Sliced Bread

What's Wiki-able?

2010-02-22T09:30:00.000-08:00

From time to time I like to keep tabs on how users of the Internet (especially those in positions of power in the non-virtual world) interact with and manage content on Wikipedia. Obviously a popular site relied upon by many for public knowledge is intriguing enough, lest we forget that anyone with web access can edit it as they see fit.

I noticed today that someone by the alias 'Aurorapio' had gone through and done a substantial amount of editing on the Wikipedia entry for the city of Aurora, Colorado. They were good edits that provided a wider understanding of the city, its neighborhoods, its history and much more. [EDIT: I had a nice chat with Julie Patterson at the city, who confirmed she spent the time adding to the city's page. I'll tell you what I told her: Having a photo of Buckley AFB is probably a better representation of Aurora than the decades-old photo of Fitzsimons that previously inhabited that space.]

It was some good housekeeping on what is usually one of the top three search-engine results that pop up when people search for information on Aurora. In fact, it's good to think someone on the municipal payroll thinks about the city's online presence beyond the official website. Visitors of the Wiki page will be better off for those edits.

But then there's the other side of that coin: What's fair game regarding less-than-flattering information on Wikipedia?

Take, for example, former state Rep. Michael Garcia, who served Colorado's 42nd House district from 2001 to 2008. His Wikipedia page includes plenty of biographical information about his education and public service, including measures he sponsored and supported during various legislative sessions.

Former Rep. Garcia is also notable for why he left office: Garcia resigned in 2008 following accusations made by a female lobbyist that Garcia had exposed himself to her at a Denver bar. Garcia disputed the media reports at the time but did not deny that the incident happened (in a press release (PDF), Garcia stated "the other party and I engaged in consensual conduct that was inappropriate given my position in the legislature").

So the question is: Is it pertinent for the online encyclopedia to contain information about Garcia's exit from the legislature? For the time being, Garcia is a private citizen; whether he decides to return to a public profile on scale with what he once had remains to be seen.

According to Wikipedia user 'Repgarica,' the answer is no.

In June 2009 and December 2009, user 'Repgarcia' took great care to edit or delete references to the scandal and Garcia's subsequent resignation.

Lots of people (especially elected officials) are haunted for years by tales of misdeeds, alleged or assured. That's not necessarily the main issue here. The bigger issue at hand is our general reliance on information like that found on Wikipedia. We can have extremely detailed examinations of the lives of public figures (take the gargantuan Wiki page for Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor, for example) alongside pages for people like Garcia, which you could argue contain a few sins of omission.

In the end, there is still need for independent voices that check facts and vet sources before publishing. Wikipedia would not exist without them (the online encyclopedia's own guidelines state various standards must be met for a citation to be considered reliable).

You say you want a revolution...

2010-02-19T09:51:00.000-08:00

The Tea Party movement is good for America and democracy worldwide.

I think that statement probably comes as a bit of a shock to some of my acquaintances, but I’d like to think people who have a rudimentary understanding of how my mind works would read this, think for two seconds and slowly begin nodding their heads as they piece together the reasoning.

For those of you not as in tune with my intellectual wrangling, let me explain:

For starters, let’s make a clear distinction between the Tea Party movement as a whole and various sub-sects (such as Glenn Beck’s 9.12 Project, which I’ve previously lambasted for co-opting the harrowing imagery of the Sept. 11 terror attacks). Every political cause will have its extremists, demagogues and “bomb-throwers.” For every Tax Day protesters waving an illustration of Barack Obama as a Nazi, there’s undoubtedly someone on the far left who thinks every single last Republican in Congress is a closet member of the Ku Klux Klan.

And I hold out no hope that I’ll ever find a political candidate or group with whom I agree 100 percent; suffice it to say, this is no endorsement of the specific tenets of the Tea Party movement’s platform.

What I wholeheartedly endorse is the sense of personal empowerment that these people have found and how the vast majority of them are operating within the proper channels to bring about real change.

Case in point: Joseph Andrew Stack flew a plane into a building, in part an act of protest. He took the life of an innocent person in the process. That is unjustifiable.

I’ve read his “suicide note.” Within his writing, you hear many of the same frustrations concerning the U.S. government and its tax code from myriad members of groups affiliated with the Tea Party movement. As far as I’m concerned, I’d rather not see taxpayer-owned federal buildings go up in a jet-fueled blaze. I’m for peace. I’m for life. As far as I’m concerned, Stack’s actions do constitute a terrorist attack. Stack is no hero for destroying property and taking lives (including his own) toward an ideological end.

I think I already met my quota of “nice things to say about right-wing politics” this year with the first sentence of this post, but I’ll go ahead and get next year’s out of the way with something Sean Hannity would certainly agree with: The United States of America is the greatest experiment in democracy our modern world has seen.

As untenable as reform may be in Washington, D.C., the power of the individual is often forgotten when incumbents, parties, corporations and other interests seem to dictate so much of how our government and our lives are run. We’re a nation where Jesse Ventura and Arnold Schwarzenegger, for better or worse, can be considered political heavyweights. We’re a nation where Ned Lamont can wreak as much havoc as he can in the political establishment on behalf of the progressive voices of Connecticut. Even you – yes, YOU – can make your case for why you’re the best person for whatever elected office you feel best-suited for (barring residency and age restrictions; no rain checks).

You get the picture.

If you pay any attention to politics or law in this country, you should be angry or frustrated – and that applies to people of every political persuasion. Where you go with those feelings and beliefs is what separates the true agents of change and the terrorists.

So let’s hear what you have to say, whatever it is. I’ll gladly take another Glenn Beck type on TV than another Timothy McVeigh at a Ryder truck rental.

Let’s flood the marketplace of ideas and let the people decide with their ballots, their petitions and, yes, even their pocketbooks. Is there anything more democratic than that?

It may be far too idealistic to be realistic, but as so many of these grassroots movements have proven, doing and saying nothing on your behalf does nothing to achieve your goals – and as far as I’m concerned, I don’t want the Joe Stacks of the world speaking on my behalf.

Reality and revelry

2010-02-15T10:42:00.000-08:00

Late last week I decided that I would finally start catching up on the year in film 2009. I didn't actually see a single film in a theater the entire year, and I'm not proud of that fact — not one bit.
However, I do take heart in the fact that I managed to see two great films in the comfort of my home via Redbox at a cost of $2 and change. (On a side note, I have little sympathy for the closing Blockbuster brick-and-mortar locations; in the few times I was a patron, the most-popular titles were always sold out, and the harder-to-find titles were very rarely found.)
I started with "The Hurt Locker." In retrospect, this probably should have come later in my schedule of screenings. I'm pretty sure the bar has been set tremendously high for all films that follow.
What struck me the most about "The Hurt Locker" was the complete and utter lack of pretense. While there is manufactured drama and other thematics in any work of fiction, the dialogue and its delivery reminds us that this story comes from a very real place. There are a number of good documentaries on the Iraq war (including Michael Tucker's excellent "Gunner Palace"), and this film — more so than any other fictionalized accounting of the soldier's mission in Iraq — reminds me of them in the sense that the quiet scenes and booming action sequences alike draw me into the moment and never feel like I'm witnessing the product of a scripted, financed Hollywood spectacle.
Too many modern films about the military are too quick to concoct an emotional breakdown to serve the purpose of humanizing the trained killers we see on screen (Count the 2005 Sam Mendes film "Jarhead" among them, despite the absolute brilliance and reality in Swofford's published memoir). In nearly any other film, Staff Sgt. James' showering with his armor on would seem contrived or cliché. For such a powerful character to react in such a way — the only other time he unravels to such a level is his off-base excursion to find those responsible for the DVD-hocking "base rat" Beckham — is incredibly telling. We know that no person's resolve can be so steely that it never breaks; we know James is troubled on some levels. We know it will be shown in some way — but the way it comes across to the audience is not so much subtle and nuanced as it is logical, reasoned and seemingly real.
But as the opening quote and closing scene remind us, the conflict between the quiet intensity of defusing bombs and the violent outbursts both within and beyond the characters' minds and mouths is not the issue here. "War is a drug," as journalist Chris Hedges put it. James isn't so much surviving each day in Bravo Company to return home to his family; he knows that "one thing" that he loves.
As the greatest film critic of our times, Roger Ebert, pointed out: This film is not about action; it is about suspense. I'm hard-pressed to think of another film focusing on the military that includes so much suspense. The levels to which it rises in "The Hurt Locker" are top-notch. Think Gene Hackman's best works ("The Conversation," "The French Connection"). Think Alfred Hitchcock.
I'm not sure if "The Hurt Locker" is the best film of 2009; I'm not in a position of authority on the matter having seen only two films released since January 2009. But the part of my life that's been spent enjoying cinema is better for this film.
On a much lighter note, I followed the critically acclaimed "Hurt Locker" with a film that engendered equal amounts of praise for vastly different reasons: "The Hangover."
I've always found it very difficult to put good comedy into words. Good comedy is far too nuanced to try and explain with an alphabet. It's the indescribable look on John Belushi's face as he tries to smooth things over with the vengeful Carrie Fisher while on his knees in the last hour of "Blues Brothers." It's the wheelchair-bound Dr. Strangelove grappling with his diagnostic apraxia, trying to maintain some decorum while his uncontrollable hand tries to salute the Führer.
"The Hangover" isn't as good as those classic comedic moments, but it executes so many jokes so well, it gets a tip of my hat, even as I admonish myself for a guffaw over a poor, innocent baby being it by the door of a police car.
Both of these films have flaws, to be sure. "The Hurt Locker" could have done without the slow-motion shot (I tried to understand what purpose it served; I still haven't found it). The superfluous pop music throughout "The Hangover" will certainly be very dated in four years' time (Look back to Todd Phillips' "Old School" for a better score and use of a soundtrack — "Master of Puppets" and "Dust in the Wind" are now forever linked, in my mind, to that film instead of the respective albums they appear on).
I know I've seen better films in the last decade, and I've been privy to a decent amount of press screenings in my time, but I'm pretty sure the $2 I spent to rent these films on DVD gave me the best entertainment value I can remember in quite some time.

Power to the petition

2009-11-05T11:34:00.001-08:00

There must be something wrong when a United States Senator, who has the power to vote on a piece of legislation to address an issue, turns to the Internet and asks constituents to sign an online petition urging action on the very issue at hand in the legislation.

Thanks, Mark Udall.

Damn Yankees

2009-11-05T09:08:00.000-08:00

I really tried to not hate the Yankees this year.
That task seems to run counter to the inclinations of most American sports fans born and raised outside the Empire State... but I truly gave it my best effort.
Somewhere around the top of the eighth inning, as Mariano Rivera trotted out to the mound and there was absolutely no question that New York would secure its 27th championship, something happened.
I wouldn't call it anger or rage; I've seen enough of that from other sports fans (and heck, even just people who instinctively know they're *supposed* to hate the Yankees).
I went as far as to call out my fellow fans for laying on the hate a little too thick on the Bronx Bombers; I somehow rationalized that being a Yankees fan could be a contrarian's delight, almost punk in a way.
No, when my better beliefs kicked back in, I didn't hate the Yankees again out of anger — the sight of the 2009 New York Yankees winning it all brought with me a profound sense of sadness.
Despite despising anything in pinstripes for much of my sports-conscious existence (and before you ask, the only thing in baseball I hate more than the Yankees are the Red Sox), it still seems so wrong that the old Yankees Stadium is not the home of the New York Yankees. To me, the old Monument Park seemed like the most hallowed ground in the holiest site in all of sport; I can't imagine how much reverence the true Yankee diehards have for it.
They're demolishing The House That Ruth Built; it seems so wrong, but the prospect sits a little easier in the hearts and minds of those who care now that the highest-paid team in all of professional sport has christened its inaugural season in the new stadium with a championship.
I'd be a little less bitter if they had to wait for it; to work and play in a place with no history for another season or two before they inevitably got the formula perfect and conquered the Fall Classic.
This was too perfect.
They already held onto the "core four" of Posada, Pettite, Jeter and Rivera. The hip didn't hold A-Rod back. They added A.J. Burnett, C.C. Sabathia and Mark Teixeira to this stacked lineup.
Was this fate's way of making up the loss to Arizona back in 2001? The 37-year-old Pettitte getting the victory in the new stadium as Rivera closes out yet another big game?
The only way it could have been better would be the presence of one George Steinbrenner; at least then we would not be subject to player after player after player repeating the talking point: "We won this for the boss."
As Ozzie Guillen would say, "Pssh, please."
Every last person in the Yankee organization who wears a jersey to work can rest a little easier this offseason knowing they can point to this championship as proof (legitimate or not) they earned their paychecks.
Maybe they're a little afraid that the big paychecks will stop once "the boss" is out of the picture, but for now there's no indication that Steinbrenner the Younger will deviate at all from the style and method of ownership set forward by Steinbrenner the Elder.
No.... A-Rod, Jeter and the other veterans who have been on the roster for a few years have to be happy they finally went out and secured a title despite having the best team on paper for the better part of a decade.
And let me be clear: This has nothing to do with Yankee fans. Many others will deride the New York fan (be they Yankees, Mets, Ranger, Giants, Jets, Knicks or otherwise), but they're OK in my book. At the very least, the New York fan is the most entertaining of all. At least they're not Sox fans (Can you honestly say you hate the "Evil Empire" more than the myriad idiots who lay claim to citizenship in "Red Sox Nation" these days now that the "lovable losers" have two World Series titles in the past five years?).
No, my beef is with the sense of history lost in all of this and how easy it will be for so many to forget the way things were. And until the game institutes a salary cap, nothing will stop the insane spending that allows this all-too-perfect scenario from happening. The Yankees don't need anymore storybook endings; 26 world championship trophies in the bag is plenty. I know 27 was inevitable, but damn it, I wanted them to have to wait for it and remember they were playing in a place with no soul and no history for a year or two before they started chanting Sinatra in the streets while drunk on victory.
The only solace I find now consists of the following:
• There's always next year.
• The best team on paper still can't guarantee a championship year in, year out.
• I can quickly put all thoughts of baseball away for the next three or four months and go back to hating the Raiders on a full-time basis.

UPDATE: One of my favorite sportswriters, Joe Posnanski, says there's no way to define what happened other than "it was just their year."

UPDATE #2: Notice how I didn't pick on Joe Girardi. That's because he's a good guy.

The phrase of the day

2009-11-02T13:41:00.001-08:00

It's "empty suit."
A colleague of mine used it before I could get around to spitting it out today.
I think it's a very underrated phrase, although it can be overused.

Fighting Over Peace

2009-10-10T11:22:00.000-07:00

At this point, I think most people have developed an opinion on the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize being awarded to Barack Obama. I've got my own, but I don't think that's what important to mention.
Whether he deserved the award or not (as many have argued), that's inconsequential.
What does matter is how individuals have used their power within the media or their own political circles to bash the president for this turn of events.
Now, if it turns out President Obama lobbied as hard for this award as he did for Chicago to host the 2016 Summer Olympics, there'd be plenty of criticism to levy at his feet. But that has yet to be proven, nor is there any indication as to whether there's an ounce of truth to that suggestion.
I'm much more concerned about the bashing of Obama because a committee of foreign interests deciding that he should receive this honor. Let's turn the focus to the Nobel committee if we must, but even then it's widely known that they have made some dubious choices for their peace laureates over the years.
I'm all for debating the job Obama has done as President thus far, but it seems a bit ridiculous to use "He doesn't deserve a Nobel Peace Prize" as an indictment of his work overall; only two other sitting U.S. presidents (Theodore Roosevelt and Woodrow Wilson) have been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, and only one other person to serve as President (Jimmy Carter) has received the honor outside of his time in office.
And since you've stayed with me to this point, I'll let you know how I feel: Obama is making the right decision to donate the prize money to charity. It might have been an even better decision to decline the honor outright, as there are MANY deserving people in the world (like Hu Jia).

The Immaculate Deflection: Tecmo Style

2009-09-18T09:20:00.001-07:00

Dear Mark Whicker:

2009-09-15T17:24:00.000-07:00

What in God's name were you thinking?

So how do you follow that up?

A. Release an "apology" in which you express regret for the people who got offended without doing the two things you should have done, which are (1) say you were wrong and (2) say you are sorry.

B. Have your employers also accept culpability for your idiocy.

C. Make flippant remarks while being interviewed about your idiocy.

D. Continue to be employed as a professional writer.

E. All of the above.

(By the way, a busy Labor Day schedule at a newspaper is why you see dangling participles and misspelled words in your print edition; that's no excuse for running a horrific piece of words jumbled together that makes light of quite possibly the worst thing short of death I can think of happening to a young woman like Jaycee Dugard.)

"The Immaculate Deflection"

2009-09-13T15:56:00.000-07:00

Beck to the future

2009-09-12T14:51:00.000-07:00

If you watched or read enough news today to be properly informed on the happenings of the day, you likely saw coverage of the conservative and libertarian tea parties in the nation's capital and other cities across the country.
Today happens to be Sept. 12, the namesake of the 9-12 Project -- an effort fronted by Fox News commentator Glenn Beck -- whose members range from the basic anti-Obama crowd to the populist "vote out the incumbents" movement that is ready for 100-percent turnover in Congress based on issues such as the stimulus bills, the auto bailouts, et al.

But at the heart of the project are the nine principles and 12 values used as a framework for moving forward. The values? Honesty, reverence, hope, thrift, humility, charity, sincerity, moderation, hard work, courage, personal responsibility and friendship (Note that civility is not one of them; I'm looking at you, Rep. Joe Wilson of South Carolina).
You can read the entire manifesto on the project's web site. My issue isn't with what they're putting in words for the public; I have an issue with the invisible subtext they're playing with here.
Take this passage, for example:

"The 9-12 Project is designed to bring us all back to the place we were on Sept. 12, 2001. The day after America was attacked we were not obsessed with Red States, Blue States or political parties. We were united as Americans, standing together to protect the values and principles of the greatest nation ever created."

That sounds nice on the surface, but think about it. First of all, I still don't understand why anyone needs to invoke the Sept. 11 attacks for any political purpose. It's important to remember what happened to our country on that day and how the United States changed as a result, but even issues such as counter-terrorism and national security can be debated without using the Sept. 11 terror attacks as a basis for any policy or platform. Eight years have passed, and while the lives of thousands of people have been changed because of the attacks, the reality of America's fight against terrorism and struggle to secure our borders, interests and livelihoods have changed. Rudy Giuliani was exposed as a presidential candidate (beyond his failure to campaign in the early caucus and primary states) thanks in part to Joe Biden's "noun, verb and 9/11" jab, calling out a politician's reliance on appealing to our fears and the nationalist, xenophobic leanings of many to gain favor. Again, we will always remember; for that reason, let's leave Sept. 11 out of the debates, as it serves no purpose.
Furthermore, I'm not sure who is still "obsessed with Red States (and) Blue States." Did they not pay attention to Barack Obama's keynote speech at the 2004 Democratic National Convention? He ascended to national prominence (and eventually the White House) based on the resonance his message had with Americans sick of partisan divisions. And if anything, the actions of 9-12 Project members and their affiliated causes have escalated tensions regarding politics in America. Do you remember anyone bringing weapons to President Bush's rallies? (And don't tell me these people are doing so just because it's within their rights... these people may not be wannabe assassins, but they most certainly are provocateurs. Sound like anyone you know, Glenn Beck?)
Which brings me to my biggest concern: The real feelings being stirred by conjuring images of Sept. 12 (and Sept. 11, considering Sept. 12 is bereft of meaning without it). People were scared on Sept. 12. They were angry. They were in the early stages of shock that eventually allowed the Bush administration launch a war in Iraq that never should have occurred. It's that brand of fear, angst and blind loyalty that gave George W. Bush a second term (well, that and a tremendously weak campaign by John Kerry) and put America in position to overspend on fighting an unnecessary war while maxing out its credit, pushing the housing bubble into a position to burst and starting the downward spiral that led to the worst economic strain since the Great Depression.

Is that what we should be doing? Inciting those kinds of emotions is not the way to cultivate civil discourse over the future of our democratic republic. We are so close to moving past the idea that the loudest, angriest voices are correct without giving thought to the substance of what is being said. I can also guarantee that any use of the iconography of Adolf Hitler and the Nazis in comparison to any politician's ideas immediately disqualifies you from being taken seriously in my eyes.
Bill Maher says we're a stupid nation. I disagree; we've just become accustomed to accepting the worst in others as the status quo. I don't make a point of quoting President Obama, but at least on face value, we must "choose our better history."

Beyond 140

2009-09-12T09:07:00.000-07:00

Was it really all the way back in February that I wrote about becoming a twittering nabob of negativity? Well, almost 2,500 tweets later, I've realized that the blog is in need of a comeback, and here it is.
The design has drastically changed, and it likely will continue to do so until I'm satisfied with all the possibilities. Please to enjoy the new Digg widget and updated Twitter widget in the far-right column (I lovingly refer to it as "Glenn Becktria").
If there's anything you thing should be added to Sliced Bread (or if you want to tell me to shut the hell up about whatever I'm rambling on about), just e-mail or tweet me.

From coast to coast

2009-09-11T08:59:00.000-07:00

I discovered this video by way of Logan Adams' "Good To Be in N.D." blog.... Makes me want to take a road trip:

Reminder: Scanlon to take Buckley command

2009-06-07T11:48:00.000-07:00

Passing along this blurb from the folks at Buckley AFB here in Aurora:

The 566 Intelligence Squadron will be holding a Change of Command ceremony at the Learning Development Center, Bldg 1032, on Buckley Air Force Base 30 June at 1000.

Lt Col Jonathan Snowden will relinquish command after two years to Lt Col David Scanlon, currently the Chief of Special Technical Operations for US Pacific Command’s Standing Joint Force Headquarters, Camp Smith, Hawaii.

Lt Col Snowden is scheduled to report as Deputy Commander of the 692nd Intelligence, Surveillance and Reconnaissance Group, Hickam AFB, Hawaii.

Looks to me like a straight-up trade between Colorado and Hawaii. I tend to like the climate here in Aurora better, but their beaches might be a tad nicer.

Critiquing Conan

2009-06-02T06:45:00.000-07:00

In case you missed it, the "Tonight Show" torch has been passed from Jay Leno to Conan O'Brien, and while there will be plenty of episodes to follow for me to evaluate the status of NBC's top late-night offering, I'm compelled to break down the first offering from the comedy mind of Conan since his "Late Night" gig ended in February. WARNING: I will be using words such as "California-ish" and "Oprah-esque," and I'll also be referencing The First Epistle of Paul the Apostle to the Corinthians. Hide your children and tread lightly. Here be dragons.

OPENING BIT: I'm very glad they started getting the "move to L.A." jokes out of the way early, although I enjoyed the running across America sketch (I'll watch just about anything set to "Surrender" by Cheap Trick). It made me realize that beyond the Rocky Mountains, there aren't many nationally recognized monuments or landmarks between the St. Louis Arch and the Welcome to Las Vegas sign (perhaps a dash across the Hoover Dam was in order).

TITLE & THEME: Great reworking of the old "Late Night" theme, set against some glitzy nighttime shots of a lit-up, neon Los Angeles. Having Andy Richter back as "the voice" of the show will take time getting used to -- I'm glad he's there, but I really think he ought to migrate into a true sidekick instead of the goofy announcer.

THE SET: Amazing color scheme going on with lots of blue and California-ish hues, some heavy art deco influence here and there. The band's podiums are the worst offenders, and I kinda like them, so they're doing a number of things right, in my mind.

THE MONOLOGUE: Conan busted out a quick string dance to appease the loyal fans from "Late Night." It'll be interesting to see if that continues. The best line was one of the first: "I think I timed this moment perfectly, if you think about it: I'm on a last-place network, I moved to a state that's bankrupt, and tonight's show is sponsored by General Motors." He poked fun at Vice President Joe Biden's propensity for inappropriate remarks, the status boost of being seen at a Lakers game and -- in a bit that went on a little too long -- leading a tram tour of Universal Studios (The Oprah-esque showering of gifts on tourists, but this time from a dollar store). And how could we escape the episode without an octo-mom joke? It's an absolute necessity.

THE VIBE: Conan's biggest concern could be how his hardcore "Late Night" fans in the studio audience conduct themselves. For me, "Conan" was an institution of my adolescence, a must-watch tradition of my high school years that carried over slightly into college and waned into adulthood. Having him back on an hour earlier makes it easier to watch my new favorite late-night host (CBS' Craig Ferguson), but I don't know if other fans will acclimate themselves to this new show as well as I think I will. "Tonight" is not the madhouse that "Late Night" was, and a few extra seconds of the crowd going wild at the opening could ruffle some feathers with The Powers That Be, the ones who were used to Jay coming out, shaking a couple dozen hands with the front rows and then everyone sitting back and delivering the laughter exactly when they want it. For now we see through a comedy glass, darkly: when Conan became a man, did he put away childish things (i.e. Pimpbot 5000, Holiday Pictures, The Bear)?

THE TAURUS: Fabio with dark hair was a nice addition to the sketch, but I could go without ever seeing Conan's old Ford standby ever again. The whole "getting used to LA's car culture" concept was forever broken when Joe Torre started doing commercials from a surf board for State Farm.

THE GUEST: Will Ferrell isn't a bad choice for a first guest, but it's hard to gauge how hard he'll work at making his appearance be more than just what you'd usually expect from him. In this case, he made a great entrance, sang a song and helped us get through the requisite 4 hours of "moving to L.A." jokes we're bound to hear this week. It seems that Conan really wants to recapture the essence of what made Johnny Carson such an institution, and Ferrell at times strikes me as the closest modern society will get to recapturing the brilliance of Steve Martin, who always was classic on the old Carson show. Ferrell wasn't his best here, but if Conan sticks in this role, he'll have plenty of opportunities to produce the kinds of classic moments that were the hallmark of the Carson show.

THE MUSIC: It's true that Pearl Jam often doesn't get the credit it is due. I think most of the public regards them as one of those bands who just got incredibly popular in the 90s and that's how they'll always be remembered. But despite the fact that Eddie Vedder is slowly morphing into Russell Crowe, his band comfortably inhabits the space between seminal rock gods and above-average alt-rock outfit. Choosing Pearl Jam may be more of a reflection of Conan's musical tastes than the desire to put a "legendary" act out there; in fact, it may have been a measured move. How could you ever top your first show if the musical act were The Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen or the likes of Elton John, U2, David Bowie or Prince? Pearl Jam is a solid choice.

FINAL GRADE: A good show that won't be particularly memorable except that it sets a good level of expectations for future shows. It wasn't awkward. It didn't strive to be more than it is. The jokes weren't all gems despite having months to prepare for this moment, but you get the feeling that every second of this first outing was not scripted, and that spontaneous nature likely will provide more laughs in the episodes to come than it will detract from its entertainment value. No one is expecting Jay Leno's "Tonight Show," and Conan certainly isn't going to deliver anything other than what he's been doing for the past 16 years. 7 out of 10

Save Dewey

2009-05-28T15:22:00.001-07:00

One of the cornerstones of American culture — a tradition unrivaled by most accounts — is under attack.
That’s right — I’m talking about the Dewey Decimal Classification system.
Old Melvil must be spinning in his grave.
Citing a “Customers First” movement to simplify life for its patrons, Perl Mack Library, nestled away in the Sherrelwood neighborhood of northwestern Denver, is ditching the standby method for hunting down what you want in favor of a “word-based cataloging system.”
The need for this new way, compared to how books might be organized in a retail store, completely escapes me.
Are there enough people who didn’t pay attention in elementary school during library orientation to justify the abandonment of the closest we’ll ever get to a perfect method for organizing books by category, discipline, author and more?
Let’s ignore the fact that every library worth its salt not only lists the Dewey decimal range at the beginning of each row of books, but it also gives hints as to what one might find. Germanic languages? You want 033. Metaphysics? That’s 110. Looking for Ephemerides? They’re still collecting dust over in 528.
My favorite section as a youngster? They used to keep the Hunter S. Thompson over in 813 (American fiction), but nowadays it’s stored in 070.92 (News media, journalism and publishing).
And don’t tell me there’s no room for growth! 040 to 049 is still unassigned, as are dozens of other numerical spots within the system.
This is a uniquely and profoundly simple system — flexible, nearly limitless and able to take anything you or I could possibly know and codify its place in this world.

Why we remember

2009-05-25T12:52:00.000-07:00

I hesitate somewhat to even mention this, but it has nagged at my mind too long this holiday weekend to not opine:
Memorial Day is for the commemoration of the American men and women who died in the military service, including U.S. casualties of any military action.
We pause on this day to honor their service to this nation.
And while it's a shame that it is no longer observed on each May 30 (as it originally was intended), it is a brilliant reminder each year — as much of modern American life becomes further and further removed from the notions of self-sacrifice and service of one's country — that some paid the ultimate price for this nation, its security and its interests.
While it is more than worthy to pay tribute to our living veterans, this is not their day. They are joining those of us outside of the service in remembering their fallen brothers and sisters.
While it is certainly important to remember the tragedy of the Sept. 11, 2001 terror attacks, this day was not meant as a catchall observation of all lives lost.
Far be it for me to suggest anyone taking the time to do either of these things on the last Monday in May is doing so incorrectly, but I think it's worth a reminder that today means something very specific, and as the son of one veteran and grandson to two others, it should not be overlooked.

My seat's been empty

2009-05-13T17:33:00.000-07:00

One of the aspects of my life that I'm less proud of is this:
I have not seen a movie in theaters since July 2008. I was out to see "The Dark Knight" on opening weekend (not my brightest idea ever), and my wife was suffering from a then-undiagnosed case of double pneumonia (She did her best not to cough through the whole film, I tried my best to not be a butthead about dragging her out to the theater). The film itself was underwhelming despite great visuals, great sound effects, good directing and a truly Oscar-caliber performance from Heath Ledger.
But I don't think that's what scared me off from the cinema.
If anything, I abhor watching a film for the first time on DVD or any other format other than a gigantic screen in a darkened theater. It's hard to explain and yet quite cliché, but NOTHING compares to seeing a film at the theater.
But I can't bring myself to shell out the kind of money they charge to enter the theater and enjoy the show; by all means, in my heart I think it's worth it — but my head says otherwise.
I have yet to find a great theater that shows a good variety of new releases each week within 20 minutes of my house. The whole reason to go out is to have THE MOVIE EXPERIENCE, and some rinky-dink multiplex that was put together with the same amount of love and care as a last-minute term paper DOES NOT provide said experience.
That's truly the first and last issue that keeps me periodically picking up a year-old, used DVD to catch up on what the artists of the moving image have produced. It's truly a shame.
You can say my seat's been empty, but I contend that the seat in that great moviehouse doesn't exist yet -- at least not within a drive shorter than the lengthy procession of trailers and commercials before the feature.

Of pageants and piety

2009-04-21T18:22:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it doesn't pay to be "biblically correct."
Booed and cheered simultaneously, Miss California Carrie Prejean has soared into the national spotlight for sharing her views on marriage during the Miss USA pageant, where she ultimately finished second.
“We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite," Prejean began, obviously ignorant of her home state's passage of Proposition 8, rescinding the right of same-sex couples to marry. "And you know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised.”
Was that so incendiary?
I don't agree with Ms. Prejean, but I cannot muster the furor others have at her response.
Perez Hilton, the gay blogger who asked her the question during the pageant, went on to call her a "dumb b--ch" on his website when it was over. His criticisms have been joined by a chorus of others.
But why so much fuss over a young woman whose scholarly pursuits extend as far as San Diego Christian College, whose biggest achievement beyond the pageants was being a finalist in a model search for "Deal or No Deal"?
I doubt they were offended that a potential Miss USA actually gave an honest answer during a Q&A, or even a semi-coherent response (a far cry from Caitlin Upton's nonsensical Miss Teen USA 2007 speech on maps). If that were the cause, every pageant contestant with a lick of common sense would eschew anything that could be construed to be the least bit un-PC. Perhaps they could just sing "The Greatest Love Of All" while waving an American flag in one hand and cuddling a puppy in the other in response to any prompt and leave it at that.
The real reason? Our country is no less unified than it was prior to the election and subsequent inauguration of Barack Obama as president.
If anything, we are more partisan and markedly fiercer in that partisanship. Look no further than the Tax Day tea parties for evidence of this on the right end of the political spectrum.
There was no malice in Prejean's response, but there certainly was spite in those who derided her. What happened to accepting our differences and realizing that there are few issues on which the world is in universal agreement?
But don't fret for Miss Prejean. She's survived the cutthroat world of beauty pageants; I imagine she can handle the scorn of the blogosphere. Besides, she may have unwittingly made herself the new darling of the Republican Party — look out, Meghan McCain, you've got competition!

Weekend Diversion: Quality Service from the LAPD

2009-04-10T15:00:00.000-07:00

If you're like me, you've always wondered what would happen if the Los Angeles Police Department used a song from former Branson, Mo., favorite Ray Stevens to be the soundtrack for an early-90s training video. Well, if that's true, today's a big day for both of us. Enjoy:

A Day in the Life

2009-04-07T23:13:00.000-07:00

"I read the news today, oh boy..."

I can't help but notice and comment on the exceptional increase in the number of stories I've seen as of late about people taking the lives of others and themselves.
• Four police officers killed in Oakland, Calif., in March in two separate incidents with a man pulled over in a routine traffic stop.
• More than a dozen people killed at the American Civic Association in Binghamton, N.Y., by Jiverly Wong, who then killed himself.
• A man in Washington kills his five children and then himself because his wife said she was leaving him.
• Three police officers killed in Pittsburgh in response to a call about a dispute over a dog urinating in a house.
• A man in Alabama kills his wife, teenage daughter and two relatives.
• Even here in Aurora, a man accused of gunning down his estranged wife, then fleeing with his two young daughters, only to kill himself as authorities tracked him down in Thornton.

"...And though the news was rather sad..."

Putting together Sunday's paper, I started thinking about all of this.
As someone who consumes a lot of news and has been exposed to a number of heinous stories and gruesome photos, few things get to me on a level that truly, deeply disturbs me. My skin has developed the thickness needed to read the AP wire and keep one ear on the police scanner, but this latest slate of violence just really got to me.

"I saw the photograph..."

I wonder what readers would make of all this.
I think one of the quickest and easiest reactions is to say that the economic downturn and resulting human traumas has put many people on edge, and a delicate minority of them have gone over that same precipice.

"A crowd of people stood and stared..."

How many people out there will read these stories, evaluate the difficulties in their own lives and begin pondering whether their lives (and the lives of others) are worth living? I think we try to do the best job possible in presenting honest news in the most straightforward ways possible, but my mind always has a nagging voice somewhere in the back, worried about the possibilities of copycats.
The local ABC affiliate, Channel 7, recently interviewed a number of experts to try and explain this recent spate of violence.
They say spring is the thing — that early to mid-April is a time when violence traditionally ramps up: The Waco standoff in 1993, the Oklahoma City bombing in 1995, the Columbine massacre in 1999, and the Virginia Tech shooting rampage in 2007.
They cited psychologists saying the changing of the season affects people with mood disorders: The world renews itself, yet they realize they are still depressed — feelings that can lead some to hurt themselves and others.

"A crowd of people turned away..."

But ultimately, I'm more angered at how society can quickly brush off atrocities such as these and turn its focus back to the mundane and the inconsequential.
Rather, I think I became more incensed at the people who profess to care about protecting life and liberty yet remain largely silent in times like these.
There are people out there stockpiling weapons because they think President Obama will someday outlaw them. Some of these people are legitimate collectors; others may have issues that may one day lead them to misuse those weapons.
There are people out there with access to weapons that make them a threat to themselves, their friends and family, and to complete strangers.
At the same time, there are still vocal groups that concern themselves with one issue and one issue only, with no regard to the facts.... the issue could be guns, abortion, what-have-you.
I try to understand most points of view. I try to know why they feel the way they do. I understand why they often are so angry. And as the man says, I'll defend their right to think and feel the way they do.
But I cannot understand those who are vehemently pro-life or pro-gun who choose to ignore this issue: Violence claiming the lives of those who have been born and are living, working, thinking and full of potential and exercising their liberties. It seems to be happening at an alarmingly increasing rate, and sometimes there is no rhyme or reason to the rage that pushes some to kill.
But this isn't about whether you're pro-gun, anti-gun, pro-abortion rights or anti-abortion rights. This should concern anyone and everyone.

"...Somebody spoke and I went into a dream..."

I don't want people to think they need to be scared, but I do think it's prudent to think about what is going on in society today and recognize situations where the line between depression and homicide is very thin, and to recognize that one person can help another understand that there are few troubles in this world that should prompt anyone to want to end their own life, let alone the life of another.
Most people seem to have realized there are major issues unfolding beyond the horizons of their self-interests and single-issue platforms. I'm just hoping the stragglers will hop on sooner rather than later.

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Courthouse

2009-03-25T10:01:00.000-07:00

Of the many Groucho Marx lines I’ve committed to memory, one of the more profound ones was, in fact, sent by the legendary funnyman via telegram to the Friars Club of Beverly Hills:
“I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept people like me as a member.”
I gained renewed respect for that line after I was kicked off a jury last week.
Well, to be fair, I was never technically on the jury... For about a month and a half, I was a “prospective juror” on Colorado’s only death penalty case waiting to go to trial.
For 38 days, I pondered over and over the responsibilities of the possibility of having another person’s life in my hands along with 11 other citizens charged with their civic duty.
Thankfully, I don’t have to think about that anymore. The writing was on the wall long before I filled out the juror questionnaire.
Know about the case? Yep. Seen media coverage of it? Check. Already formulated a personal opinion on innocence or guilt? As a citizen, yes. As a journalist, no.
But I feel bad because in those 38 days, my mind was completely changed on the subject. When I was first summoned to jury duty, I had some pretty strong opinions on the matter as a Colorado resident, as an Auroran... as a human being.
Looking back, I’m not entirely sure what I think about murder, the death penalty and the like, but I do know my mindset on the issues has been changed when forced to think about them.
For me, the verdict is in: I probably didn’t belong anywhere near that courtroom as one to pass judgment, but I’m better for the process. Case dismissed.

The burst of the Obama bubble, or The ghost of Howard Beale rears its ugly head

2009-03-18T00:49:00.000-07:00

Take a look at your stock portfolio and shake your head a tad. Maybe bite your lower lip and subtly grimace.
Read about golden parachutes on Wall Street and snear.
Hear news of the latest round of layoffs in town and sulk.
Do you dare mention the letters ‘A,’ ‘I’ and ‘G’ together in mixed company without fear of initiating some Incredible Hulk-esque populist rampage?
This nation is mad as hell, and it’s not going to take this anymore. Somewhere, Howard Beale is smiling.
This sort of vitriol was supposed to be a thing of the past — something that had no place in the post-partisan world of the Obama presidency.
Maybe we had our hopes too high.
The economy didn’t make a miraculous recovery (although it’s trying), and those celestial choirs Hillary Clinton talked about never did show up, just as predicted.
In a time where information travels at the speed of Twitter, we fooled ourselves into believing that big things could happen very quickly with a few Blackberry-wielding fresh faces in D.C. Unfortunately, most of the nation’s capital is still operating at the pace of a gubernatoral impeachment in Illinois.
We knew better, and we’re not happy about it.
But before we acknowledge that Obama & Co. bit off more than they could chew in the expectations department, we’re going to exhaust the list of scapegoat suspects.
Jon Stewart was compared to Edward R. Murrow for his grilling of CNBC and “Mad Money” host Jim Cramer. While few on and near Wall Street are innocent in this recession, Stewart got religion in this matter pretty late in the game. If Stewart were much more than a comedian or commentator, he’d tone down the holier-than-Dow attitude and realize he has more in common with Howard Beale than Murrow. With no Bush baddies to rail against, Stewart fixed his sights on the purveyors of honest mistakes and simple failures... and he’s not the only one.
AIG doled out retention bonuses for some time (for better or worse), and all of a sudden they’re persona non grata d’jour because they took money the government was offering. Obviously AIG failed its customers, many of its employees and the industry it helps shape, but in reality they did little worse than what happens at any workplace.
You might have been paid $24 an hour to perform duties X, Y and Z, but no one launched the full force and fury of the Congress against you when you spent 15 minutes watching YouTube when you were waiting for that fax to come in.
The reality is we’re having trouble being angry at ourselves... for not seeing this coming, for not doing more than we did, and for letting ourselves get cut by the jagged edges of shattered dreams.
And by God, someone’s gonna pay.

Newspapers Buy Blogs A Drink

2009-02-24T06:56:00.000-08:00

As you can see, I've joined the masses of people who post their ultra-concise comments on Twitter. I've found it so useful, it's taken precedence on my blog page over my most-recent post. Why? Because more than likely, I'll have five new Twitter posts before anyone realizes I've updated my blog.
Has the traditional blog gone the way of the newspaper? Shunned for its lack of immediacy over a newer technology that provides greater capabilities for social interaction and networking? You bet it has.
But the same answer cannot be given for the following question: Is the blog irrelevant? Ask the same question of newspapers and the answer remains 'No.' I think we're just seeing a sea change of how the medium defines the message online.
My sentiments here would be hard to convey in a single Twitter update... most of my Twitter updates (I refuse to use the phrase 'Tweeting.' If anything, I'm a Twittering Nabob of Negativity, to modernize a phrase from William Safire for Spiro Agnew.) do not merit the kind of writing at length I sometimes do for my blog, and they certainly have little use in a newspaper without being reworked for that format.
If the medium isn't the message, at the very least it's directing traffic to get 'Tweets,' blogs, columns, articles, soundbytes and viral videos to their respective areas for maximum consumption.
So belly up to the bar, blogs. The first round is on us in the newspaper business.

Africa: I've got good news and bad news

2009-02-19T06:43:00.000-08:00

Good news, Zimbabwe: You've decided to switch from paying your civil servants and military with the "pariah" Zimbabwe dollar (which most consider "worthless") to using foreign currencies, which could also help stave off inflation.

From the UK's Guardian:

"Although relatively low compared to what Zimbabwean professionals used to earn, $100 is a small fortune against the near worthless wages they had been receiving. Teachers were paid several trillion Zimbabwe dollars a month but inflation, which is above 10 sextillion (10 billion trillion) percent, wiped out the currency's value. Almost all shops in Zimbabwe now accept payment only in US dollars or South African rand."

Bad news: You picked the U.S. dollar. Seriously? While still home to the world's largest economy and the top producer of American agrandissement, the U.S. of A. is also in the grips of the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression. And despite recent highs against the Euro, I don't think it's too far-fetched to say the U.S. dollar is primed to burst like the once-booming housing market.
Hopefully President Obama's new stimulus plan will have a positive effect on jobs, credit, etc., because it almost assuredly will take its toll on either the dollar (by printing new money and raising inflation) and/or future generations of workers (who will pay for the plan's price tag PLUS interest).

Verdict: I love my country, and it's great to see parts of the world still seeing value in our currency, but I wouldn't mind being paid in precious metals at this point. Plus, Euro coins are so neat looking compared to the ole greenback.

Aditude: Baby

2009-02-10T21:52:00.000-08:00

I swear I'm not getting paid to put these ads up on my blog... they're just so bizarre that they must be pointed out. I caught this one while reading Salon.com. Is there a tooth whitener that's so powerful, the sight of your pearly smile will cause others' eyes to go the shade I like to refer to as "post-nuclear emerald"?

Just Another Chapter In The Saga of The Panda

2009-02-04T12:08:00.000-08:00

I saw this ad today on a popular blog, and ever since my life has been I complete wreck. Obviously people are concerned about the economy, and many of them are going back to school to get degrees in order to help the secure new jobs... But why the pandas? Are they people dressed as pandas? Most of the marketing specialists I know like to dress up as animals, but that's another story. Or could something far worse and sinister be at play? Is Degrees.Info a secret plot to transform the average Web-surfing human into happy, dancing pandas? If so, it's a brilliant ploy, because I know the truth about The Panda:

I'm drunk on panda mystery.

The Internet - As We Thought It Would Be

2009-02-04T10:13:00.000-08:00

You might be wrong, Jon Severson

2009-02-03T15:00:00.000-08:00

If you haven't read this piece from Colorado Biz yet, I advise you to do so, because the following is a sampling of my response to its heralding of the imminent demise of the Rocky Mountain News.

One less voice for a community is rarely a good thing.

More voices with more diversified opinions and content is a good thing, as best as we can tell from Severson's article. Technological advances in communications have served to better the human experience; there is no doubt about this. But sooner or later, the sources of content for these new media will either be forced to evolve or dry up.

As a young professional myself, I enjoy the explosion of niche products found via Internet, podcast, YouTube, etc. If you have a niche interest, you can find that specific media.

At the same time, how many young professionals like myself care as deeply about the physical, geographical and HUMAN community around them as they do their social networking groups? I imagine the ratio is staggering. But eventually people grow up, realize that being part of the immediate world around you is vital to making sure you live in an area with good schools for your children, high quality of living, etc. Who has stepped up to fill the niche of local community news?

It would be nice to think that citizen journalists could take a full-time, active role in direct democracy to serve that local need... but invariably people have other interests, other demands on their time and energy. Maybe each teacher, plumber, accountant, doctor, police officer, IT specialist and other working American should find the time to play an active part in civic life — but that is a utopian ideal not yet achieved. Until then, your local newspaper is there, working to be a part of the community, and delivering relevant content, providing an attractive medium for local businesses to advertise.

Newspapers — and newsgathering/content-producing organizations of all kinds — need to evolve with the times. But the core goals of the local news organization, be it paper, news radio, magazine, blog or TV news, are as vital to modern society as most others. If the workable business model of the future is out there, surely these organizations will be supplanted or adapted... but if anyone can show me that business model, I'm happy to hear it, learn it, sell it, teach it and champion it in all ways.

NIMBY: Terrorist Edition

2009-01-31T20:17:00.000-08:00

Here in Colorado, the Republicans -- who were virtually in lockstep with President Bush regarding the potentially unlawful detention of suspected terrorists at Camps Delta, Iquana and X-Ray at Guantanamo Bay -- are now screaming "not in my backyard" over the possibility of these detainees being transferred to ADX Florence, informally known as Colorado's "Supermax" facility.
For all their noise, I have yet to hear a rational reason to not do this.
They could argue that the prisoners should all be housed in one facility; currently, ADX Florence has a capacity of 490 and a prisoner population of about 463. A few dozen of the 200 to 300 Gitmo prisoners could be sent to Florence. But is that a good enough reason for Florence to not do its part in making sure these suspected terrorists aren't returned to the Middle East during a time of war?
Instead, the reasons mentioned are neglectful of the facts and usually populist jokes:

"Let's stick them in Alcatraz so it can be Nancy Pelosi's problem." <-- Spending more than $1 million to return Alcatraz to an operational state just for this one-time purpose doesn't make sense to me when we have current infrastructure and resources in our federal peniteniaries nationwide. But I'm taking this too seriously; it's just a quick jab for people to post on message boards and blast on talk radio, part of the labeling of Obama, Reid and Pelosi as some "unholy trinity."
"Why are we bringing terrorists to our state?" <-- No one seemed to raise a fit when al-Qaida bomber Abdul Hakim Ali Hashim Murad came to Florence. The same goes for World Trade Center bomber Ahmed Mohammad Ajaj. Or Ahmed Omar Abu Ali. Or Clement Rodney Hampton-El (a.k.a. Dr. Rashid). Or El Sayyid Nosair. Or Eric Rudolph. Or Eyad Ismail. Or James Ujaama. Or John Walker Lindh. Or Jose Padilla. Or Mohammed A. Salameh. Or Mohammed Ali Hassan Al-Moayad. Or Mohammed Odeh. Or Omar Abdel-Rahman. Or Ramzi Yousef. Or would-be "shoe bomber" Richard Reid. Or "Unabomber" Ted Kaczynski. Or the late Timothy McVeigh. Or Sept. 11 conspirator Zacarias Moussaoui.
"Putting them all together would taint the other prisoners, turning them against America." <-- The 23-hour confinement policy, along with the solitary workout program at ADX Florence, has been well documented. These prisoners do not have contact with each other. Their only human contact whatsoever is with prison employees (guards, etc.). Even if they were exposed to the other prisoners, is there any guarantee that the likes of Terry Nichols, Matthew Hale and Robert Hanssen would become pals with former al-Qaida members? And supposing that, how do they lead a coordinated attack on the guards when the security measured used at Supermax have been demonstrated to work as well as or better than any other federal prison facility in the country?
"Colorado will become a target for terrorists." <-- I would like to introduce as evidence the list of terrorist attacks on Guantanamo Bay's detention center due to its housing of al-Qaida and other terror suspects. Wait.... what? You mean there isn't a list because there's never been a terrorist attack on Guantanamo Bay since terror suspects have been detained there? Well, guess we can close the case on this one.
"US prisons = US trials. The standards for conviction are too high under our current laws; a lot of these prisoners could go free." <-- If we don't have a case against them under our laws, we have done what our society has deemed is right and just. If we do have a case against them, the long list of current Florence inmates proves that convictions are not only possible outside of military tribunal, but the public scrutiny of the cases forces prosecution to present the fullest, clearest case against these people.

Throw in a couple of reference to "President-Mullah Hussein B. Obama" and you'll have the basic GOP talking points on this matter.
Don't get me wrong; I'm not convinced Guantanamo Bay's detention facilities required closing in the first place. Certainly a number of misdeeds were perpetrated there by officials acting on behalf of the Bush administration, but is that not also true of most branches of the federal government? Should we close the Department of Education because of No Child Left Behind? No, but the new administration can reform it so it can perform its proper duties.
But President Obama has made up his mind, fulfilling his campaign promise to close Gitmo's detention camps. It may not have been the best decision, but it's not a terrible decision. It may cost the government money to plan for and conduct the relocation of these detainees, but it starts us on the road toward increasing our reputation as a nation of rights, the rule of law and morally just leadership.

Why?

2009-01-22T19:48:00.001-08:00

(Thanks to Al Crancer of BureauCats for sending in another of his poignant, mind-opening cartoons. I know art when I see it, and this is the equivalent of thinking about going to the art museum on a Saturday but instead staying in to watch lumberjack compeitions on ESPN2.)

History has been made; here's to the future

2009-01-20T20:57:00.001-08:00

For all the untold miles traveled, hours spent and lives touched en route to this moment, 35 words stood between Barack Obama and history.
After a few seconds of wrangling with Chief Justice John Roberts over whose turn it was to speak and what should be said, the moment so many never imagined possible became reality.
“So help me God.”
And so it was, that Barack Obama became the 44th president of these United States, the first black man to lead this nation.
With the stakes of the nation as high as its expectations, the new president delivered an inaugural address that cautioned us not only of the obstacles ahead of us, but also recalled the hope and enthusiasm that prompted so many Americans to buy into his pitch for change.
The speech made it clear that the newest resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. understands that our trials and obligations are no less great because the reins of the nation have changed hands. There’s no inheritance from America’s rich uncle awaiting us now that George W. Bush is out of office.
But for each reminder of America’s struggles, there was a beacon of hope.
In my mind, it was groundbreaking for the leader of the free world to denounce the idea that our civil liberties should be the first sacrifice made when securing our homeland. For all the talk of smaller government by conservatives over the years, there never was a healthy dose of bigger liberties — unless you worked on Wall Street or bid on reconstruction contracts in Iraq.
Time has indeed come for us to rethink how our government works and how we should be active players in that process.
No one sentence or phrase in Obama’s address stressed this point as much as the idea that we must hand down our achievements for the next generation of America to build upon, a tradition that has continued since this nation’s inception.
Someone much smarter than me once said, “When history has been made, all that’s left is the future... and if you live in the present, you’ll be left with nothing.”
Insomuch as the historic unveiling of the Obama presidency is for all that has come before us, the weeks, months and years to come are for us now. The new president made it clear that there is precious time to savor his victory, and that responsibility to the ages is one that need be shared.
And with any luck, each day of the presidency of Barack Obama will provide chances anew to realize the dream of Martin Luther King, Jr. While black Americans should take pride in this moment and the achievements of this administration, the greatest good awaiting people of all races and ethnicities lies not in Obama’s skin color, but in the content of his character.
We are at a point in our course of human events where great action is necessary from our government. If Obama can deliver on that promise beyond his promises laid out in speeches, he will be remembered for those deeds better than the fact he is America’s first black president. That historic achievement in overcoming our nation’s racial problems will be no less important for what it is, but America will be much better off for the many other things that are possible with a change in the White House.
History has been made; here’s to the future.

Read All About It: National Buy A Newspaper Day

2009-01-18T08:15:00.000-08:00

From BuyANewspaperDay.Com:

"The newspaper is heavily focused on local news. It keeps you informed

about events in your town and keeps local government in-line.

So for one day, Monday, Feb. 2, 2009, please make it a point to pick

up your local newspaper (reading it online doesn't count).

It doesn't matter if it's a daily or weekly, right-leaning or

left-leaning. If you're a college student and you get the school paper

for free, buy the town paper. If you subscribe, why not pick up a

second copy?

Who knows? You might like what you see and come back another day, and

another, and another…"

The Monday, Feb. 2, edition of The Aurora Sentinel will be on racks across Aurora for free, but don't let that stop you from taking part... Grab a copy and share it with your friends and family.
And those of you with millions in your bank account, I do know of a local newspaper you can buy right out and truly make it your own.

Shaq plays ball for Barack

2009-01-14T16:34:00.000-08:00

A little bird told The Sentinel that former NBA MVP Shaquille O'Neal was at Buckley Air Force Base today to shoot a video for President-Elect Barack Obama and the next First Family, all this a day before his Phoenix Suns take on the Denver Nuggets on Thursday night at the Pepsi Center.

Attempts to secure a game of H.O.R.S.E. with the 7-foot-plus O'Neal were unsuccessful as of late Wednesday afternoon.

Aditude: AT&T's 'Howard'

2009-01-05T20:23:00.000-08:00

'Howard' is really stupid to think he should deep-fry anything that's frozen... he's also channeling the acting skills of one Nicholas Cage, methinks.

(Yes, it seems like I'm on some sort of ad critic rampage as of late. Enjoy and/or deal with it.)

Aditude: How To Fix The Economy

2009-01-05T19:59:00.000-08:00

Take the money being spent on cell phones for snowmen and pay down the national debt. You can thank me in gold.

A funny thing happened on the way to the Senate

2009-01-05T18:57:00.000-08:00

So here it comes... Tuesday is the first day of political grandstanding in the US Senate in the Year of our Lord, Two Thousand Aught Nine.

Roland Burris will be denied a seat in the United States Senate, despite he and everyone else on God's green earth knowing that no appointee of scandal-tainted Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich will get within throwing distance of proposing a bill or being designated legislative office space.

Burris' travel to Washington, D.C., and the circus surrounding it will be greater theater (This time of the political variety) than any former "Saturday Night Live" player could ever hope to be involved in — with the exception of Al Franken.

Yes, Stuart Smiley himself is poised to ascend to the Senate after a lengthy recount effort in his home state of Minnesota versus Republican incumbent Norm Coleman. The man who couldn't keep Air America out of bankruptcy is now set to help tackle the nation's massive economic crisis. Thankfully, he has a full slate of senators, the House of Representatives, all the president's men (mainly in Treasury and Commerce) and a slew of private businesses looking for bailout to help advise him on what's best for the taxpayers' money.

(I mean no disrespect to Mr. Franken. He seems like a decent fella, and I tend to think he'd be more honest in his dealings than Sen. Coleman... but the extent to which he has demonized Coleman in the past has bordered on obsession. We will soon find out if Mr. Franken is an able statesman or just a very good campaigner. Either way, it's no laughing matter.)

In the meantime, watch how Joe Biden, Ken Salazar and Hillary Clinton respectively spend their waning days in the Senate. Biden's headed for the Vice President's office, Salazar for the Interior Department, and Clinton to some faraway land to handle whatever global crisis crops up for the Secretary of State to deal with (it also wouldn't hurt if they could arrange a private fundraiser while she's there to help her continue to pay down her presidential campaign debt).

But never fear, Americans. All this hubbub will be extinguished in mere days when the inauguration occurs and the post-election hangover for Democrats wears off. This is the worst of times for the Democrats to be in the majority, with little money for the government to spend on respective members' pet projects. This is also the worst of times for the Republicans to be on the outside, looking in on power-broking, as they are generally the most-ardent supporters of cutting "waste" out of the budget (that is, to clear room for tax breaks for the rich and no-bid contracts to Halliburton, et al.).

But I count my blessings — today we are up in arms over Rick Warren performing the invocation at the inauguration. It wasn't all that long ago some crazy folks disrupted a Senate invokation by a Hindu guest chaplain.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-05T18:49:00.000-08:00

2008: The Year of the Reprieve

2008-12-22T20:59:00.001-08:00

I'm not willing to say this was the year "change" and "hope" swept in to save us (or at least make us feel better), so I will dub the past 12 months "The Year of the Reprieve."
• We endured a grueling political campaign season full of pandering, race-baiting, name-calling and empty rhetoric until Nov. 4 put the presidential race to bed, pacifying partisans on both sides of the aisle.
• Speaking of which, half of us shook in our boots at the prospect of Vice President Sarah Palin. Now that possibility is extinguished, that same faction looks forward to worrying in 2009 about Vice President Joe Biden.
• We struggled to pay the mortgage until the federal government decided they'd help pay to lower our rates.
• We paid upward of $3 per gallon for gasoline until the price of crude fell out with the rest of the global economy.
• We worried if our respective banks would go out of business until Hank Paulson and the Treasury Department propped them up long enough for the credit markets to thaw a little.
• We worried that the Beijing Summer Olympics would end in a mess of protests, pollution and Communist subversion. Thanks, Michael Phelps, for reminding the world that America is Numero Uno, never minding the fact the Chinese won more gold medals.
• We worried about the health of America's finances until the government passed countless bailouts, rescue packages and other economic goodies for Big Business (though some of us are still quite worried, and with good reason).
• We secretly wondered if a new Cold War with Russia was brewing after the struggle in Georgia until bigger news stories made the issue slowly disappear.
• We all fretted about al-Qaida and other Muslim extremists would gain more ground in Pakistan and Afghanistan until our political leadership decided to start the Afghanistan surge early.
• A few of us expected Hillary Clinton to turn into the Incredible Hulk after losing the primary election, rampaging through most the major cities until she got enough super-delegates (remember them?) to throw the Democratic primary into complete chaos. Instead, Barack Obama helped pay down her campaign debt and found a plum position for her at the State Department.

Here's to all the problems we're carrying over into the new year and all the myriad ways we'll try (and sometimes fail) to fix them.

Dear People of Los Angeles

2008-12-22T19:07:00.000-08:00

I recently learned of a change in a custodial agreement made in your fair city.
Jamie Spears, father of former pop princess and current burnout Britney Spears, is now to be paid $75 an hour to handle her affairs.
Ladies and gentleman, I will gladly enlist the help of two colleagues. Together, you will have a trio of trouble-shooters who feel no familial attachment to Ms. Spears. Additionally, we'd gladly split a $50-an-hour salary.
On top of this, we will see to it Ms. Spears never produces another comeback album for music critics to waste time panning and people with no taste to waste their money on.
Sure, this may cause a problem for the music industry, but we can always take brief vacations in which Ms. Spears is assured to raise enough hell to sell enough tabloids and magazines at grocery and retailer checkout lanes to more than make up for it.
In lieu of a $1,200 monthly payment to maintain an office, how about $600 to lease and fuel two mid-range vehicles to keep tabs on Ms. Spears?
I'm not good with math, but I have to imagine this scenario would be cheaper than the $16,000 being shelled out by you good people to corral and promote a washed-up pop star who would do well to find the phone number of a producer willing to make Ms. Spears center square on a new incarnation of "Hollywood Squares."
I await your response, Los Angeles.

Cinema Paradiso

2008-12-18T07:21:00.000-08:00

For at least the past eight years, I've tried my best to keep track of the films I've seen thus far in my life with a spreadsheet ranking them according to various rationales, litmuses, etc. Over time the list has been revised, amended and edited hundreds of times.

Earlier this week I realized I had not touched the list in almost a year, mostly due to the fact I had not seen more than six new films in theater in the same period of time. Now that I've seen the list fall into such antiquity, I have no choice but to try and update it.

Therein lies my problem. I don't know where to start, and I'm rediscovering the problems I had with it the last time my thoughts dwelled on it. For example:

Can I really decide whether "Dr. Strangelove" is better than "Lawrence of Arabia"?
Does a Wes Anderson film truly belong in my top five?
Am I comfortable enough to admit that "The Godfather" is much better than "The Godfather Part II" despite popular wisdom suggesting otherwise?
Is it wrong to have "Schindler's List" and "The Producers" next to each other?
How do I decide between half a dozen great Coen Brothers film, and how does one reconcile that their only Best Picture winner ("No Country For Old Men") may not even rank among my top five Coen flicks?

It's gotten so bad that I've listed the director of each film next to the title so I can go through the rankings and create a new list: My Favorite Films, by director. What have I learned from this exercise?

Steven Spielberg has made A LOT of movies better than "The Lost World."
"Blues Brothers 2000" shouldn't have been made.
Stanley Kubrick could have died before making "Eyes Wide Shut" and seem a helluva lot cooler.
Quentin Tarantino isn't nearly as prolific as most college-age males are led to believe.
Frank Darabont and M. Night Shyamalan are in career free-fall, having peaked in the 1990s and stooping as low as being most notable these days for cameos on "Entourage."

This is my hell. For the next few weeks (or months, who knows?), I'll be pondering in my free time whether "Silent Hill" is truly one of the worst films I've ever seen, or if I'm just quietly lamenting the reality that I haven't seen a film by a French director that I truly liked since "Delicatessen" (and even that one loses points over time because it was directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet, who was responsible for another of my least-liked films, "Amelie").

So say a short prayer for all the titles muddling through the middle of my list, left to chance whether they meteorically rise or fall: "Labyrinth," "Scarface," "Gross Pointe Blank" and "Million Dollar Baby." They can use all the help they can get.

You Play To Win The Game

2008-12-17T19:28:00.000-08:00

For those of you interested in Powerball, hold onto your freaking hats... the winds of change are blowing in lottery land.
Starting Jan. 4, 2009, more white-ball numbers will be added to "make the jackpots bigger," while at the same time some red-ball integers will be going away "to create more winners."
The Powerball Powers That Be say this will result in more than 3.5 million more winning tickets each year at the same level of sales.
Bigger jackpots and more winners... Sounds awesome, right?
The starting jackpot is getting a $5-million bump from $15 million to $20 million... so when you inevitably take the lump-sum payment right away, you'll be left with maybe $70,000 more after taxes come next year.... that's enough to pay a good accountant to handle your finances, or a bad lawyer to sift through all the lawsuits you'll be getting from people who claim they're owed a share of your winnings.

Enjoy (if you can)

2008-12-16T19:09:00.001-08:00

Courtesy of Al Crancer, who sent this cartoon to the Sentinel offices with what I'm sure were good intentions.

Holiday cheer

2008-12-08T20:16:00.000-08:00

A quick thanks to whichever member of the Aurora Police Department decided it would be nice to play Christmas music over the radio after 9:15 tonight. Quite honestly, I would be OK if they stopped airing emergency alerts altogether and put on some nice holiday songs from now until Jan. 1, 2009.

Any chance the criminals in Aurora could take a few weeks off to enjoy the holidays while the police scanner gets turned into a yuletide jukebox? That's my Christmas wish — sort of an indirect way of asking for peace on Earth and goodwill toward men.

Michelle Obama and The Bomb

2008-12-02T16:51:00.000-08:00

There are two* things on my nerves as of late:

1. The sound of the AMBER Alert. This sounds eerily like the nuclear bomb siren on Sid Meier's Civilization II, except now it emanates from television sets, the stereo in my car and anywhere else with a screen and a speaker. It's my own little red scare every so often, even though I know if there was an impending nuclear attack, there'd probably be precious little time to be occupied with worrying as the missiles head toward their eventual targets. We'll meet again / don't know where, don't know when...

2. "First Lady-elect." I know a lot of you took a long, hard look at your ballot to see where to mark your vote for Michelle Obama, but alas, she was not an official candidate during the 2008 elections. It's even a bit tenuous to suggest the first lady is anything more than an unofficial ambassador for the country, even though an entire branch of the Executive Office of the President is devoted to helping the spouse of the president play host to all sorts of foreign leaders and dignitaries. Still, no first lady has ever been elected to that post. Nothing is officially expected or demanded of the first lady in our Constitution. Admire her (and question her fashion choices) as much as you will, but for now can she just be "Michelle" and let us do away with the ridiculous (and wrong) "First Lady-elect"?

* - There are only two I care to share with you at this present time, on this blog. Dare I say, the number of things bothering me right now is far too high to expound upon without taking a few days off to detail them properly. Ain't I a cheerful fella?

The land of Freedumb

2008-11-29T07:26:00.000-08:00

The United States of America is no more; until things change, we're the land of Freedumb.

We're not so much a society of civilized beings as we are packs of hyper-sensitive balls of raging self-interest when news like Friday's comes down the wire: A worker is trampled to death by a throng of angery and eager Wal-Mart shoppers as the store opens for day-after-Thanksgiving deals in New York state.

Can we please now do away with the phrase "doorbuster deals"? Some people are starting to take it literally, but such is life in the land of Freedumb.

According to the story, other workers at the Wal-Mart were also stepped upon as they attempted to rescue Jdimytai Damour, a 34-year-old from Queens. People continued shopping. One can only thank one's respective deity that there were no Tickle-Me Elmo's or other must-have gift to fight to the death over, lest the death toll rise higher in suburbia.

When the store was closed to sort everything out, people screamed and cried out against the move. In the land of Freedumb, your sacrifice of standing in line for hours in the dark and cold entitles you to great deals, whatever the circumstances. It's surprising there weren't roving death squads in the line itself, eliminating potential competition for the last few Guitar Hero games. Of course I'm exaggerating, but not much.

Kimberly Cribbs, quoted in the story, had the best one-word explanation of the people involved with this affair: "SAVAGES."

Now capitalism is great. To paraphrase Winston Churchill, it's the worst economic system devised by man, except for all the others... But have the past few months taught us nothing about the effects of uncontrolled economic action by human beings? At the top, the executives will loosen some rules and flaunt the others in the name of revenue generation. At the bottom, the people who couldn't spend about $130 for the Nintendo Wii Fit kit before Thanksgiving are more than happy to wait in line for hours and kill for the chance of putting the discounted $100 version in their shopping carts and making a mad dash to the checkout lanes. How far away are we from all-out warfare in the name of Black Friday? Maybe people would be more orderly and well-behaved if half the store was booby-trapped to dissuade the chaotic, shove-a-stranger behavior that has evolved during the past few decades.

Let this sordid tale serve as reminder that things are not as bad as they can or should be. This isn't a scene out of "The Grapes of Wrath" or some other Depression-era story of people scrapping for food and work. And Rose of Sharon need not breastfeed any starving man as 2008 comes to a close -- all the major fast-food chains are beefing up their value menus to win the business of the credit-strapped masses. Even local barbecue joint Smokey Jackson's can afford to give away free Thanksgiving dinners to all comers -- not just the homeless, jobless or hopeless, but also the gumption-less. Makes me wonder why I spent hours brining and roasting a turkey when Smokey could have done the work for me.

And so help me God, I will be inconsolable if I start hearing about foreclosures surging between January and March as a result of people getting maxed out for the holidays. I'm not suggesting everyone take Christmas off, but if that new GPS unit plays a part in your SUV being repossessed, here's hoping that it works just as well as you walk to and from the bus stop.

Welcome to the land of Freedumb, population 305 million and growing.

Forget "Dream Ticket" -- Meet the "Dream Team"

2008-11-19T22:13:00.000-08:00

So, Democrats: Still smarting that you didn't get an Obama/Clinton or Clinton/Obama ticket to run this fall? I didn't think so.
Hillary Clinton supporters: Are you still worried about the kind of people Barack Obama is surrounding himself with in and around the White House?
Not only are Dems on the cusp of getting Hillary into the administration with a possible appointment as Secretary of State, but they're get a host of Democratic heavyweights at key posts in the Obama administration.

Attorney General Eric Holder: That's right, the guy who was working behind the scenes when Janet Reno was running the show during the Clinton administration (and I should note, the Monica/Ken Starr/Zippergate era of the second term).

Secretary of Health and Human Services Tom Daschle: A former US senator for the better part of two decades (and Senate Majority Leader for most of 2001 through 2003). He lost his Senate seat in 2004 by only 4,500 votes after the South Dakota Republicans threw everything they had at unseating him.

Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano: While not official as of this writing, this Western governor of a border state is expected to take the reins from Michael Chertoff and the Bushies. She's been named one of the five best governors in the United States by Time magazine, and is constantly rumored to be a contender to send John McCain back to one of his ~~seven~~ 10 who-knows-how-many homes when his Senate seat comes up for election.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton: This is the biggie, if it happens -- and all signs point to 'yes' at this point. I still wonder if she could swallow the fact she'd be serving at the pleasure of the man who kept her from winning the White House, but there could easily be something more complex going on than most would think. Is this the price Obama pays for Hillary not wrestling the nomination away from Obama with every trick in the book? Is the Obama administration just a third term for the Clintons? It wouldn't surprise me given the number of Clintonistas getting jobs from Obama.

So who else gets a shot at being a Washington insider? Based upon what we've seen thus far, here are a few of my guesses:

Secretary of Defense: I have to think there are two big names for this post who would sail through confirmation hearing: (1) Retired Gen. and former presidential candidate Wesley Clark, and (2) US Senator Chuck Hagel, who likely could land somewhere else on the Cabinet as a big-name Republican in a Democratic-controlled Washington. Also in the mix is retired Gen. Anthony Zinni should Clark or Hagel not want/be offered the job.

Secretary of Energy: I'm sure there are plenty of people here in Colorado who will be quick to suggest Gov. Bill Ritter because he can't finish a sentence without using the phrase "new energy economy." These people should shut their mouths and start practicing their best "Ahhnold" accents, because it's not crazy to think outgoing Calif. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger could lend his star power to an already star-studded Obama Cabinet. Don't expect New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson to be able to swallow his pride enough to do the same job he had in the Clinton administration after being snubbed for Vice President (and Secretary of State, most likely).

Secretary of Veterans Affairs: A man who is eminently qualified (he's done the job before) and not currently working in Washington is former US Senator Max Cleland. A darkhouse candidate would be US Rep. Ike Skelton of Missouri, a Truman Democrat who has been representing Missouri's 4th District quite capably for the past 31 years. But I doubt there's any reason for him to leave his chairmanship of the House Committee on Armed Services.

Secretary of the Treasury: William Ayers.... JUST KIDDING! I don't buy the talk of Warren Buffett for this post for one minute, as eye-catching as those headlines would be. I think the safest pick Obama could make would be former Fed Chairman Paul Volcker. Don't rule out former Harvard President Larry Summers, who's already on the inside as part of Obama's transition team dealing with economics.

So who gets left out? Probably Colin Powell, who looks like he's going to be edged out for another possible go as Secretary of State thanks to Hillary and Richardson. Add John Edwards to this list, for obvious reasons. Unless some super-special post covering climate change is created, expect Al Gore to continue with his current day job(s).

Who's left who needs/deserves a job but no logical choices come to mind?

US Sen. Claire McCaskill was a vocal supporter of Obama, and a newly elected Democrat governor in Missouri could replace her with another solid Dem (like Robin Carnahan, daughter of Jean and the late Mel Carnahan) should McCaskill get a federal job. I've heard some people say she's in line to replace Howard Dean as party chair for the Democrats, but I don't buy it. But anything's possible; I'll say Secretary of Transportation given her Senate Commerce subcommittee experience.
Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius has somehow managed to win over enough moderate Republicans to be in office as long as she has, but she worked as hard as anyone to get Barack Obama elected (even though John McCain won her state with a double-digit margin). Maybe she ends up heading the Secretary of Education?

"Sweet" Caroline Kennedy helped deliver Joe Biden to the vice presidency; does she, then, get a nice government post delivered to her? Is her next job the stepping stone to eventually replacing her uncle in the US Senate from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts?

WWLD?

2008-11-05T09:43:00.001-08:00

I've seen one too many articles, electoral cartoons and other noise this morning about how Abraham Lincoln would be heartened by the election of Barack Obama. I won't go as far as to say that Lincoln didn't care about black people, but the ideal of him as the Great Emancipator is not one earned by his intentions. Take note of this Lincoln quotation:

"My paramount object in this struggle is to save the Union, and is not to either to save or to destroy slavery. If I could save the Union without freeing any slave I would do it, and if I could save it by freeing all the slaves I would do it; and if I could save it by freeing some and leaving others alone I would also so that. What I do about slavery, and the colored race, I do because I believe it helps to save the Union. I shall do less whenever I shall believe what I am doing hurts the cause, and I shall do more whenever I shall believe doing more will help the cause."

Just like John McCain, Lincoln was more concerned with winning a war than losing a political victory (i.e. the emanicipation of the slaves). And don't make me go into detailing just how much good the Emanicipation Proclamation did for those in bondage throughout the Confederacy (Hint: Not much).

I'll expound on this at some later date, but for now I will try to drown out the Obama-Lincoln talk with this cartoon from Pat Bagley of the Salt Lake Tribune of Obama fist-bumping Uncle Sam:

Thanks to be given

2008-11-03T14:29:00.000-08:00

For all the name-calling, smearing, race-baiting and ageism the 2008 presidential campaign has produced on behalf of the major-party candidates, there is one bit of truth I read today in an Associated Press story by Ted Anthony that just astounds me:

"In a country accustomed to low voter turnout, apathy has not been a problem this year."

Until now, I had not known an election year where there was a shortage of pundits decrying the lack of interest in the election, on any level, by any group of people (usually young adults).

My only worry is that the historic nature of this presidential campaign is the motivating force for this increased interest, and that future campaigns will not live up to this level of political engagement for the average American. But if there is one thing I am hopeful for in this electoral season, it is that I am mistaken in this regard — that the metaphoric wave of a surge we've seen, in the everyman's desire to be informed and active in the political process, will not break on the shores of Nov. 5, but rather continue on for days, weeks, months and years to come.

So to everyone who voted early and took their civic duty seriously, thank you.
To everyone who will be making to the polls on Nov. 4 to exercise their rights, irrespective of their political leanings, thank you

Electoral Vote Projection: Oct. 31, 2008

2008-10-31T10:20:00.000-07:00

2008-10-30T00:20:00.000-07:00

In case you missed it, here's the pre-taped portion of Barack Obama's big commercial that played on NBC, CBS and Fox Wednesday night. Each ended with a live segment from a rally in Florida (although the Fox version was not truly live, as they waited until after the conclusion of Game 5 of the World Series to broadcast the ad).

I think this ad did more good for the Obama campaign than bad.

The negatives? It's another opportunity for John McCain to label Obama as an untested, camera-ready celebrity who's flaunting campaign finance rules by dropping millions of dollars on an informercial with less than a week before Election Day.

Do these negatives actually stick though? McCain has yet to really tie the massive fundraising figures Obama has received to any nefarious subjects; he's gone down the ACORN fraud route but hasn't hit it home as much as most of his conservative constituents would hope he would.

The positives? Obama deflects part of the "celebrity" knock against him by highlighting the stories of average Americans (dare I say, the proverbial Joe the Plumber?). At the same time, Obama can claim he's not so "unknown" and mysterious when he bought a self-aggrandizing 30-minute commercial spot on three of the four major broadcast networks.

For all the Obama devotees who have grown weary of hearing the words "Ayers," "socialist" and "untested" over the past few weeks, I think the commercial was a reminder of what they saw and heard at the DNC at Invesco Field.... at the 2004 DNC during the keynote address. They rediscovered Obama the Communicator, the Obama they fell in love with weeks, months and years ago.

This election is no longer John McCain versus Barack Obama. This election is between Barack Obama winning a majority and Barack Obama winning a mandate for his much-heralded "change."

Let's wax a little economic, shall we? When publicly-traded companies release earnings reports and other economic data each quarter, the short-term fate of their respective stocks rests solely in the hands of the expectations of The Street. If you beat expectations, it's payday because everyone backs up the truck (as Jim Cramer would say) and goes straight to TRIPLE BUY. If you only meet or miss those same expectations, you are adrift as an organization and investors lose confidence faster than a Kansas City Chiefs quarterback.

What does it all mean? It means that unless Barack Obama doesn't win in something close to an Electoral College landslide, he's Barack Obama, the guy half the country hated. If he scores uncontested victories in states like Virginia, North Carolina, Colorado, Missouri, Ohio and Montana, he's Barack Obama the Unifier -- a true man of the majority with the backing of a decidedly Democrat Congress that can do what it wants, when it wants to whomever it wants to. Drill, baby, drill? Only if it's on teeth as part of an Obama-approved healthcare reform package.

Of course, this is assuming Obama plays by "the rules" -- rules that say your political swagger is dictated by your margin of victory. These rules were officially broken in 2004 when George W. Bush decided that beating John Kerry by about 30-something electoral votes. Honestly, you could make the case that when the President of the United States is a half-black guy raised by his grandparents who is widely believed (among certain circles) to be an Arab Muslim, the very fact he was able to get elected in a nation where racism still runs rampant and unashamed (within certain circles) is reason to act like you've got political capital to last you through your lifetime.

But those rules, as I said, are broken and left in shambles for Obama to either piece together and repair -- or to walk all over, just as Bush did. If the rules still applied, the Democratic surge in Congress would have brought an end to the military surge in Iraq along with the rest of the American military occupation of a nation at war not only with itself but also its occupier. Of course, we committed more lives and resources toward Iraq despite a broad slate of new congressmen and congresswomen elected mostly on the promise of bringing an end to the war in Iraq and the reining-in of Generalissimo Bush and Imperator Cheney.

Obviously Obama is not content to just win. This campaign is not going to "run the clock out" on John McCain and Sarah Palin -- I won't call it bloodlust, but they are definitely hungry for the complete and utter humiliation of the Republican ticket at the polls -- red states, blue states and all places in between. Need any evidence of this? After not saying a word about Sarah Palin when asked directly about her qualifications during one of the three presidential elections, the Obama campaign came out with the following ad:

John McCain willingly climbed into the campaign coffin and layed down when he chose Sarah Palin despite her inexperience, without regard for her questionable travel expenses, her husband's secessionist views, her underage daughter's pregnancy and her decidedly non-maverick political beliefs -- the question now is how many nails Obama and Biden can find and hammer into the lid of that coffin between now and Nov. 4.

Mike Singletary for President?

2008-10-28T07:17:00.000-07:00

I think John McCain could go out, deliver this exact speech and even up his standing in the polls... Maybe even ditch Sarah Palin, put Singletary on the ticket and win in a landslide.

Electoral Vote Projection: Oct. 28, 2008

2008-10-28T06:57:00.000-07:00

With one week to go, here's how I think it all goes down. Colorado will give Obama either 270 or 271 electoral votes (depending on how Maine and Nebraska pan out), clinching the victory before even hitting Pacific Time.

Check us out

2008-10-16T16:22:00.000-07:00

Check out the new and improved AuroraSentinel.com today!

Live Blog: Final Presidential Debate

2008-10-15T18:03:00.000-07:00

• Why is each candidate's economic plan best?
— McCain invokes the ailing Nancy Reagan and says America is justifiably angry — but he "won't repeat" the specifics of his plan except for his $300-billion mortgage rescue plan. Uses the phrase "homeowners first." 'Country' must feel slighted.
— Obama says the bailout was a "first step" and says taxpayers should get their money back. Says there's no relief for the middle class, then talks about stopping outsourcing, his tax cut plan and dipping into IRAs. Says a homeowner rescue is needed... just not McCain's version. Then expounds on education, energy and healthcare as "long-term" issues on the economy — a bit of a reach.
— McCain counters saying Obama's tax plan prevents/makes it harder for people to own/operate small businesses.
— Obama says both candidates want tax cuts — just that he wants to cut for the middle class, McCain wants to cut for the rich. Haven't we heard this before? At least we get a new character in this election: "Joe the Plumber." Is he related to Joe Six-Pack?
— McCain claims Obama's plan is wealth redistribution. Isn't that what government is at its most basic level?

• How do the candidates respond to report that says they add to the deficit, not decrease it?
— Obama says getting money back on bailout is key. "Adjustments" to the budget? Cut insurance company subsidies (a "giveaway"). Doesn't get any more specific on cuts, but says that America must "invest" in energy and healthcare to save later (Ed: No one wants to admit you have to spend money to make money, including Sen. Obama).
— McCain shifts back to the homeownership issue — by that, we mean his most-basic talking points: Home values help boost jobs. We need nuclear power. Stop sending money to countries that don't like us. Energy independence. The "hatchet" spending freeze first, then "the scalpel" Obama prefers. The specific cuts McCain actually mentions: Tariffs on sugar cane-based ethanol, the marketing assistance program, and sweetheart deals to jet builders.
— Obama says spending freeze is irresponsible and that focusing on earmarks alone "won't solve the problem." B. Hussein's history lesson: Clinton created a surplus, W. doubled the deficit, McCain will bring more of the same.

• Can either of them balance the budget in four years?
— McCain SCORES!!!!! "If you want to run against President Bush, you should have run four years ago." Great line, but it's far too little, too late. McCain says "the hatchet and the scalpel" both work. Says he fights against all sorts of spending. How many times will we hear McCain say "fight," "fighter" or "fighting" tonight? The sky's the limit.
— Obama tries to prove he's a maverick by sticking up for tort reform and charter schools and clean coal againt the Dem leadership. Says it's easy to confuse McCain and Bush on spending and finance.
— McCain goes to a subtle playing of the POW card early: "I've got the scars to prove it." True, he wasn't talking about a torture camp, but it's hard to deny the imagery it produces.

• The nasty campaign rhetoric: Will you denounce it?
— McCain says if they had townhall meetings, things wouldn't have gotten so bad. Some "regret," lots of unacceptable words, and then takes Obama to task for not denouncing Congressman John Lewis. "Very unfair, totally inappropriate." Vows for a "truthful" campaign (Ed: Better late than never, I guess). Calls Obama a liar for not accepting matching funds/public campaign financing.
— Obama says "100 percent" of McCain's ads are negative — I don't buy it, but I do buy the notion that McCain and Palin are subtly race-baiting. "Three weeks" of nasty campaigning by McCain is better than "four more years" of Bush-esque policies from McCain. Obama says he looks forward to debating the issues, not the name-calling and guilt-by-association games.
— McCain says Obama's attack ads on McCain's healthcare and immigration policies are untrue, and that his "unprecedented" spending is a fault.
— Obama essentially says Palin is complicit by not stopping the rabid rally attendees. Obama says some things Lewis said were over the line, but not all of it. Blames McCain for the cynicism among Americans when it comes to the political game.
— McCain is "proud" of his rally attendees, even if they threaten to assassinate Sen. Obama. Also, most of them are veterans and beyond reproach, "great citizens."
— Obama says issues must be king to end two wars, the financial crisis and every other issue facing the American people.
— McCain says ACORN is destroying "the fabric of democracy."
— Obama addresses the Ayers connection directly. I don't see how McCain continues to harp on this now — but I think he can win a lot of votes with the ACORN scandal if he tones down his rhetoric. Then Obama tries to deflect the blame from ACORN to the people they hired to register voters — I don't know if this will help, but it's the best he's got, I think. But if he can keep talking about who he does trust (Luger, Biden, etc.), it might hold up.
— McCain keeps saying "all the facts" need to come out on Ayers and ACORN, but that his campaign will focus on finances and our children.

• Why is your VP a better possible president than your opponent's VP?
— Obama says Biden's foreign policy experience is king, he fights for working families and remembers where he comes from. "The little guy." Biden "shares ... core values" with Obama. He really doesn't say a single word about Palin.
— McCain says Palin is "a role model to women and reformers." Tax cutter, took on the good ole boys, "cronyism." Why won't he say "maverick"?
— Obama is asked if Palin is qualified... he won't touch that question with a 50-foot pole (or a Bridge to Nowhere, if I say so myself).
— McCain acknowledges he thinks Biden is qualified, but wrong. That's a lot easier to say than "Sarah Palin doesn't belong anywhere near the White House, let alone a campaign for the White House."

• Energy and Climate ~~Control~~ Change (Thanks, Sen. McCain)
— McCain says we can ween ourselves of Middle Eastern and Venezuelan oil... and that nuclear is perfectly fine — our Navy servicemembers use it to move their ships that carry the planes that Obama says are used for "air-raiding villages and killing civilians." (OK, he didn't say all that right then and there, but he wanted to).
— Obama concurs with McCain's estimate without saying he agrees, but says we have to stop borrowing money from China. OK.... But boost domestic production on lands already owned and "look at" offshore drilling.... BUT WHAT REALLY MATTERS: solar, wind, biodiesel, etc.
— Obama thinks free trade is nice, but it hurts when China plays games with its currency and South Korea beats the pants off us on auto exports one on one.
— McCain calls out Obama on saying he'll consider offshore drilling when we all know he'd rather drink a barrel of crude than give any concessions to the "Drill, Baby, Drill" crowd. Also says free trade creates jobs — he's right, but those jobs are probably in Colombia, not America.
— Obama says free trade must be balanced with protecting foreign workers who get slaughtered by corporate-linked hit squads when they try to organize in Latin America. Also, only helps out Big Auto in Detroit if they're moving toward cleaner, fuel-efficient vehicles to aid in the quest for energy independence and new jobs.
— McCain juxtaposes Obama's dislike of ultra-free-trade agreements and the "no preconditions" diplomacy plan. I don't know if anyone buys it.

• Health Care: What to do?
— Obama says the woes of the current system on everyday Americans will break your heart — and that he won't do anything except try to lower the cost or allow average Americans to buy into a federal pool. Cheaper drugs, less bureaucracy, better chronic illness management and prevention — maybe he does have a plan to fix health care after all.
— McCain agrees the cost is a major problem. Walk-in clinics, fight obesity with physical education and nutrition, gym incentives and his REFUNDABLE $5,000 TAX CREDIT. Essentially tells people to move to Canada or England if they like Obama's single-payer plan.
— Obama says healthcare will become too expensive for most employers under McCain's plan, and then they'll be left with the REFUNDABLE $5,000 TAX CREDIT (and it'll be taxed, too). I'm somewhat surprised McCain hasn't flip-flopped on this yet, because he's losing on it.
— McCain now says Joe the Plumber is rich. I honestly don't know where this is coming from. Congratulations, Joe. Can I bum a $20 off you?
— Both McCain and Obama both smile WAY too much while the other is talking. They respectively look like a high school debater just itching to say something after hearing their opponent fumble an issue. It's smug and slightly arrogant. Ralph Nader and Bob Barr would never do something like that.

• Would either candidate nominate a judge who disagreed with them on abortion?
— McCain said he'd never impose a litmus test, and that he voted for people he didn't totally agree with because they were qualified... and then said Obama voted for Justice Breyer... ummm, errrrr.... (Here's a hint: Obama never had a chance to vote on Justice Breyer. Breyer was appointed in 1994; Obama joined the Senate in 2004).
— Obama acknowledges his stance on abortion rights but doesn't say much about judicial philosophies. He also doesn't take McCain to task on the Breyer vote/non-vote.
— McCain harkens the "Obama voted 'Present' 8 million times in the Illinois statehouse" line. Also says Obama voted against saving the lives of babies of failed abortions.
— Obama says the bill wasn't about saving lives, but undermining Roe v. Wade. Obama may have gone too far into talking about abortion for someone who, by all acounts, could coast to an easy victory. He suggests there's common ground between pro-rights and anti-rights groups — I don't buy it, and I generally think there's always some small bit of common ground between all groups: Israelis and Palestinians, Republicans and Democrats, Hatfields and McCoys.

• FINAL QUESTION: Lots of education spending, lots of education failure — how do we fix it?
— Obama says education is key to economics and national security. How to fix it? Money AND reform. Early-childhood education investments is the starting point. Recruit more teachers, especially math and science, and give them incentives to do well. Make college affordable to produce smarter workers who will innovate.... but PARENTS must work harder.
— McCain says it's "the civil rights issue of the 21st Century." (Sorry, gays who want to get married... but you weren't banking on McCain now, were you?). Charter schools and firing bad teachers will save us. "The school of your choice" and educational "competition" will produce better education, and not "throwing money" at the problem — yet we will somehow "reward" good teachers (With lollipops, I assume).
— Obama says local control is a great tradition, but the federal government must "step up" in funding. Says Bush tried it but didn't give any money with No Child Left Behind (Accountability without rewards — essentially what McCain just said). Obama likes charter schools, he says... interesting. And Obama hates bad teachers... and the idea that vouchers will save us.
— McCain says Obama ignores the success of D.C.-area school vouchers program. McCain says US education is "a system that cries out for accountability." Obviously he doesn't know about No Child Left Behind — but he knows about vouchers, and he says they work.
— Obama says they don't.... it's charter schools that work.

• CLOSING STATEMENTS
— McCain says "America needs a new direction" and that he will differ from the past eight years of the Bush administration, he will take on his own party... He still hasn't said "maverick." Why no "maverick"? I'm starting to lose faith in the idea that he's a "maverick." Says Americans must "trust" the best candidate with their tax dollars. The "Country First" line gets in there, and he invokes his family as reason to vote for him.
— Obama says Washington hasn't been able to reform to prevent the financial crisis we're in. I heard the phrase "fundamental differences" ~~one~~ 1,000 times too many in these debates. He actually asks for people's votes and vows to work tirelessly every day.

• QUICK ANALYSIS
McCain won the debate, but Obama already won the election, even if a couple thousand "Joe the Plumbers" decide to vote for McCain because of tonight. McCain can win thousands of votes and a few states between now and November 4 if he focuses on ACORN and keeps saying that Obama wants to run against President Bush and not Senator McCain.... but it's too little, too late based on my thinking.

No mention of "flouridation"

2008-10-13T10:15:00.000-07:00

The newest attack ad against John McCain -- this time from the League of Conservation Voters -- has a Strangelovean feel to it. It bashes the GOP presidential hopeful for wanting to renegotiate the Colorado River compact to bring more H2O to Arizona and California.

The end of the ad accuses McCain of trying to "take our ~~precious bodily fluids~~ water." This isn't the first time a public official has been involved in a water-stealing scandal.

"Let's go and get drunk"

2008-10-12T23:00:00.000-07:00

School's out ~~forever~~ at least through Tuesday at Grandview High School.

Plenty of students made it out to see the SUV that scored them at least one more day of weekend before classes resume/the building being deemed safe.

My two favorite quotes from the night?

"Let's go home and get drunk." (Ed's note: Wonderfully cliche)

"F**k this, I'm dropping out. I don't feel safe here anymore." (Ed's note: Judging by the size of the homes, the two-mile radius around Grandview High School is still probably the safest part of Aurora, if it really is part of Aurora. I was "welcomed" to the city three times on my way back from Liverpool and Smoky Hill all the way to Alameda and Buckley.)

Liquidity

2008-10-08T20:42:00.000-07:00

Aurora Water's Wemlinger Water Treatment Plant recently won the Excellence in Water Treatment Award from the American Water Works Association.

What does that mean? According to the site, it means they completed the"four phases of the Partnership for Safe Water program." If I knew more about what that meant, I'd let you know. All I know is that my water tastes OK and it hasn't made me sick recently — and this award isn't for clean water, but for the process used to clean it. Maybe I'm splitting hairs here, but it's late and I'm talking about the American Water Works Association — I could just as easily be rambling about toxic chemicals in Chinese chocolate, or how everything "The Onion" prints eventually comes true, or why Scipio Africanus > Hannibal Barca.

What They're Saying

2008-10-06T16:36:00.000-07:00

Aside from Kimbo Slice losing to some kid no one's ever heard of (thanks in large part to the referee interfering), and the latest "SNL" sketc... er, Tiny Fey Love Fest, you should note the Dow Jones Industrial Average lost 800 points today, then somehow regained ground to finish only 300-some points down for the day. I blame it on people waiting for the Dow to hit 9,000 points before they start buying again; in reality, the reasons are myriad and far more complex for any human being to truly understand.

But the brewing political news is the Obama campaign's Keating Five offensive on John McCain:

At the same time, McCain outright called Obama a liar today.
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This should make for a wonderful debate Tuesday night. My best efforts will go into bringing (or attempting to bring) a live blog of the second presidential debate to you, the Sliced Bread reader, in coherent and slightly amusing fashion.

Better than the original, and vice versa

2008-10-05T19:02:00.000-07:00

Nice example of a cover song being better than the original: Rod Stewart's "Handbags and Gladrags" redone by Stereophonics. Experience for yourself:

Of note: The Stereophonics version, as some of you may know, is the theme song for the British version of "The Office." Unfortunately for NBC, the original is still the best when it comes to the TV comedy (but I have to imagine they're laughing all the way to the bank.)

Live-blogging the VP debate

2008-10-02T18:03:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: Looks like people are calling it a tie. Some people say a tie is really a win for Sarah Palin based on the lowered expectations. I'm starting to think the McCain campaign pulled the wool over our eyes by making her look like an idiot in the Katie Couric interviews, only to emerge as semi-coherent during the debate. Now she can go back into her no-questions-please comfort zone from here to November. Joe Biden never got too rough on her, as some pondered. All the TV pundits I heard today suggested undecided voters and registered independents favored Biden over Palin based on the debate, but how that translates into how much they like John McCain or Barack Obama, respectively, remains to be seen in my mind.

8:30: Biden says America's been "dug into a very deep hole" and that Obama-Biden measures progress based on everyday folks, not CEOs.

8:29: Palin says the debate lets her speak straight to the American people, unfiltered and free to the mainstream media's bias.

8:28: Palin says we should work for "the greater good." Add that to the bailout bill, and some folks will start think we're turning into a Leninist state.

8:27: Biden questions judgement, not motives.

8:26: Palin says her biggest regret was not cutting taxes more.

8:25: Biden says he had to change his view on judges based on partisanship... that gives the GOP plenty of ammunition to say Obama/Biden supports "activist judges."

8:22: John McCain something something maverick. Alaska something maverick.

8:19: Sarah Palin says her executive experience and connection to "the heartland of America" will help her be a good vice president — but her ability to quote Ronald Reagan might be her best asset when it comes to winning votes.

8:15: Palin as VP would lead on energy and government reform. Biden as VP would be the cracking whip on Capitol Hill and an adviser.

8:12: Palin just tried to score the memorable line of the night: "Say it ain't so, Joe, there you go again." How long do you think she was waiting to spring that one on the world?

8:07: Palin says "John McCain knows how to win a war." I hope she's not referring to Vietnam.

8:04: Palin invokes John Kerry's flip-flop on the authorization of force in Iraq in attack on Biden.

7:55: Palin acts surprised to hear Biden is a supporter of Israel, and she was just *tickled pink* about that development.

7:54: To both trained and untrained ears, Palin is doing hundreds of times better than her interviews with Katie Couric.

7:51: Half of the e-mails sent out by the McCain campaign to our newsroom during the vice presidential debate... well, our spam filter labeled them as "Junk." Tough critic, these computers, eh?

7:49: Palin says Obama's stance on diplomacy with dictators is "dangerous."

7:48: Sarah Palin just said Gen. Petraeus and the leader of al-Qaida should be trusted equally.

7:47: Biden says Pakistan is the immediate threat, not Iran, then says McCain believes Iraq is more important in the war on terror than Afghanistan and Pakistan.

7:44: Palin is repeating the Biden sound bite about being proud to serve on a McCain ticket and using it as if it's a point of policy debate.

7:43: Palin says the Democrats' plan is "a white flag of surrender."

7:41: Asked about the US exit strategy in Iraq, Palin only attacks Obama's opinion on the troop surge and troop-funding votes, although she does hint the exit plan is to move troops to Afghanistan. (Biden says he "didn't hear a plan" in Palin's response).

7:39: "I'm being as straight-up with the American people as I can." — Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin

7:37: Biden says Obama administration will grant same-sex benefits, invokes constitutional right. Palin says she would not support expanding Alaska's same-sex benefit policy to the rest of the United States.

7:34: Biden attacks McCain's record on alternative energy votes, while Palin counters that "Drill, Baby, Drill" is the GOP's rallying cry.

7:31: "We're not giving oil companies tax breaks." — Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin

7:29: Biden somewhat dodges the bankruptcy bill question, but still touches on it before moving into talking about the subprime crisis. (DIRECT QUOTE: "Your ticket's energy ticket." — Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin)

7:27: Sarah Palin just answered a question about bankruptcy laws without mentioning bankrupty laws at all.

7:24: Palin claims Obama helped pass the energy bills with tax breaks for Big Oil, then goes through her record as a regulator and governor in Alaska (Says she had to "undo" the damage).

7:21: Biden lays out the McCain healthcare credit plan, namely the $7,000 divide between the credit and the average cost of a healthcare plan — then caps it with a "bridge to nowhere" jab at Palin, which the crowd audibly reacts to.

7:19: Sarah Palin, whose familial assets total $1 million, just claimed she's middle class.

7:17: Biden says middle class will be focus in new tax system, while McCain would boost corporate tax breaks.

7:15: Does the Alaskan government do anything? Because it sounds like Sarah Palin cut every tax known to man. Look out: Gwen Ifill cuts Palin off and Palin doesn't keep talking.

7:14: Palin says "the people's side" is tax cuts and that government must learn to "live with less" — and that Barack Obama votes to raise taxes (Biden calls her on it).

7:12: Biden hits on McCain's deregulation philosophy and ties it to healthcare — Joe's sounding very reserved and not nearly as forceful as he usually does.

7:10: Palin says Joe Six-Pack's everywhere need to band together to not get tricked by risky loans and not "be taken advantage of" — a sweet way of saying everyday Americans are, in fact, to blame on some level.

7:09: Palin says America is "craving new energy" — and she doesn't mean renewables.

7:08: Biden plays the "McCain thought the economy was strong" card, while Palin says McCain was referring to American workers, not the American economy.

7:06: Sarah Palin wants us to poll the soccer moms and gauge their "fear," points out Sen. McCain's push to do something about Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and gets the "country first" slogan into her first response.

7:04: Joe Biden blames the economic crisis on an "excess of deregulation" and the eight years of Bush policies, then lays out his candidate's insistence on homeowner relief, oversight, etc.

Washington is broken...

2008-10-02T12:43:00.000-07:00

...or at least its websites are.

I'd like to see Congress add a small appropriation to address the overloading of congressional websites. After numerous claims from people that they could not use their representatives' website to send a comment or concern, I tested it out myself with little success of getting any message to US Rep. Ed Perlmutter of Colorado's 7th District.

Short of wasting some poor office clerk's time on the phone to let Rep. Perlmutter know how I think about the bailout bill awaiting a House vote later this week, there's little way to delivering an immediate constituent sentiment short of going down to a local Perlmutter office and wasting someone else's time during this economic crisis (not to mention an election season, as well).

Homer votes for Obam... D'oh!

2008-10-02T10:23:00.000-07:00

Not sure what this is supposed to mean. Homer Simpson is a well-intentioned idiot. Is his vote for Obama the "well-intentioned" part or the "idiot" part? I have to imagine the Simpsons writers meant the former yet didn't realize they could be insinuating the latter.

Me? I'm waiting to see who Tony Soprano votes for:

Senate Bailout Debate Scoring Rubrick

2008-10-01T15:15:00.000-07:00

If you've been watching or have watched the US Senate's debate on the proposed economic bailout measure, here's how to score the speakers:
• +5 for saying you saw the credit crisis coming, unless you specifically did not.

• +3 for Democrats who invoke Barack Obama's hope for politicians "coming together" to solve the problem.

• +7 for expressing anger, disgust or any other extreme emotion over being forced into voting for such a socialist measure, and then voting for it.

• +20 for Republicans who vote no.

• -10 for not mentioning oversight or taking away CEOs' "golden parachutes."

• +3 for taking the blame off the free market and putting it on greedy Wall Street insiders.

• - 2 for spending most of your speech talking about how long you were on the banking subcommittee or related legislative body.

• EVEN for blaming the other party for not passing the legislation that could have prevented this crisis.

• +3 for saying "Fannie Mae" and "Freddie Mac" at least five times in a speech.

• -3 for saying "Fannie Mac" or "Freddie Mae" at any time.

• +4 for wearing an American flag lapel pin during your speech.

• +3 for justifying going over your time limit because of "the severity of the crisis facing us."

• - 3 for not going over your time limit and diminishing the tension leading up to the vote.

• +5 for invoking the anger of "Main Street" Americans over the bailout of Wall Street.

Who's laughing now?

2008-09-29T11:54:00.000-07:00

Right now, four of the top six videos viewed today on YouTube are related to the Sarah Palin/Katie Couric sketch from the Sept. 27 episode of "Saturday Night Live."

At the same time, the stock markets — already taking a huge hit over the past few weeks — was in freefall today. The Dow Jones Industrial Average lost about 325 points in less than 10 minutes, and any gains made after it bottomed out have since trickled away. The closing bell can't come soon enough. And all of this is over word that the bitterly divided House of Representatives did not pass the financial rescue bill.

While I still don't know definitively how I feel about the bailout plan yet, I have to wonder at what point people begin asking if forgoing the $700-billion plan will be worth it when their retirement accounts dwindle to next to nothing thanks to the markets' woes. Is making this ideological stand against a relatively socialist economic plan in a time of emergency really justifiable when the US Congress and the Bush administration have shredded key parts of the Constitution during the past seven and a half years in the name of national security?

Maybe those statements are a bit harsh, but I don't necessarily endorse them just yet. There's a large part of my being that just wants to say, "Burn, Wall Street, burn," and let's build things back up properly once all the failed financial gambles have come to pass. Maybe then those who play with the markets will do so with less reckless abandon, knowing that there will be no government handout waiting for them, no safety net resting to catch them as they fall from grace.

But whatever the case, these times are almost too serious for us to be caught up with "SNL." And for the record, Tina Fey is easily the most over-rated comedian on television today — and Amy Poehler hasn't been funny since "Upright Citizens Brigade." There, I said it. The hoopla over Fey/Poehler has reached JibJab-ish levels — they could spend all 90 minutes of "SNL" reading a William Makepeace Thackeray novel backwards and in Yiddish and people would still run to their co-workers on Monday morning and exclaim, "Oh my God, did you guys see what they did this week?" Sure, Tina Fey has a great impression and Palin's interview was ripe for parody and/or satire, but sometimes people just get way more credit than they deserve — and that may be the best explanation of why we're in this financial emergency.

In Case You Missed It...

2008-09-29T09:44:00.001-07:00

Sir! We have a plan!

2008-09-25T14:27:00.001-07:00

UPDATE: Looks like the House Republicans finally have something to say and are holding up any deal that exists to be done. I figured these guys would be treated as if they'd gone off the reservation for standing up to the bailout, but apparently John McCain joined them in spirit, using the old "Main Street folks will suffer" line. I know how I feel about the prospects of the federal government bailing out these companies, and I know there's more than a few political leaders who shudder even thinking about enacting that kind of legislation, but I never guessed it would amount to anything. Consider my political radar completely off the mark — but this is coming from someone who thinks John McCain has a very good chance of becoming the next President of the United States. Anywho, enjoy my earlier ramblings and the "Strangelove" clip.

So the cream of our political crop has done something today in regards to the "serious economic crisis" facing the United States.

If anyone can explain to me what actually got accomplished today, I'd appreciate it.

Here's a list of verbage I've heard or seen for what's been achieved:

A "tentative accord"
A "tentative meltdown deal"
An "agreement in principle"
A "rough outline"
A "framework"
A "rescue plan"

What does it all mean, Basil? It means that Bush, McCain, Obama, Pelosi, Boehner and Reid all got together to make sure everyone was clear on one subject: Everyone will secretly hate the bailout plan but ultimately push it through, swearing not to call any political rivals for their support of it despite everyone thinking its the most socialist act by the federal government since The New Deal era.

Still confused? The bailout package, whatever it ends up being labeled, is the new Patriot Act. Everyone will vote for it without really reading it as thoroughly as they should. It will be heralded as an unquestionable piece of legislation that only a communist would dare think about pondering its worth. Then in a few months when the obvious flaws of the plan come to light, half the politicians involved will renounce it a la voting for the authorization of force in Iraq — the administration duped us, the intel was bad, everyone else did it, etc.

So how should you proceed in this new political landscape while the US economy remains in turmoil? The photo at the top of this post should give you an idea:

My 10-Point Bailout Plan

2008-09-25T07:03:00.000-07:00

1. All executives from bailed-out investment banks will be forced to work in seafood restaurants and dress like pirates.

2. To curb excesses, employees of bailed-out institutions will now be paid according to the federal General Schedule, just like their friends at the Securities Exchange Commission.

3. Alan Greenspan will be barred from speaking publicly until he leaves this plane of existence.

4. John McCain will no longer play the POW card in regards to anything remotely related to economics. In return, Barack Obama and Democrats will stop reminding people that McCain, as late as last Monday, believed "the fundamentals of our economy are strong."

5. Presidential candidates who suspend their campaigns less than two months before the general election must forfeit all fundraising to legally restart the race. All funds raised to that point will be used to pay off campaign debts, with any surplus going to pay down the national debt.

6. Treasury Secretary Henry "Hank" Paulson will switch places with former Treasury chief Robert Rubin, putting Rubin back into politics and Paulson as head of Citigroup. Richard Rubin will continue appearing in music videos while wearing fur coats and hanging out with Vincent Gallo.

7. A group of national legislators and journalists, to be named at a later date, will take turns satisfying former President Bill Clinton's ego by asking him his opinion on everything.

8. George W. Bush will be required to have whomever wrote his Sept. 24 primetime address to the nation be his full-time speech writer from now until when either of them leaves this plane of existence.

9. David Letterman will start being funny again.

10. The FreeCreditReport.com Guy and the old Ditech.com Loan Guy will fight in a Death Match. The proceeds of the betting on said Death Match will benefit lifting Wall Street from the brink of collapse.

Poor choice of words

2008-09-24T16:52:00.000-07:00

A "financial Pearl Harbor"?
Really, Warren Buffett?
While the financial crisis in the United States has already shown what it can do to the investment banks and how its effects are resonating with investors, is it really fair or prudent to call this a "financial Pearl Harbor"?
Let's examine:

If he means to suggest we could have seen it coming and should have done something more to prevent it or at least mitigate the damages, I'd say he's right.
If he means to suggest that it was precipitated by actions by the United States or US agents, he might be right.
If he means to suggest it will draw us into a larger conflict, I don't follow.
If he means to suggest the Japanese are behind our economic failings, I say he's still living in Ronald Reagan's America.

Is this a warning from Buffett? Is the current economic situation just the start of something even bigger? That's what his allusion would suggest. While a federal bailout of numerous US financial institutions constitutes a sea change in US policy, I don't know if it is historically analogous to the attack on Pearl Harbor.

Quick Hits

2008-09-20T08:00:00.000-07:00

Is the Palin e-mail hack just further evidence of how a McCain-Palin administration will turn over vital functions of the government (such as private communications) to private companies?

With only a handful of investment banks still standing independently of a bankruptcy filing or a government bailout, is a Morgan Stanley-Wachovia deal next?

How should Joe Biden feel about getting so little press these days when the attention given to GOP rival Sarah Palin skews far more negative than positive? I say I've got a debate to watch on Oct. 2 in St. Louis. (P.S. - Invite Wayne Allyn Root, Colorado's own Brian Rohrbough and Rosa Clemente just for skits and giggles).

God save Levi Johnston. (And for the record, Maher loses me when he starts talking religion. If anyone say Friday's "Real Time," you noticed than self-proclaimed Britwit Andrew Sullivan lead the charge against Maher on his own show when the host started to promote his new film, "Religulous." I guess he got tired of will.i.am just sitting there, trying to look like he was enjoying the rhetorical banter and secretly bemoaning the fact he'd have a hard time taking the transcript of the show and turning it into a viral video hit.)

Worth reading and certainly worth disagreeing with is this post from Wizbang, which essentially says the backlash against fervent, left-wing bloggers and other online commenters will galvanize support for John McCain and Sarah Palin. There are some interesting statistics in the article, but how they truly add up to support this argument is beyond me. Take note of this excerpt: "[t]here are Republican trolls as well as Democrat trolls, and Conservative trolls just as there are Liberal trolls, though it does seem to me that the Liberal variety breed a lot more."

Madden Curse Reversed

2008-09-10T10:06:00.000-07:00

I'm calling it: The Madden curse has been lifted.

Maybe the Football Gods misfired when they sent Bernard Pollard crashing into Tom Brady's left knee and leaving him with a season-ending anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) tear.
Was that bit of misfortune intended for fellow AFC East offensive general Brett Favre?

At this point, it seems as if all quarterbacks are getting a dose of damnation; perhaps the Football Gods are angry at their erroneous dispatching of Brady and taking it out on the rest of the league. For example:

Brody Croyle will miss a week with a shoulder injury.
Cowboys QB Tony Romo took one on the chin in their Week 1 win.
Chad Pennington was forced to endure a loss at the hands of his old team.
Titans QB Vince Young has something wrong with him.
Jeff Garcia's ankle is questionable for next week.
Peyton Manning ended Sunday night with a lower QB rating than Kyle Orton.
The Rams' Marc Bulger looked as bad as he ever has in Week 1.

So look out, NFL quarterbacks. The odds are against you; if Brady can't be healthy, no one is safe.

Show us what you got, Sarah

2008-09-04T18:12:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling bad, because I know I didn't devote as much venom to the Democrats as I'm currently sending in the GOP's direction, but I find the following needs saying on my part:

Being on a winning high school basketball team doesn't qualify you for higher office.
Marrying your high school sweetheart doesn't make you a good leader.
Having values doesn't make you a proven agent of change.

I don't want to say Sarah Palin is unqualified to be a candidate for vice president. She may very well be eminently qualified, but the Republicans aren't saying much about the things that make Gov. Palin a good choice to join John McCain on the campaign trail as a prospective member of the Executive Branch.

The conservative pundits in the above video clip have identified it as both "narrative" politics and "gimmicky." I can't say I disagree. I look forward to learning about where the candidates stand on the issues, not how many kids they have or how many kids their kids have.

Let's make public the same info John McCain used in picking her for the GOP ticket for the public to decide whether she and McCain are worthy of our votes.

McCain: What might have been

2008-09-04T17:57:00.000-07:00

If only John McCain had joined the Air Force.
Right now they're playing Kenny Loggins' "Highway to the Danger Zone," one of the pinacles of the "Top Gun" soundtrack.
Add in the fact he's considered a "maverick" in the political arena, and you'll find yourself with a couple of RNC organizers who feel really slick about their clever tune right now.

By the way, supporters of John "McNasty" McCain have given up their "Country First" and "Prosperity" signs for Thursday night's festivities and taken up "Peace" signs... how soon they want to see that peace occur remains to be seen. It might take a while to bring home our troops from Iraq with victory, as McCain consistently has pledged.

The measure of a celebrity

2008-09-03T20:19:00.000-07:00

OK, John McCain can play the POW card all he wants, but the whole "celebrity" knock on Obama officially died tonight with John Rich bringing his latest tune to the RNC stage.

When someone writes a song about you and there's a music video for that song, you can't claim to be the simple, plain-talkin' public servant who doesn't need Hollywood or pop stars to make the case for your campaign.

I present for you now, "Raisin' McCain" and "Yes We Can" in their full glory:

It comes down to this

2008-09-03T18:51:00.000-07:00

Enough with the conventions, the speeches, the looming debates and the negative ads.
Let's settle this with a game of HORSE for the presidency.
Barry "O'Bomber" Obama vs. Sarah "Barracuda" Palin.
I will pay good money to see it happen.

UPDATE — Just a few quick thoughts about Wednesday night at the RNC:

• Linda Lingle, governor of Hawaii, played the POW card during her speech. She remarked that John McCain was suited to lead because he understands "hardship" like few others can. It's true that McCain spent years in a POW camp, but the "hardship" Lingle was referring to was economic hardship facing millions of American families today. In this respect, it's not quite known what kinds of hardships Senator McCain has faced.

• Mike Huckabee won my respect again for saying John McCain was his "second choice" for president. You've gotta love someone having the fortitude to say something like that after the GOP threw Huck, Romney and Ron Paul under the bus to make McCain their man.

• I'm pretty sure Rudy Giuliani ad libbed his speech (few scripted references to "9/11") — and it probably suits him better. Why? I won't say — but if I did, it would be with a terrible lisp.

• Cindy McCain seems to have adopted the Palins as her own family after ignoring her own half-sister.

More later following Sarah Palin's speech.

Watching the old dog's new tricks

2008-09-02T19:31:00.000-07:00

"He will win who, prepared himself, waits to take the enemy unprepared."
— Sun Tzu

Forget Barack Obama's rock-star status or the media frenzy that surrounded the Democratic primary contest that kept Hillary Clinton supporters on the edges of their seats for about three months longer than they should have.
The Republican Party is the one with the real energy.
It's the Grand Old Party that's turning heads and hitting hard with the element of surprise.

Let's start with the nominee: Sen. John McCain, who was all but written off after the Iowa caucuses, somehow managed to dispatch up-and-coming conservative heavyweights Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee, in large part thanks to one-time frontrunner Rudy Giuliani failing epically by focusing all his attention on Florida and then throwing his support behind McCain at a critical juncture.

Move ahead a few months and Obama is the clear winner in the Democratic primaries. Ever the soldier (as his campaign will have you believe), McCain and the conservative crowd went on the offensive, coming out early and negative against Obama. For a campaign that was over-matched in fundraising versus the Democrats' standard bearer, it was a bold move to spend so much so soon.

Move forward again to Friday, Aug. 28. Fresh on the heal of Obama's primetime speech at Invesco Field, McCain pulls off the biggest surprise of the year (and likely of his political career) in naming Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin — runner-up in the Miss Alaska pageant, a former sportscaster and mother to an unmarried, pregnant 17-year-old daughter — as his running mate, only the second time in US history a woman has been on a major-party presidential ticket.

Take a slight step forward to the Republican National Convention, as organizers essentially scrap the first day's schedule in light of Hurricane Gustav in the Gulf Coast region. A day later, Giuliani was removed as keynote speaker for Tuesday's festivities; instead, the evening was turned over to actor Fred Thompson (a former US Senator) and current US Senator Joe Lieberman to rally the gathered throngs for McCain as staged photos of the GOP nominee-in-waiting played on the large video screen behind them like the professionally designed PowerPoint presentation it was. Did Giuliani do something wrong to be bumped? Probably not; he likely just wasn't macho enough to hammer home the evening's message (Which is saying a lot when you consider the alternative is Joementum).

So what's the next surprise in store for the GOP to keep us all guessing and steal the spotlight away from Obama-Biden `08? Some have speculated that Palin will be forced to withdraw from the campaign a la Thomas Eagleton thanks to all the dirt that's been revealed about her family, her governorship and just about anything you can think of that would be potentially harmful to one's political career. This way, McCain enjoys the benefits of having nominated a woman without actually seeing her through the general election. I hate to be crass, but this wouldn't be the first time the senator has committed to a woman and left her for someone else.

Enjoy the silence?

2008-09-02T16:13:00.000-07:00

Can anyone explain to me why the only bit of news worth mentioning out of Iraq in the past few days has been the shifting of power from US to Iraqi forces in Anbar province?
Surely something has to be going on worth making the Associated Press news wire.
Is the secular fighting over? Can the troops come home?
No, it's just convention week for the RNC — and no news out of Iraq is good news, some might suggest.
OK, one ridiculous conspiracy theory a day is enough for me.

The broken, the beaten and the damned

2008-08-24T16:02:00.000-07:00

OK, I know I said I was going to stick to posting election/convention news only over at Aurora Votes, but I'm just saddened by the display seen in downtown Denver today and felt that this was a far more appropriate venue to make the following point:

To the kids protesting in downtown Denver with no discernable cause, chanting "No presidents, no wars" and deliberately trying to cause traffic issues: There is no revolution. It might be cute to light a joint and scream about how we live in a police state, but where were you a week ago? A month ago? A year ago? No, you just want some media attention; unfortunately, some small amount will be given to you before everything is said and done. If you want to expand your mind and spirit, learn shame — it may make you rethink your actions.

To the other protesters with actual causes: Good for you, but make damn sure you're voting this November — otherwise, you're perpetuating a culture of revolt that is not grounded in a desire for real change, an ugly exercise in futility.

To the police officers: Good luck, be gentle.

Maybe everyone should just meditate.

End-of-summer "vacation"

2008-08-22T22:06:00.000-07:00

Sliced Bread will be kicking back in the pool for the next week as I divert my efforts to covering politics over on our Aurora Votes blog. That will be followed by a lengthy decontamination process to remove the stench of hippie protesters and liberal elitism (together, they're a mixture of days-old patchouli and and fresh caviar) after braving downtown Denver in the beginning, middle and end of convention week. By that, I mean I'm going to Cripple Creek to enjoy some mountain air and maybe find a poker table.

Check out Aurora Votes throughout the weekend as we occasional provide updates from Denver and our own brand of political analysis. I'll be updating you on the big blogger and VIP gathering at Elitch Gardens on Saturday evening -- assuming the rich, delectable catering doesn't send me to bed early with a full stomach.

Until then, the Dude abides.

Leave the gold, take the cannoli

2008-08-15T10:03:00.000-07:00

How much stock should we put in the times being posted by Olympic swimmers during this summer's Beijing Games? Everyone and their mothers* are tearing down Olympic and world-best marks left and right.
The balls are juiced.... er, the pool is juiced.
I'm not one to question the authority of an NBC swimming commentator, but I'm pretty sure that there's either something funny in the water in Beijing (Anyone for a dip in the Yangtze?**), or the pool is juiced.
The stories about the Water Cube all point to the later: Wave dissipation, less turbulence, more speed.
They say all the major Olympic-sized pools used for world competition have this kind of technology available to them, but do they actually have it?
Let's, for a moment, just put aside the fake fireworks, the fake singer and the indifference toward the age rules for the women's gymnastics squad on the part of China. This is about the biggest story of the Games: Michael Phelps and his quest for eternal glory... err, beating the Mark Spitz mark of seven golds in a single Olympiad.
I'm not doubting Phelps is an absolute beast in the water, but at this point, the level of expectation is not just to win eight gold medals in Beijing, but to also shatter the world record each and every time he's in the pool. God help him if he doesn't do it in the 100-meter butterfly and the 4-by-100-meter medley relay this weekend.
If he does or doesn't, may I propose: The records set at Beijing get the asterisk treatment until someone shows the marks can be bested outside of the Water Cube.

* - Just kidding; I'm only referring to Dara Torres.
** - I know the Yangtze doesn't go through Beijing; don't downgrade me on geography, I just don't think the average person can't relate to any geographical/historical features in China beyond the Great Wall, the Yangtze, the Forbidden City and the Terracotta Army of Qin Shi Huang.

ALSO: Here's a heightened expectation for the entire country -- the U.S. contingent cannot consider themselves the medal winners just based on total medals. They need more gold than China. As of Friday morning, China is annihilating everyone else in the race for golds with 26; the next three countries combined (USA, Germany and Japan) have 28, with the USA totaling only 14 at this time. Like Ricky Bobby's daddy told him, "You're either first or you're last."

CU Regent race shake-up

2008-08-13T19:51:00.001-07:00

According to a tip from an Aurora legislator, the race for the 7th Congressional District’s seat on the University of Colorado Board of Regents has a new face.
Monisha Merchant, previously a candidate to replace current state Rep. Karen Middleton on the state Board of Education, is stepping into the race after Denver attorney Patrick Mulligan ended his campaign due to “unforeseen circumstances.”
The info on the newcomer: Merchant, 31, of Lakewood, currently works as director of product development at Level 3 Communications in Broomfield. She also has been selected as a delegate for the upcoming Democratic National Convention. Both Monisha, and her mother Mona, previously lent their time and support to US Senator Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign.
Calls to Merchant on Wednesday evening for comment have, as yet, gone unreturned.

"Thomas Snot": 1951 - 2008

2008-08-12T09:49:00.001-07:00

I hate for this blog to grow on this theme, but another death to report: Joe "Snot" Kudla (on the right) died Monday, Aug. 10. Kudla was half of the comedic duo of Puke n' Snot which performed together for more than 30 years across the country, most notably and recently at the Colorado Renaissance Festival.
Now, I've never been the kind to be absolutely ga-ga for Ren Faires in general; they're mostly a proving ground for terrible anachronisms, and even then I often find the Renaissance to be the middle child of history (I'll admit, I'm a Roman and modern American history geek). What the hell is that guy doing dressed as Capt. Jack Sparrow from "Pirates of the Caribbean"? Why are there so many skinny guys trying to dress up like Henry VIII? Why do all these women feel the need to show more of their cleavage than ever before seen under the sun?
That bit of begrudgery behind us, Puke n' Snot were a marvelous comedic team -- some of the best ribald ribbing I've seen this side of the Mississippi. Between them and the copious amounts of grilled and smoked meats you can get on a stick, I had few other reasons to like the Renaissance Festival -- OK, the location at Larkspur is quite idyllic, too.

Isaac Hayes: 1942 - 2008

2008-08-10T18:01:00.000-07:00

The song is "Soulsville," because you already knew "Theme from 'Shaft,'" and you likely know Chef from "South Park." This is the Hayes you should remember just as well.

Bernie Mac: 1957 - 2008

2008-08-10T18:00:00.000-07:00

*WARNING: Nasty language from the Mac Man.*

Take that, Becks

2008-08-06T23:13:00.001-07:00

Everything is right with the world now.
As stupid as Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers front office looked through the long ordeal of Favre's un-retirement, the best possible solution was worked out late Wednesday night when Favre was traded to the New York Jets for a conditional 2009 draft pick.
Why am I so pleased with this outcome? The reasons are quite simple:

It finally gives Aaron Rodgers the shot he deserves at showing he's a quality NFL starting quarterback. Look no further than Tony Romo to see that the bench guy today is the future of your franchise.
Brett Favre gets to play football, lest his ego go unsatisfied while waiting for the key grip or prop master grill him for autographs while doing another Wrangler commercial.
Wisconsin gets to sober up and realize there's life after Brett.
New York tabloids get to throw around funny headlines like "Jet Favre."
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell can go back to suspending minorities at the drop of a hat and ignoring the fact that the Adam Formerly Known As Pacman has served his year off and still hasn't received reinstatement.
America sticks it to Britain once again.

Wait.... what?
That's right, Favre to New York is a slap in the face to footballer extraordinaire David Beckham. Remember how big a deal it was that Becks and his Spicewife Victoria were coming to America for him to kick around a ball in soccer-sized stadiums across the country? The Favre drama easily eclipses it.

Let's examine:

Beckham went to LA. Favre went to New York. ADVANTAGE: FAVRE
Beckham has no World Cup wins. Favre has a Super Bowl win. ADVANTAGE: FAVRE
Beckham was washed-up upon going to Hollywood. Favre is washed-up upon going to the Big Apple. ADVANTAGE: FAVRE (Beckham was washed up at 32; Favre is 38)
Beckham is married to Posh Spice. Favre is not. ADVANTAGE: FAVRE
Favre is on the cover of Madden 09. John Madden doesn't even know what soccer is, let alone who this bloke Beckham is. ADVANTAGE: FAVRE
People expect Beckham to win. People expect Favre to find a quality nursing home in the next few years. ADVANTAGE: FAVRE
Favre now faces off against Tom Brady twice each year. Beckham gets his mani/pedicures at the same salon as Tom Brady. ADVANTAGE: FAVRE

The sins of the son

2008-08-05T19:17:00.000-07:00

How is anyone supposed to pick a decent political candidate these days? The flip-flopping done by John McCain and Barack Obama are enough to drive a man to vote Libertarian, or worse: Ralph Nader.
With fewer discernible differences between the candidates these days, I have devised an easy way to decide who to vote for: Whose kid has the classiest social networking profile.
This comes upon news that US Senate candidate Bob Schaffer (R-Colo.) is being harangued because his son, Justin Schaffer, posted some images on his Facebook profile that most people who don't use Facebook would find offensive.
That is to say, Justin Schaffer — a college student — did what most college students (and young adults) do these days: Outfit their online presence with bits of humor that are geared toward young adults. The risqué, bawdy and ribald are all fair game on MySpace, Facebook and other social networking sites — and all are great fodder for trying to smear a political candidate with children or relatives somewhere in their teens and early 20s.

Schaffer the Younger, in particular, had images loaded into his 'Bumper Sticker' application that expressed a unique brand of conservative Republican humor:
• Suggesting Barack Obama is gay and that he bears an uncanny resemblance to Count Chocula.
• Envisioning Jesus Christ as a gun-toting businessman, draped in the Confederate flag.
• Reveling in the idea that wonders such as the Egyptian pyramids were accomplished through the use of slave labor.
• Advocating motorists work harder to mow down slow children.
• Remind people of how funny Jeff Dunham's horribly racist "dead terrorist" puppet is.

Is no one going to get outraged by the photo of two pieces of halo-adorned crap fornucating (Labeled "Holy f----ing sh-t")? How about the photoshopped image of Barack Obama in Arab garb? Or the animated penis from "South Park"?

While it's a horribly over-used excuse, but kids will be kids. It's just a matter of knowing what is acceptable and what's out of bounds. A bunch of 16-year-olds getting smashed at a kegger and then driving 90 mph in residential areas in between make-out sessions with community college dropouts is something to come down on hard. A bunch of stupid college humor posted on a college student's Facebook profile? It's nothing more than a small piece in a cheap political game being played by people too embroiled in getting someone elected to see what really matters in this world.

Where's Morgan Freeman when you need him?

By the way, how is one to assess this bit of humor from the Adams County Republicans? Better or worse than Schaffer the Younger's Facebook flap?

"Dear Abby,
I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas, who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth. One of my sisters lives in Pflugerville and is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas. I have two brothers: one is currently serving a life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview. She is a part time 'working girl'.

All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. My question is: Should I tell her about my son who supports Barack Obama for President?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation!"

Dem Veepstakes Ver. 3.0: The Shortlist

2008-08-04T19:15:00.000-07:00

I'm narrowing down ole Senator Obama's choices to occupy the Naval Observatory and break ties in the Senate. I've ditched the odds because they change too often and I don't want to be made a fool of when another prospective VP declares he/she won't accept the nod:

Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine: White? Check. Virginian? Check. Catholic? Check. Speaks Spanish? Sí. Others need not apply, says the political currents.

Former Sen. John Edwards: Has to refute tabloid rumors if he's to stand a chance.

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson: Friendly, but doesn't help as much as once thought.

Ret. General Wesley Clark: Too close to the Clintons to serve Obama outright?

US Senator Chuck Hagel: Ultimately hinges on if the DNC can live with a GOP VP.

Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius: No. No. No. Really, what did she do for all this buzz other than campaign for Obama? McCain might win Kansas by a bigger margin if she's on the ticket.

US Senator John Kerry: Enough flip flops to outfit every Olympic athlete's foot thrice over.

US Senator Hillary Clinton: Just kidding, Hils. Try to look happy come convention time.

God help us

2008-08-04T17:32:00.000-07:00

• Morgan Freeman is one tough 71-year-old.

• Tuesday's Aurora Sentinel features a good AP story about how higher gas prices have prompted many people to opt for mass transit for their transportation needs, and how at the same time, transit authorities are cutting back on routes to deal with their own increased fuel spending. Lots of riders, not a lot of buses and trains to get them all where they want to go.

• Rick Reilly has really let himself go since leaving Sports Illustrated. Sure, he waxed familiar in his first column for ESPN the mag, a spiel about learning who his father was through the game of golf. But his subsequent efforts (Golfing with Charles Barkley, comparing Brett Favre to Cher, and making fun of other countries' national anthems) just don't seem to be up to speed with the kind of sports writing that made him his ~~millions~~ hundreds of thousands. Plus, he co-wrote "Leatherheads," and while I didn't see it, it's supposed to be one of those George Clooney movies that suck, like "Batman & Robin" and ~~"Intolerable Cruelty"~~ (Sorry, I just can't bring myself to besmirch a Coen Brothers film).

• Crude is getting cheaper, and the prices at the pump seem to finally be responding to the drop in trading prices we saw back in early July. This only means one thing: Time to stockpile as much fuel as you can while prices are so low, sending a surge of demand into the marketplace and triggering another record-breaking burst in prices.

• "Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part." <--- I figured this was a much better quote than asking a fat kid if he smokes crack over and over again in "Lean on Me."

QB Lemmy brings football back

2008-08-03T17:18:00.000-07:00

My inability to care about watching Jim Sorgi lead the Indianapolis Colts versus the second- and third-stringers for the Washington Redskins in the Hall of Fame Game tonight was briefly suspended when remembered half a handful of K-State alums (Rock Cartwright, Kevin Huntley and Rob Jackson) are on the 'Skins' active roster.

Other NFL ponderings I have pondered now that professional football not played in an arena is back on television:

• Shut up, Brett Favre. Yes, you probably could play for the next 10 years to varying degrees of success... but you retired. It's Aaron Rodgers' turn at the helm in Green Bay. Considering Favre has now been reinstated and will eventually show up for camp to take his physical, I hope he gets shipped to Tampa Bay, New York, Minnesota or wherever he's bound as soon as possible. End our long, national nightmare.

• Through this whole Brett Favre fiasco, did anyone notice X-Games 14? I barely did, but only to measure this year's worst wipeout (Danny Way flipping over on the way down in the Big Air) versus one of the best I've ever seen (Jake Brown falling 40-plus feet after hitting a 720 in the same event at X-Games 13).

• I vow to not stop watching any KC Chiefs game after I've started watching it.

• I do not vow to watch any KC Chiefs games this season.

• I cannot wait to see a brand-new slate of completely brilliant and never-overplayed Peyton Manning commercials. Will they give him a full beard this season? Will any of them come near the mastery that is this commercial for AT&T? The answer is out there.

• Can Motorhead possibly sound better than when it's sung by a Japanese cover band? The answer is, "No. It cannot." Sorry Lemmy — time to call an audible.

Housekeeping

2008-08-03T16:42:00.000-07:00

Do I wish I could have a cool-sounding excuse for not updating the old blog since early July? You bet your horse I do.

No, my computer didn't melt in the summer heat, nor did my desk get blown away during the first few weeks of tropical storm season... And Ryan Seacrest cornered the market on getting bit by a shark during Shark Week.

No, fate conspired to have me continue on with my normal work duties while also taking on 99.999 percent of all my household's duties while my better half recovered from pneumonia over the past few weeks.

But now I vow to make a concerted effort (i.e. it's a slow day with plenty of free time) to catch up on posting here, starting tonight and continuing on through the coming days, weeks and whatever other longer interval of time you can imagine.

GOP Veepstakes Version 2.0

2008-07-09T16:47:00.000-07:00

John McCain still has time to decide, so here's my new predictions so he doesn't have to think about it any further:

Former Mass. Gov. Mitt Romney: 2-1 (Best choice to reinvigorate the conservative crowd)

La. Gov. Bobby Jindal: 3-1 (GOP heavyweights are busy hyping him something fierce)

Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty: 4-1 (Still plenty of buzz, but what does he add geographically?)

Florida Gov. Charlie Crist: 6-1 (Doing everything in his power to boost profile, including getting married — to a woman, no less)

Former NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani: 8-1 (A 'thank-you' gift from McCain for helping him secure the nomination?)

Former Ark. Gov. Mike Huckabee: 10-1 (Now working as a contributor for Fox News, which should destroy any credibility a politician [or journalist] has left)

US Senator Jim DeMint: 12-1 (Who?)

Sec. of State Condoleezza Rice: 20-1 (Can she point to any single success as Secretary of State?)

Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr: 30-1 (Poor man's Mitt Romney — meh)

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin: 40-1 (You know how much McCain likes younger women)

Actor Fred Thompson: 50-1 (Another GOP stalwart who likes 'em young)

Former Fla. Gov. Jeb Bush: 50-1 (Pretty certain he can't be worse than his brother[s])

Cyclist Lance Armstrong: 100-1 (Someone the late, great George Carlin could do without)

Dem Veepstakes Version 2.0

2008-07-09T16:22:00.000-07:00

About a month has passed, so here's my revised odds on who Barack Obama will choose to share the ticket with him come this November:

Former Sen. John Edwards: 3-2 (Slowly warming to idea after initially ruling out spot)

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson: 2-1 (Obama's electoral map sees blue states out West)

Ret. General Wesley Clark: 4-1 (Still the safest pro-Clinton choice available)

US Senator Chuck Hagel: 5-1 (The Obama candidacy makes history again with GOP VP)

US Senator Hillary Clinton: 6-1 (Doesn't paying off her debts = No guaranteed VP spot?)

US Senator Joe Biden: 8-1 (I like him, but the "East Coast Liberal" tag might hurt)

Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius: 9-1 (She can't deliver KS, but she might bring out women)

Montana Gov. Brian Schweitzer: 20-1 (Who?)

NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg: 25-1 (Is there anyone who really likes him?)

US Senator Evan Bayh: 30-1 (The poor man's Wes Clark has missed his shot)

Former Va. Gov. Mark Warner: 50-1 (Probably will stick to his US Senate campaign)

US Senator James Webb: 100-1 (Says he won't accept No. 2 spot even if offered)

Electric mayhem

2008-06-25T20:38:00.000-07:00

By this point you've likely gotten a glimpse or two of the major lightning activity that happened across Aurora on Wednesday evening. We're now getting multiple reports via police scanner of grass fires in the area, many of which — I think it stands to reason — could be sparked by lightning strikes.
A lot of the calls are situated at the Aurora Reservoir, this year's Parade of Homes sites and other areas in southern Aurora. If you have any incredible photos of the electrical activity in the skies from tonight or the possible grass and brush fires, e-mail me at charrop@aurorasentinel.com for possible inclusion in an upcoming edition of the Sentinel or online at this blog or www.aurorasentinel.com.

Aurora on the 'Tube

2008-06-23T11:28:00.000-07:00

Here's a no-handed ride on the mechanical bull at Stampede:

The apocalypse is nigh, honk if your horn is broken

2008-06-23T02:23:00.000-07:00

Here's all the proof you need to know we're living in the End Times, wrapped up nicely into one jumbled headline:

Comedian Carlin dead...Gas prices up...Ted Haggard returns...

I'll also cite Italy's tragic 4-2 loss on penalty kicks to Spain following a 0-0 draw in the quarterfinals of Euro 2008, despite a tremendous save by Gianluigi Buffon on the fourth kick by Spain. It seems somewhat analogous to when the New York Giants made it to the NFC Championships (denying the big Cowboys-Packers matchup many wanted) and the Super Bowl (denying Brett Favre a chance to win one last ring and dethrone the then-unbeaten New England Patriots. No one gave the Giants a chance of winning then, and I think a lot of people (that being of those who care about soccer and are following Euro 2008) give Spain a snowball's chance in the finals should they advance past injury-ravaged Russia.

Still with me? And yes, the news is true: The man, the legend, the mouth -- George Carlin -- passed away Sunday at the age of 71. The AP says it was heart failure; he'd probably have something absolutely filthy and hilarious to blame it on. I won't make my weak attempt to guess what brilliant thing he would have said; no one came close to doing what he did in comedy. Richard Pryor was one of the greatest, but he and Carlin were two great souls separated by comedic stylings.

Maybe I exaggerated about the end of the world being right around the corner, but I'll only admit this to reference Carlin once more: "The planet is fine. The people are f***ed."

Today, in honor of George, try not to reference the bad movies Kevin Smith convinced him to take part in (This includes all Kevin Smith movies Carlin has been in except "Dogma"), or emphasize how ironic it was he did an HBO special called "Life is Worth Losing" (because it's not ironic, as George would be quick to point out), or yell out "RUFUS!" in your best Keanu Reeves and/or Alex Winter voice. The man deserves better. Go listen to "A Place for My Stuff" from start to finish, or see if anyone has managed to borrow "Brain Droppings" from the local public library yet. Find some old Lenny Bruce material and imagine what it did to George's impressionable mind back in the day.

By the way, gas prices are up and Ted Haggard is back in Colorado Springs. Not exactly Armageddon, but I'll keep the threat levels raised to yellow or DEFCOM 2 or something.

Beasley's got jokes

2008-06-18T11:06:00.000-07:00

Now I don't want this to turn into a sports blog, but I just had to share this bit of digital video from ESPN with the masses of my man, K-State's Michael Beasley, preparing for the upcoming NBA Draft.

Rocco's gonna be angry

2008-06-18T08:53:00.000-07:00

So today comes word that Tiger Woods -- you know, the best athlete in the universe if golf is in the equation -- will miss the rest of the season because he needs reconstructive ACL surgery after his marathon playoff-win at the US Open, which itself came after months of downtime following arthroscopic surgery on his left knee in April.
I think this changes the script.
Before, Woods was a courageous warrior, fighting through pain following the April operation to once again beat the field in amazing fashion.
Now, some will paint him as a selfish star who risked his long-term health, who threw caution as carelessly into the air as if he were watching tiny blades of grass to gauge the wind during a Pro-Am. And others will say he robbed the 45-year-old Rocco Mediate of his last, best chance to win a Major (Don't worry; he's also a decent poker player and the World Series of Poker Main Event is just around the corner).
Maybe Tiger cares; maybe he's devastated by this turn of events and absolutely regrets risking the entire season to make one tournament.
But does he have to? Should Tiger care? He could have retired years ago and lived quite comfortably on his winnings and endorsement money. Tiger isn't competing against the current crop of PGA talent; and I don't even think he's competing against history -- if he stays healthy, he will shatter every record in the book for tournament wins, Major wins, etc.
History is not Tiger's opponent -- his own human frailties are. He probably has a number in his head of how many times he can win in his career, and today it must seem far more difficult in his mind to reach that magic number while faced with the prospect of being on the mend for the rest of this season.
But as Kevin Garnett said, "anything's possible."

UPDATE: Here's a key point I was pondering at the time but failed to type. From the ESPN message boards:
"The PGA, USGA, Nike, and Buick just crapped their pants. Golf (viewership) will be down 50% or more for the rest of the year. Whatever stations paid big bucks for The Open Championship, the PGA Championship, and The Ryder Cup, are sobbing right now."

Much ado about much a-done

2008-06-17T12:55:00.000-07:00

It's fun being a media critic.
Maybe I'm biased as a member of the media, but if I were to take potshots at very easy targets, my shortlist would include the Bush administration, journalists and the New England Patriots.
And while Jack Schafer of Slate.com is one of the more even-handed media critics, it seems unnecessary to take NBC News to task for over-covering the death of "Meet the Press" host Tim Russert (and Schafer almost admits as much at the end of the column, so keep the venom to a minimum).
If Russert had been a major network anchor, this question over overdoing the coverage of his death would be a non-issue.
As it were, I think most would agree that Russert was the closest thing you can get to being a star in the world of broadcast news without being an anchor. No, he wasn't Brokaw, Jennings, Rather, Anderson Cooper or Wolf Blitzer — but he was pretty darn close.
Furthermore, just about all the praise heaped on Russert by the likes of Brokaw, Mike Barnicle and other fellow colleagues rings true to me as a viewer who did not know the man personally.
And to top it all off, Russert came off as just as humble about his own work as he seemed knowledgeable. Maybe he knew no shame in his support for his beloved Buffalo, N.Y., sports teams, but his approach to news, politics, journalism and people in general was as genuine in its earnestness and honesty as anyone could ever imagine.
Is it news? Maybe not. But will we ask that question the next time some cable news channel runs more than 30 seconds of its newscast on Amy Winehouse, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton or the like.
The better question to ask: Is it merited? I'd say so.

The censor through time

2008-06-16T07:38:00.000-07:00

Between 578 and 535 BC (thereabouts), a guy by the name of Servius Tullius (who may or may not have been born a slave) rose to become the sixth King of ancient Rome. Far more likely is that Servius was a soldier, possibly a mercenary, who surreptitiously ascended the throne as the second Etruscan to do so. (That's Servius there in the middle, about to be murdered by his son-in-law, Lucius Tarquinius Superbus, at the behest of his daughter).
Anywho, among Servius' many contributions to Rome -- reforming the army, overhauling Rome's "constitution" and better defining social classes and tribal divisions -- was that he instituted the first census.
Now, he didn't walk door to door asking how many children you had; the Roman census was far more thorough -- it was more like a mini-inquisition into the personal lives and finances of anyone who is anyone in Rome. Senators were expected to have a certain standing in the community when it came to money -- if it were deemed they did not meet the criteria, it was likely they could soon find themselves out of power.
The census derives its name from the verb "censere" -- "to judge."
Can you see where I'm going with this?
Hop in the time machine with me about 2,500 into the future, to right around the present day. The Roman Empire is the stuff of history books and HBO series -- some blame the Christians (Thanks in large part to Edward Gibbon, author of one of the most overread Roman histories of all time). But I digress.
All this was inspired by a post by my old friend Logan C. Adams at Area Voices. His paper was inundated with the same letters to the editor I was as of late, all from seemingly upset people about a new TV show on CBS called "Swingtown" [Which coincidentally (not ironically) has been directed by Alan Poul, who helped direct HBO's "Rome."]
Many people who loudly proclaim their faith and values say that "Swingtown" violates their local community standards and should be taken off the air. For full disclosure, the show does appear to be about couples who engage in the swinging lifestyle.
A lot of people I've heard talk about this outcry against "Swingtown" are apt to say some pretty mean things about the groups trying to take "Swingtown" off the air, regardless of whether the show has any artistic merit ("It's there, on the air, get used to it!").
But I take exception when the "family values" crowd gets labeled with the word "censors." At least in the modern sense, the media censor prevents you from ever seeing something. There was a time in American history, not too long ago, that The Powers That Be were far more able and apt to never let anything objectionable reach the broadcast airwaves. That is not the case here.
I also hear a lot of people decrying the power that religious groups have over the arts, that we're living in a theocracy. That just goes too far for my taste; if that were really the case, why was "Swingtown" on the air in the first place? The traditional religious powers in America, while still commanding a powerful voice among the faithful, do not wield the same persuasive weapons they once did.
Simply put: When a major letter-writing campaign is initiated by a certain religious or moral authority to America's community newspaper to denounce a television show, it means said religious or moral authority did not have the muscle to do it alone.
If you want a true censor, you'd do well to look no further than your local newspaper editorial board. In the true sense of the word, we judge and estimate on a daily basis what is most important to our audience and what does not merit a place in our paper, in our e-mail updates and on our website.
Each day is an exercise in censorship for myself, as I have a finite space with which to present you, the reader, with the best mix of news, features, sports, entertainment info interspersed with photos, graphics and headlines. Quite a paradox: The people who bring you the news are all-too-often the people who keep other news from you.
But that's the nature of the beast -- by CBS bringing you "Swingtown," another show is sitting unseen (or at least relegated to a station with a smaller audience). Maybe you'll put together the analogy that CBS (Rome) has become too decadent and depraved ("Swingtown"), and just like Mr. Gibbon suggested, its downfall will come at the hands of Christianity.
Is history repeating itself? Only if you buy into Gibbon's take on things, it could be. Personally, I believe Rome fell in large part due to economic problems, and if "Swingtown" is doomed for the pop culture trash bin, my money is on the cause being money, i.e. ad revenues and ratings.

Congratulations, gentlemen

2008-06-15T09:25:00.000-07:00

It's good to know that the good folks in the Aurora Fire Department are not only quite adept at fire rescue and first-response medical aid, there's also at least one decent video editor among them:

Editor's note: Kenny Loggins added for effect.