... well, our spam filter labeled them as "Junk." Tough critic, these computers, eh?

7:49: Palin says Obama's stance on diplomacy with dictators is "dangerous."

7:48: Sarah Palin just said Gen. Petraeus and the leader of al-Qaida should be trusted equally.

7:47: Biden says Pakistan is the immediate threat, not Iran, then says McCain believes Iraq is more important in the war on terror than Afghanistan and Pakistan.

7:44: Palin is repeating the Biden sound bite about being proud to serve on a McCain ticket and using it as if it's a point of policy debate.

7:43: Palin says the Democrats' plan is "a white flag of surrender."

7:41: Asked about the US exit strategy in Iraq, Palin only attacks Obama's opinion on the troop surge and troop-funding votes, although she does hint the exit plan is to move troops to Afghanistan. (Biden says he "didn't hear a plan" in Palin's response).

7:39: "I'm being as straight-up with the American people as I can." — Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin

7:37: Biden says Obama administration will grant same-sex benefits, invokes constitutional right. Palin says she would not support expanding Alaska's same-sex benefit policy to the rest of the United States.

7:34: Biden attacks McCain's record on alternative energy votes, while Palin counters that "Drill, Baby, Drill" is the GOP's rallying cry.

7:31: "We're not giving oil companies tax breaks." — Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin

7:29: Biden somewhat dodges the bankruptcy bill question, but still touches on it before moving into talking about the subprime crisis. (DIRECT QUOTE: "Your ticket's energy ticket." — Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin)

7:27: Sarah Palin just answered a question about bankruptcy laws without mentioning bankrupty laws at all.

7:24: Palin claims Obama helped pass the energy bills with tax breaks for Big Oil, then goes through her record as a regulator and governor in Alaska (Says she had to "undo" the damage).

7:21: Biden lays out the McCain healthcare credit plan, namely the $7,000 divide between the credit and the average cost of a healthcare plan — then caps it with a "bridge to nowhere" jab at Palin, which the crowd audibly reacts to.

7:19: Sarah Palin, whose familial assets total $1 million, just claimed she's middle class.

7:17: Biden says middle class will be focus in new tax system, while McCain would boost corporate tax breaks.

7:15: Does the Alaskan government do anything? Because it sounds like Sarah Palin cut every tax known to man. Look out: Gwen Ifill cuts Palin off and Palin doesn't keep talking.

7:14: Palin says "the people's side" is tax cuts and that government must learn to "live with less" — and that Barack Obama votes to raise taxes (Biden calls her on it).

7:12: Biden hits on McCain's deregulation philosophy and ties it to healthcare — Joe's sounding very reserved and not nearly as forceful as he usually does.

7:10: Palin says Joe Six-Pack's everywhere need to band together to not get tricked by risky loans and not "be taken advantage of" — a sweet way of saying everyday Americans are, in fact, to blame on some level.

7:09: Palin says America is "craving new energy" — and she doesn't mean renewables.

7:08: Biden plays the "McCain thought the economy was strong" card, while Palin says McCain was referring to American workers, not the American economy.

7:06: Sarah Palin wants us to poll the soccer moms and gauge their "fear," points out Sen. McCain's push to do something about Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and gets the "country first" slogan into her first response.

7:04: Joe Biden blames the economic crisis on an "excess of deregulation" and the eight years of Bush policies, then lays out his candidate's insistence on homeowner relief, oversight, etc.

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Washington is broken...

...or at least its websites are.

I'd like to see Congress add a small appropriation to address the overloading of congressional websites. After numerous claims from people that they could not use their representatives' website to send a comment or concern, I tested it out myself with little success of getting any message to US Rep. Ed Perlmutter of Colorado's 7th District.

Short of wasting some poor office clerk's time on the phone to let Rep. Perlmutter know how I think about the bailout bill awaiting a House vote later this week, there's little way to delivering an immediate constituent sentiment short of going down to a local Perlmutter office and wasting someone else's time during this economic crisis (not to mention an election season, as well).

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Homer votes for Obam... D'oh!

Not sure what this is supposed to mean. Homer Simpson is a well-intentioned idiot. Is his vote for Obama the "well-intentioned" part or the "idiot" part? I have to imagine the Simpsons writers meant the former yet didn't realize they could be insinuating the latter.

Me? I'm waiting to see who Tony Soprano votes for:

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Senate Bailout Debate Scoring Rubrick

If you've been watching or have watched the US Senate's debate on the proposed economic bailout measure, here's how to score the speakers:
• +5 for saying you saw the credit crisis coming, unless you specifically did not.

• +3 for Democrats who invoke Barack Obama's hope for politicians "coming together" to solve the problem.

• +7 for expressing anger, disgust or any other extreme emotion over being forced into voting for such a socialist measure, and then voting for it.

• +20 for Republicans who vote no.

• -10 for not mentioning oversight or taking away CEOs' "golden parachutes."

• +3 for taking the blame off the free market and putting it on greedy Wall Street insiders.

• - 2 for spending most of your speech talking about how long you were on the banking subcommittee or related legislative body.

• EVEN for blaming the other party for not passing the legislation that could have prevented this crisis.

• +3 for saying "Fannie Mae" and "Freddie Mac" at least five times in a speech.

• -3 for saying "Fannie Mac" or "Freddie Mae" at any time.

• +4 for wearing an American flag lapel pin during your speech.

• +3 for justifying going over your time limit because of "the severity of the crisis facing us."

• - 3 for not going over your time limit and diminishing the tension leading up to the vote.

• +5 for invoking the anger of "Main Street" Americans over the bailout of Wall Street.

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Who's laughing now?

Right now, four of the top six videos viewed today on YouTube are related to the Sarah Palin/Katie Couric sketch from the Sept. 27 episode of "Saturday Night Live."

At the same time, the stock markets — already taking a huge hit over the past few weeks — was in freefall today. The Dow Jones Industrial Average lost about 325 points in less than 10 minutes, and any gains made after it bottomed out have since trickled away. The closing bell can't come soon enough. And all of this is over word that the bitterly divided House of Representatives did not pass the financial rescue bill.

While I still don't know definitively how I feel about the bailout plan yet, I have to wonder at what point people begin asking if forgoing the $700-billion plan will be worth it when their retirement accounts dwindle to next to nothing thanks to the markets' woes. Is making this ideological stand against a relatively socialist economic plan in a time of emergency really justifiable when the US Congress and the Bush administration have shredded key parts of the Constitution during the past seven and a half years in the name of national security?

Maybe those statements are a bit harsh, but I don't necessarily endorse them just yet. There's a large part of my being that just wants to say, "Burn, Wall Street, burn," and let's build things back up properly once all the failed financial gambles have come to pass. Maybe then those who play with the markets will do so with less reckless abandon, knowing that there will be no government handout waiting for them, no safety net resting to catch them as they fall from grace.

But whatever the case, these times are almost too serious for us to be caught up with "SNL." And for the record, Tina Fey is easily the most over-rated comedian on television today — and Amy Poehler hasn't been funny since "Upright Citizens Brigade." There, I said it. The hoopla over Fey/Poehler has reached JibJab-ish levels — they could spend all 90 minutes of "SNL" reading a William Makepeace Thackeray novel backwards and in Yiddish and people would still run to their co-workers on Monday morning and exclaim, "Oh my God, did you guys see what they did this week?" Sure, Tina Fey has a great impression and Palin's interview was ripe for parody and/or satire, but sometimes people just get way more credit than they deserve — and that may be the best explanation of why we're in this financial emergency.

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In Case You Missed It...

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Sir! We have a plan!

UPDATE: Looks like the House Republicans finally have something to say and are holding up any deal that exists to be done. I figured these guys would be treated as if they'd gone off the reservation for standing up to the bailout, but apparently John McCain joined them in spirit, using the old "Main Street folks will suffer" line. I know how I feel about the prospects of the federal government bailing out these companies, and I know there's more than a few political leaders who shudder even thinking about enacting that kind of legislation, but I never guessed it would amount to anything. Consider my political radar completely off the mark — but this is coming from someone who thinks John McCain has a very good chance of becoming the next President of the United States. Anywho, enjoy my earlier ramblings and the "Strangelove" clip.

So the cream of our political crop has done something today in regards to the "serious economic crisis" facing the United States.

If anyone can explain to me what actually got accomplished today, I'd appreciate it.

Here's a list of verbage I've heard or seen for what's been achieved:

• A "tentative accord"
• A "tentative meltdown deal"
• An "agreement in principle"
• A "rough outline"
• A "framework"
• A "rescue plan"

What does it all mean, Basil? It means that Bush, McCain, Obama, Pelosi, Boehner and Reid all got together to make sure everyone was clear on one subject: Everyone will secretly hate the bailout plan but ultimately push it through, swearing not to call any political rivals for their support of it despite everyone thinking its the most socialist act by the federal government since The New Deal era.

Still confused? The bailout package, whatever it ends up being labeled, is the new Patriot Act. Everyone will vote for it without really reading it as thoroughly as they should. It will be heralded as an unquestionable piece of legislation that only a communist would dare think about pondering its worth. Then in a few months when the obvious flaws of the plan come to light, half the politicians involved will renounce it a la voting for the authorization of force in Iraq — the administration duped us, the intel was bad, everyone else did it, etc.

So how should you proceed in this new political landscape while the US economy remains in turmoil? The photo at the top of this post should give you an idea:

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My 10-Point Bailout Plan

1. All executives from bailed-out investment banks will be forced to work in seafood restaurants and dress like pirates.

2. To curb excesses, employees of bailed-out institutions will now be paid according to the federal General Schedule, just like their friends at the Securities Exchange Commission.

3. Alan Greenspan will be barred from speaking publicly until he leaves this plane of existence.

4. John McCain will no longer play the POW card in regards to anything remotely related to economics. In return, Barack Obama and Democrats will stop reminding people that McCain, as late as last Monday, believed "the fundamentals of our economy are strong."

5. Presidential candidates who suspend their campaigns less than two months before the general election must forfeit all fundraising to legally restart the race. All funds raised to that point will be used to pay off campaign debts, with any surplus going to pay down the national debt.

6. Treasury Secretary Henry "Hank" Paulson will switch places with former Treasury chief Robert Rubin, putting Rubin back into politics and Paulson as head of Citigroup. Richard Rubin will continue appearing in music videos while wearing fur coats and hanging out with Vincent Gallo.

7. A group of national legislators and journalists, to be named at a later date, will take turns satisfying former President Bill Clinton's ego by asking him his opinion on everything.

8. George W. Bush will be required to have whomever wrote his Sept. 24 primetime address to the nation be his full-time speech writer from now until when either of them leaves this plane of existence.

9. David Letterman will start being funny again.

10. The FreeCreditReport.com Guy and the old Ditech.com Loan Guy will fight in a Death Match. The proceeds of the betting on said Death Match will benefit lifting Wall Street from the brink of collapse.

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Poor choice of words

A "financial Pearl Harbor"?
Really, Warren Buffett?
While the financial crisis in the United States has already shown what it can do to the investment banks and how its effects are resonating with investors, is it really fair or prudent to call this a "financial Pearl Harbor"?
Let's examine:

• If he means to suggest we could have seen it coming and should have done something more to prevent it or at least mitigate the damages, I'd say he's right.
• If he means to suggest that it was precipitated by actions by the United States or US agents, he might be right.
• If he means to suggest it will draw us into a larger conflict, I don't follow.
• If he means to suggest the Japanese are behind our economic failings, I say he's still living in Ronald Reagan's America.

Is this a warning from Buffett? Is the current economic situation just the start of something even bigger? That's what his allusion would suggest. While a federal bailout of numerous US financial institutions constitutes a sea change in US policy, I don't know if it is historically analogous to the attack on Pearl Harbor.

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Quick Hits

• Is the Palin e-mail hack just further evidence of how a McCain-Palin administration will turn over vital functions of the government (such as private communications) to private companies?


• With only a handful of investment banks still standing independently of a bankruptcy filing or a government bailout, is a Morgan Stanley-Wachovia deal next?


• How should Joe Biden feel about getting so little press these days when the attention given to GOP rival Sarah Palin skews far more negative than positive? I say I've got a debate to watch on Oct. 2 in St. Louis. (P.S. - Invite Wayne Allyn Root, Colorado's own Brian Rohrbough and Rosa Clemente just for skits and giggles).


• God save Levi Johnston. (And for the record, Maher loses me when he starts talking religion. If anyone say Friday's "Real Time," you noticed than self-proclaimed Britwit Andrew Sullivan lead the charge against Maher on his own show when the host started to promote his new film, "Religulous." I guess he got tired of will.i.am just sitting there, trying to look like he was enjoying the rhetorical banter and secretly bemoaning the fact he'd have a hard time taking the transcript of the show and turning it into a viral video hit.)
  


• Worth reading and certainly worth disagreeing with is this post from Wizbang, which essentially says the backlash against fervent, left-wing bloggers and other online commenters will galvanize support for John McCain and Sarah Palin. There are some interesting statistics in the article, but how they truly add up to support this argument is beyond me. Take note of this excerpt: "[t]here are Republican trolls as well as Democrat trolls, and Conservative trolls just as there are Liberal trolls, though it does seem to me that the Liberal variety breed a lot more."

Really? Also, don't forget Trig, Levi and the as-yet-to-be-named Bristol baby.

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Madden Curse Reversed

I'm calling it: The Madden curse has been lifted.

Maybe the Football Gods misfired when they sent Bernard Pollard crashing into Tom Brady's left knee and leaving him with a season-ending anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) tear.
Was that bit of misfortune intended for fellow AFC East offensive general Brett Favre?

At this point, it seems as if all quarterbacks are getting a dose of damnation; perhaps the Football Gods are angry at their erroneous dispatching of Brady and taking it out on the rest of the league. For example:

• Brody Croyle will miss a week with a shoulder injury.
• Cowboys QB Tony Romo took one on the chin in their Week 1 win.
• Chad Pennington was forced to endure a loss at the hands of his old team.
• Titans QB Vince Young has something wrong with him.
• Jeff Garcia's ankle is questionable for next week.
• Peyton Manning ended Sunday night with a lower QB rating than Kyle Orton.
• The Rams' Marc Bulger looked as bad as he ever has in Week 1.

So look out, NFL quarterbacks. The odds are against you; if Brady can't be healthy, no one is safe.

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Show us what you got, Sarah

I'm feeling bad, because I know I didn't devote as much venom to the Democrats as I'm currently sending in the GOP's direction, but I find the following needs saying on my part:



Being on a winning high school basketball team doesn't qualify you for higher office.
Marrying your high school sweetheart doesn't make you a good leader.
Having values doesn't make you a proven agent of change.

I don't want to say Sarah Palin is unqualified to be a candidate for vice president. She may very well be eminently qualified, but the Republicans aren't saying much about the things that make Gov. Palin a good choice to join John McCain on the campaign trail as a prospective member of the Executive Branch.

The conservative pundits in the above video clip have identified it as both "narrative" politics and "gimmicky." I can't say I disagree. I look forward to learning about where the candidates stand on the issues, not how many kids they have or how many kids their kids have.

Let's make public the same info John McCain used in picking her for the GOP ticket for the public to decide whether she and McCain are worthy of our votes.

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McCain: What might have been

If only John McCain had joined the Air Force.
Right now they're playing Kenny Loggins' "Highway to the Danger Zone," one of the pinacles of the "Top Gun" soundtrack.
Add in the fact he's considered a "maverick" in the political arena, and you'll find yourself with a couple of RNC organizers who feel really slick about their clever tune right now.

By the way, supporters of John "McNasty" McCain have given up their "Country First" and "Prosperity" signs for Thursday night's festivities and taken up "Peace" signs... how soon they want to see that peace occur remains to be seen. It might take a while to bring home our troops from Iraq with victory, as McCain consistently has pledged.

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The measure of a celebrity

OK, John McCain can play the POW card all he wants, but the whole "celebrity" knock on Obama officially died tonight with John Rich bringing his latest tune to the RNC stage.

When someone writes a song about you and there's a music video for that song, you can't claim to be the simple, plain-talkin' public servant who doesn't need Hollywood or pop stars to make the case for your campaign.

I present for you now, "Raisin' McCain" and "Yes We Can" in their full glory:

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It comes down to this

Enough with the conventions, the speeches, the looming debates and the negative ads.
Let's settle this with a game of HORSE for the presidency.
Barry "O'Bomber" Obama vs. Sarah "Barracuda" Palin.
I will pay good money to see it happen.

UPDATE — Just a few quick thoughts about Wednesday night at the RNC:

• Linda Lingle, governor of Hawaii, played the POW card during her speech. She remarked that John McCain was suited to lead because he understands "hardship" like few others can. It's true that McCain spent years in a POW camp, but the "hardship" Lingle was referring to was economic hardship facing millions of American families today. In this respect, it's not quite known what kinds of hardships Senator McCain has faced.

• Mike Huckabee won my respect again for saying John McCain was his "second choice" for president. You've gotta love someone having the fortitude to say something like that after the GOP threw Huck, Romney and Ron Paul under the bus to make McCain their man.

• I'm pretty sure Rudy Giuliani ad libbed his speech (few scripted references to "9/11") — and it probably suits him better. Why? I won't say — but if I did, it would be with a terrible lisp.

• Cindy McCain seems to have adopted the Palins as her own family after ignoring her own half-sister.

More later following Sarah Palin's speech.

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Watching the old dog's new tricks

"He will win who, prepared himself, waits to take the enemy unprepared."

— Sun Tzu

Forget Barack Obama's rock-star status or the media frenzy that surrounded the Democratic primary contest that kept Hillary Clinton supporters on the edges of their seats for about three months longer than they should have.
The Republican Party is the one with the real energy.
It's the Grand Old Party that's turning heads and hitting hard with the element of surprise.

Let's start with the nominee: Sen. John McCain, who was all but written off after the Iowa caucuses, somehow managed to dispatch up-and-coming conservative heavyweights Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee, in large part thanks to one-time frontrunner Rudy Giuliani failing epically by focusing all his attention on Florida and then throwing his support behind McCain at a critical juncture.

Move ahead a few months and Obama is the clear winner in the Democratic primaries. Ever the soldier (as his campaign will have you believe), McCain and the conservative crowd went on the offensive, coming out early and negative against Obama. For a campaign that was over-matched in fundraising versus the Democrats' standard bearer, it was a bold move to spend so much so soon.

Move forward again to Friday, Aug. 28. Fresh on the heal of Obama's primetime speech at Invesco Field, McCain pulls off the biggest surprise of the year (and likely of his political career) in naming Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin — runner-up in the Miss Alaska pageant, a former sportscaster and mother to an unmarried, pregnant 17-year-old daughter — as his running mate, only the second time in US history a woman has been on a major-party presidential ticket.

Take a slight step forward to the Republican National Convention, as organizers essentially scrap the first day's schedule in light of Hurricane Gustav in the Gulf Coast region. A day later, Giuliani was removed as keynote speaker for Tuesday's festivities; instead, the evening was turned over to actor Fred Thompson (a former US Senator) and current US Senator Joe Lieberman to rally the gathered throngs for McCain as staged photos of the GOP nominee-in-waiting played on the large video screen behind them like the professionally designed PowerPoint presentation it was. Did Giuliani do something wrong to be bumped? Probably not; he likely just wasn't macho enough to hammer home the evening's message (Which is saying a lot when you consider the alternative is Joementum).

So what's the next surprise in store for the GOP to keep us all guessing and steal the spotlight away from Obama-Biden `08? Some have speculated that Palin will be forced to withdraw from the campaign a la Thomas Eagleton thanks to all the dirt that's been revealed about her family, her governorship and just about anything you can think of that would be potentially harmful to one's political career. This way, McCain enjoys the benefits of having nominated a woman without actually seeing her through the general election. I hate to be crass, but this wouldn't be the first time the senator has committed to a woman and left her for someone else.

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