Dear People of Los Angeles

I recently learned of a change in a custodial agreement made in your fair city.
Jamie Spears, father of former pop princess and current burnout Britney Spears, is now to be paid $75 an hour to handle her affairs.
Ladies and gentleman, I will gladly enlist the help of two colleagues. Together, you will have a trio of trouble-shooters who feel no familial attachment to Ms. Spears. Additionally, we'd gladly split a $50-an-hour salary.
On top of this, we will see to it Ms. Spears never produces another comeback album for music critics to waste time panning and people with no taste to waste their money on.
Sure, this may cause a problem for the music industry, but we can always take brief vacations in which Ms. Spears is assured to raise enough hell to sell enough tabloids and magazines at grocery and retailer checkout lanes to more than make up for it.
In lieu of a $1,200 monthly payment to maintain an office, how about $600 to lease and fuel two mid-range vehicles to keep tabs on Ms. Spears?
I'm not good with math, but I have to imagine this scenario would be cheaper than the $16,000 being shelled out by you good people to corral and promote a washed-up pop star who would do well to find the phone number of a producer willing to make Ms. Spears center square on a new incarnation of "Hollywood Squares."
I await your response, Los Angeles.