Those We Lost in 2007: Boots Randolph

Possibly one of the saddest celebrity deaths of the past year:

Boots Randolph, 1927 - 2007

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'Tis the season

The list goes on and on and on...
I woke up at the crack of 8 a.m. on Black Friday, long after all the bargain hunters had stormed various retailers and shopping outlets, fueled by $5 coffee drinks, for $600 plasma TVs and $50 robotic dinosaurs they would haul away in their $40,000 SUVs.
It's been almost a decade since I've braved the early morning crowds for post-Thanksgiving shopping. I don't care to repeat that experience any time soon.
With that said, I have quite a bit of holiday shopping left to do.
Plus, the wife and I still need to settle the "real versus manufactured" debate over this year's Christmas tree.
Then there's the baking, wrapping, merry-making, etc.
Before it's all over, it might get fairly expensive. To recoup these costs, I'm selling the following holiday gift ideas for the rich and famous:
• For Howard K. Stern, the former love interest and attorney to Anna Nicole Smith: A date with Britney Spears.
• For Ben Bernanke, chairman of the Federal Reserve Board: Props for keeping the credit-crunched, China-syndromed economy from completely collapsing.
• For all the 2008 presidential hopefuls: A John Kerry mixtape to help them avoid electoral missteps.
• For Barry Bonds, embattled MLB slugger: Mountains of steroids and cigarettes he can sell to pay protection in prison.
• For Britney Spears: An assortment of wigs, a three-pack of panties and a stack of Dr. Spock books.
• For the MLB seasonal awards voters: A smack across the lips for not a single major honor given to a member of the Colorado Rockies after an unbelievable season and playoff run.
• For the people of Aurora: A water usage rate that makes sense and doesn't bankrupt customers come June and July.
• For Sen. Larry Craig: Posture lessons.
• For the Bush administration: Lots of boxes and packing tape.
• For Bill Clinton: A break from campaigning for Hillary, more time to spend working with old pal George H.W. Bush.
• For everyone else: A library card and a couple of restful hours next to a fire, sipping on the beverage of choice.

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Ode to 'Vegas and Food'

Inspired in large part by one of my wife's favorite blogs, Vegas and Food, I decided to bust out my camera phone while dining at 4G's on Friday night so that I can share the experience with a lot more people than were initially there. We started with fries topped with vegetarian green chile; I had the carne adovado while my wife had cheese enchilladas drenched in the veggie green chile. We finished the meal with sopapilla a la mode.
I was surprised from the get-go from seeing a sign up front touting the vegetarian green chile... I'm not a vegetarian, and neither is my wife... but the extent of her willingness to dine on little animals is limited to chicken, turkey and other nasty birds. Me? I have no problem with dining on Wilbur.

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Far from the madding crowd

I don't like grocery shopping. I like eating. These two factors often conflict with each other.
But last night, I somehow made the drudgery of acquiring my goods far more enjoyable.
I went shopping at night.
I may just have been the best experience in a grocery store I've ever had.
I'm not what you would call agoraphobic -- I just prefer a well-ordered, well-mannered group of people versus a mass of people awkwardly and randomly bumping into one another while racing around with big metal carts and screaming children. I find that's a good comparison of being at Wal-Mart around midnight versus noon.
By the time I reached the canned goods aisle, I wanted nothing more to sit down right there and meditate... Enjoy the silence. I imagine this is what it's like on the moon, except with a lot more pumpkin pie. My own little Sea of Tranquility, and chick peas are on sale.
It also is heartening to see the people working at the store doing something vital and important, and not being forced to deal with an ever-growing line of normal, everyday Americans turned into a tine-crunched, short-tempered troop of bargain hunters on the verge of madness.
I can't say I find much wrong with Wal-Mart, the idea. The super-chain certainly has its detractors these days, and in some instances their complaints are valid. However, my recent experience there made me nostalgic for more of what I saw: a store and its workers quietly doing their job while consumers politely and patiently strolled the aisles in search of goods.
Find me any grocer that can deliver that between the hours of 12 and 6 p.m. and I'll show you my new favorite place to shop; for now, I may just stick with getting groceries overnight.

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The importance of being handy

I like things that work.
Call me crazy, but as intriguing it may be to take something apart and learn how something works, I have far better uses for my time than spending hours fixing something, or (for the things beyond my capabilities) waiting for them to be fixed.
My townhome has been plagued with any number of problems since I moved in just a few months ago, starting with the lack of air conditioning for about a month in summer. Since then, the issues have included a cracked bathtub, a cracked oven knob, a cracked toilet cover, poor wiring for the phone and cable jacks, a horrifically placed electrical outlet just inches from the kitchen faucet and then some.
But the roof hasn't leaked (yet) and the electricity is on all the time, so I find it hard to complain too much — this blog post notwithstanding.
But it makes me appreciate my car a lot more when I put it all in perspective.
The sporty little Pontiac has been in my possession since the summer of 2000. Aside from a small repair to the wiring, minor scares from the 'Check Engine' light (nothing serious) and the inevitable oil changes and tire replacements one incurs over the course of 76,000-plus miles, the car has held up well so far.
I try not to drive it over long distances anymore (that's what our new gas-guzzling monstrosity is for), but every day it starts up with no problems. While it will be a sad day when that's no longer the case, I love my car and it returns my affection with a headache-free day when it comes to automotive matters.

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'Remember When'

For someone in their mid-20s who's job involves the day-to-day, current events of the world, I'm intensely concerned with the past. Sue me — I was a history major.
But the one thing I've recently come to enjoy is playing 'Remember When,' in which I have reconnected with a number of my old friends and regale them with tales of Las Vegas, marriage, sometimes both simultaneously.
I've never been one to keep in close contact with the people I know but with whom I don't live under the same roof. Moving to Germany at sixth grade limited contact with relatives and friends to occasional phone calls, letters and even audio tapes. But I don't blame my moving around as an Army brat for that — I am the one who rarely keeps in touch.
Heck, I bet if you ask my folks about the issue, they'll likely respond, "Chris?!? He's alive!!?!?" (Don't worry, Mom and Dad — we'll be home for Thanksgiving).
It's not for lack of a venue. No one has an excuse these days with e-mail, iPhones and whatever else you can purchase to make avoiding contact with other human beings completely impossible.
I'm even on two social networking sites (Facebook, MySpace) in addition to this blog and my phone and e-mail, but I don't think I use those sites of social networking so much as amusing myself by posting Halloween pictures and adding cool songs and photos to my profiles.
Really, the social networking aspect of those social networking sites, for me at least, is for my friends to contact me.
I've reconnected with a number of college friends recently, and I can't imagine any 10-, 20- or 30-year reunion could be as fun. The memories of what I've done recently are still quite fresh in my mind... will I remember being electrocuted in the kitchen of my townhome 10 years from now? Come to think of it, do I remember any of it right now?
I'm showing my age when I say that 2001 to 2004 were "the good ole days" — they're certainly not that bit of the Roarin' Twenties as pictured at the top of this post.
But I'm starting to realize that the years I've spent since graduating from college have been just as good (for the most part) as those spent roaming around campus for almost four years.
A recent exchange with a friend revealed to yours truly some cool moments in my life as of late: Moving to Colorado, vacationing in Vegas and the Caribbean, getting married, having Prince play my bachelor party (kinda, sorta), and discovering I'm the Best Uncle Ever.
All this said, maybe I'm waiting to reconnect with my friends until I have stories worth telling them, making sure they're entertained with the recollections of my time on this plane of existence.
So get off my back! I'll call you back someday, but right now I'm living.

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