The sins of the son

How is anyone supposed to pick a decent political candidate these days? The flip-flopping done by John McCain and Barack Obama are enough to drive a man to vote Libertarian, or worse: Ralph Nader.
With fewer discernible differences between the candidates these days, I have devised an easy way to decide who to vote for: Whose kid has the classiest social networking profile.
This comes upon news that US Senate candidate Bob Schaffer (R-Colo.) is being harangued because his son, Justin Schaffer, posted some images on his Facebook profile that most people who don't use Facebook would find offensive.
That is to say, Justin Schaffer — a college student — did what most college students (and young adults) do these days: Outfit their online presence with bits of humor that are geared toward young adults. The risqué, bawdy and ribald are all fair game on MySpace, Facebook and other social networking sites — and all are great fodder for trying to smear a political candidate with children or relatives somewhere in their teens and early 20s.

Schaffer the Younger, in particular, had images loaded into his 'Bumper Sticker' application that expressed a unique brand of conservative Republican humor:
• Suggesting Barack Obama is gay and that he bears an uncanny resemblance to Count Chocula.
• Envisioning Jesus Christ as a gun-toting businessman, draped in the Confederate flag.
• Reveling in the idea that wonders such as the Egyptian pyramids were accomplished through the use of slave labor.
• Advocating motorists work harder to mow down slow children.
• Remind people of how funny Jeff Dunham's horribly racist "dead terrorist" puppet is.

Is no one going to get outraged by the photo of two pieces of halo-adorned crap fornucating (Labeled "Holy f----ing sh-t")? How about the photoshopped image of Barack Obama in Arab garb? Or the animated penis from "South Park"?

While it's a horribly over-used excuse, but kids will be kids. It's just a matter of knowing what is acceptable and what's out of bounds. A bunch of 16-year-olds getting smashed at a kegger and then driving 90 mph in residential areas in between make-out sessions with community college dropouts is something to come down on hard. A bunch of stupid college humor posted on a college student's Facebook profile? It's nothing more than a small piece in a cheap political game being played by people too embroiled in getting someone elected to see what really matters in this world.

Where's Morgan Freeman when you need him?

By the way, how is one to assess this bit of humor from the Adams County Republicans? Better or worse than Schaffer the Younger's Facebook flap?

"Dear Abby,
I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas, who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth. One of my sisters lives in Pflugerville and is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas. I have two brothers: one is currently serving a life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview. She is a part time 'working girl'.

All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. My question is: Should I tell her about my son who supports Barack Obama for President?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation!"