Thursday, October 25, 2007

J'attaque

I've recently rekindled a favorite pastime of mine: variations of the board game known as RISK. The latest incarnation of the game I've fallen in love with is ATTACK, an online, multiplayer version available via the social networking site Facebook.com.

In the past, I've been relegated to playing against my family members, constantly trying to prove to my father that securing Australia is NOT the best strategy, or forging informal truces and alliances with and against my siblings, venturing beyond the official set of rules to trade cards for snacks and promises of chores to be done.

Just earlier today, however, I played against a quite diverse cast of characters, including a college student logging in from his laptop during lecture hall and a chap from London who took exception to my tactics. It's live, digital and capable of sufficiently trash-talking and expanding the rules ever so slightly.

And I love it.

My strategy? I've always liked forming an informal truce with the strongest player in North America while securing South America and moving into Africa and Europe from there. It doesn't always work, but it's interesting to see each permutation. It's like watching the World Series of Poker on ESPN each year. I can't count high enough to signify how many different ways I've seen someone playing Texas Hold 'Em start with Ace-King or pocket Jacks and end with some odd collection of community cards.

But there's no reason I should like Risk and similar games. Just like poker, you cannot win on skill alone. It is still very much a gamble, with each roll of the dice this becomes clearer. I suppose it makes winning that much more fun — either through sheer luck or by controlling as many variables possible, winning means world domination, if only at the board-game level.

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Monday, October 22, 2007

Torment

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Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Ike for Dummies

Be sure to check out this week's Pulse section in the Aurora Sentinel Weekend and Home editions for my review of Michael Korda's Ike: An American Hero.
I highly recommend it for those unfamiliar with Eisenhower or his generation. It's not exactly the CliffsNotes take on the 34th president and five-star general, but it's close.
For history buffs and World War II enthusiasts, it rehashes much of what you already know. The book also skips over much of Eisenhower's time in the White House.
As I suggest in the review, seek out the voluminous works of Stephen Ambrose — Eisenhower's official biographer — for the definitive word on Ike.
And if you're ever in Kansas, be sure to check out the Presidential Library and Museum in Abiene. It's an incredible place, with five buildings spread out over 22 acres, and will give you further insight into Ike.

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This is the way the world ends...

In the first two decades of my life, I remember dozens of visits to the farm my paternal grandparents owned in Wheatland, Mo. The old farmhouse was relegated to storage space by the time I was old enough to remember anything, while the old folks lived in an adjacent trailer — the space just in front of the ramp for my grandmother's wheelchair was home plate for many a game of baseball, kickball and softball; the well was first base, the big tire-turned-sandbox was third.
While they had a television set and rabbit-ear antenna, this was my conception of the country. The dirt road wound for a few miles before pavement, and the paved road took even further before you got to the closest town.
We never ate anything like Hardee's Country Breakfast Burrito while there.


Here's the stats: 920 calories, 60 grams of fat (just five short of the suggested daily intake) and hours of digestional regret. As you can see, the question we should ask is, "What ISN'T in the Country Breakfast Burrito?" But I'll answer to what is in it: "Two egg omelets filled with bacon, sausage, diced ham, cheddar cheese, hash browns and sausage gravy, all wrapped inside a flour tortilla," according to AP reports.

Now I'm not saying I've never eaten all of those items at the same meal before — I'm sure there's at least one buffet in Vegas where I decided I wanted to gorge until I had enough potential energy to last me through the whole day.

I am committed to seeking out the closest Carl's Jr. tomorrow (Thursday, Oct. 18) and subjecting myself, a la Morgan Spurlock, to the horror that is the Country Breakfast Burrito. I anticipate eating nothing but this, water and a salad throughout the entire day.

Wish me luck. If I die, I bequeath all the fame this blog has brought me to Joe Estevez, who is supremely underrated.

UPDATE: I have been unable to find a Carl's Jr. serving the Country Breakfast Burrito. Keep watching this space for further news.

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Monday, October 15, 2007

The Rockies win the pennant

I'll never be able to show my face at Kauffman Stadium again.
I'm sorry, my long-suffering Royals, but my loyalty for the next two weeks is with the NL-best Colorado Rockies.
All I ask is that the rest of my fellow Denver fans express their incredible joy for the Rockies' berth in the World Series in a constructive, nonviolent fashion.
Let's savor this... all those nail-biters, all those late games on the West Coast, all those days with fingers crossed for the Rockies to stay in contention for the wild card...
We are witnessing history in the making, and few things are more magical that Major League Baseball in October — the Fall Classic. Let's go Rockies!
And forgive me, Royals.

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Thursday, October 11, 2007

Stop Hitting Yourself or How The Conservatives Learn To Stop Worrying And Love Mitt Romney


It's a contradiction of the anti-contradictory crowd.
America seems to loathe, with 100 percent of its being, politicians who change their minds over the years on the issues.
Does this ring a bell: "I actually did vote for the $87 billion before I voted against it."
That one sentence lost the 2004 presidential election for John Kerry, more so than the Swift Boat Veterans smear campaign or any other tool of rhetoric lobbed at the Senator from Massachusetts.
People just could not reconcile the fact that John Kerry took seemingly different stances on the same issue over time.
That's right, Mitt Romney, we're getting to you right now.
The former governor of Massachusetts (what is it about the Northeast, anyway?) and most recognizable Mormon in America beyond Warren Jeffs (albeit a fundamentalist cult leader) and Bill Paxton (who plays one on TV), Romney has taken aim at a group running a campaign ad he doesn't particularly care for?
The culprits: The Log Cabin Republicans, a grassroots organization of gay and lesbian rights supporters who also like small government, etc.
Their recent campaign ad, which I caught while stomaching the Fox News Channel this week, takes Romney's statements from the past ("youthful indiscretions," maybe?) before he cozied up to the far-right end of the political spectrum and uses them to paint the picture of Romney as a moderate -- the implication being Romney has flip-flopped on the issues now that he has found a home with the anti-choice, anti-gun control crowd.
See for yourself:

It just makes me wonder if a public that seems so fed-up with President George W. Bush (who has been deemed "dead certain" in his convictions by some) and his refusal to rethink the course of action in Iraq, that Mitt Romney's ability to re-evaluate the issues and take a stand against his former self would seem like a breath of fresh air.
When things go wrong, is the fear of having a "flip-flopper" in the Oval Office so great that we maintain the status quo? The people who are most fond of saying "9/11 changed everything" want no change at all, it seems.
You'd be hard-pressed to find a conservative GOP presidential candidate this year more in tune with the hard-right values permeating the country currently than Mitt Romney; Fred Thompson would rank up there if I could take him seriously.
Romney's in a bad situation as his campaign labels his own words as a personal negative attack against him... I feel they're too timid to be as unabashed as Kerry was about the change of heart.
It's a shame... the Log Cabin Romney sounded a lot better than most of the GOP presidential hopefuls I've listened to thus far.

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About This Blog

The once and future savage outpost for my semi-meaningful thoughts and monologues that are too long for Twitter and not good enough to be sprawled across the front page of every major metropolitan newspaper in America with 120-pt. headlines. Also, the occasional diversion via YouTube.

Meditate On This

Most of the great artists never live to see their work truly appreciated on a global scale... Vincent van Gogh. Johann Sebastian Bach. Keyboard Cat.

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