Dem Veepstakes Ver. 3.0: The Shortlist

I'm narrowing down ole Senator Obama's choices to occupy the Naval Observatory and break ties in the Senate. I've ditched the odds because they change too often and I don't want to be made a fool of when another prospective VP declares he/she won't accept the nod:

Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine: White? Check. Virginian? Check. Catholic? Check. Speaks Spanish? Sí. Others need not apply, says the political currents.

Former Sen. John Edwards: Has to refute tabloid rumors if he's to stand a chance.

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson: Friendly, but doesn't help as much as once thought.

Ret. General Wesley Clark: Too close to the Clintons to serve Obama outright?

US Senator Chuck Hagel: Ultimately hinges on if the DNC can live with a GOP VP.

Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius: No. No. No. Really, what did she do for all this buzz other than campaign for Obama? McCain might win Kansas by a bigger margin if she's on the ticket.

US Senator John Kerry: Enough flip flops to outfit every Olympic athlete's foot thrice over.

US Senator Hillary Clinton: Just kidding, Hils. Try to look happy come convention time.